People who feel self-pity seem to be more likely to remember their past! Things in the past, people in the past, years in the past......

Maybe it's also because of my state of mind, in this place where I'm alone, when I'm alone, I don't have to worry about whether it will be out of place, and I don't have to be afraid of being recognized! It seems that I can finally remember everything I want to remember without any scruples!

I finally understood that only in a place where no one could I feel safe......

I remembered Anne, the last time I saw her, her face distorted by pain, her desperate turn after hysteria, but my numb heart had gradually ceased to feel pain.

I just silently wish her in my heart that she can find her own happiness, so, enough!

I thought of Mu Xichun again, remembered the self-righteous love, and remembered the agreement between us that had expired. I remembered the few questions she said when she looked at Ah Wei in the video she showed me!

She'll probably figure it out! Maybe she will be angry and unwilling to her father, but she will eventually understand that they are their own parents after all, they just want their daughter to live a happier life, even if they are wrong, what is wrong with her?

She may have regrets, but a perfect life probably needs some regrets to embellish, doesn't it? If your life is smooth and everything goes well, when you look back on your life when you are old, you find that there is nothing to make you feel embarrassed, probably the biggest regret!

I think she will be happy, after all, Ah Wei loves her so much, although to some extent she did succumb to fate, but who can control her own destiny unscathed?

She might think of me from time to time, too! This person who has been riding a horse in her life, but unexpectedly met at the intersection of two different roads, and then returned to their respective journeys in an instant, looking back and smiling may be touching, but it is difficult to support their own life by relying on this smile! So after being moved, you have to turn your head and look at the road ahead of you!

As for the people who have rubbed shoulders, they have their own way back, even if the end is different, at least that look back is enough to amaze each other on a journey, and it doesn't matter if you forget it or not......

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, retracting my flying thoughts and forcing myself to stop thinking about these things!

However, when I opened my eyes, I suddenly found that when I was out of the world just now, I unconsciously knitted a wreath with the red mountain next to me!

I suddenly remembered a scene a few years ago, in the same season, the same weather, in the same place, Mu Xichun was wearing a white dress, wearing a wreath on her head that I also knitted for her with this mountain red, standing in the spring breeze of Hexi, standing in the land full of wildflowers, dancing like a beautiful elf......

After leaving my mother's grave, I returned to the train station, this hometown and my mother seems to have no place worth nostalgia except for my mother, but my mother has already turned into a glass of loess, in addition to touching the scene and increasing sentimentality, it is really difficult for me to feel a trace of warmth, and I want to find another place to settle down!

The conductor at the ticket window asked me where I was going? I was stunned for a moment, since I left City A, I haven't even thought about where I'm going for days, and I'll never go back to City A, the only city I'm familiar with, and I don't even know myself for a while

Where else to go!

So when this question suddenly appeared in front of me, I was stunned for a while, the conductor asked me again, I took a deep breath, since there is no purpose, let God decide, it seems that since when have I become accustomed to surrendering myself to fate.

Since there is no way to be sure, then go with the flow. The so-called resignation to fate is a deep-seated despair, but you must know that fate is unpredictable, and even if you try your best, you can't change the place where it will eventually take you!

To me, it seems that everything except City A is unfamiliar, and what I need now is to go to a strange and unfamiliar place to live again, since it is the same everywhere, there is no need to worry about it.

I said to the conductor, "Wherever you go, the farther away the better!" ”

The conductor gave me a strange look and said, "Are you sure?" ”

I nodded in the affirmative.

"ID card, four hundred and seventeen dollars five! This is the farthest place! ”

The conductor said to me, still looking at me with strange eyes, as if she couldn't imagine how a person could not even know where she was going. Because as I got my ticket and left, I vaguely heard her whispering in the window: "Psychotic! ”

When I got the ticket and saw the location on it, my heart couldn't help but tremble slightly, and there were two words written on the ticket: Lhasa.

It seems to be providence, and it seems to be the guidance of some kind of force in the dark, this place that I have always wanted to go but did not go, but appeared in front of me when I had no direction, so it seems like a kind of irony to think about it, but anyway, the conductor did not lie to me, this is probably the farthest place I can go!

Two hours after the train departed, I sat by the window and looked at the passing scenery, imagining the unknown distance and the new life that was about to unfold there, and I unconsciously felt a sense of sudden enlightenment.

After going through so many things, I no longer deliberately pursue anything in life, life is impermanent and fragile, and too much demanding and persistent can only make life overwhelmed.

Rather than this, it is better to let go of obsession, you may think that this is a weak compromise, but I always feel that exile is also a kind of life! It seems that before I met Mu Xichun, I had this attitude towards life, and after all kinds of ups and downs, my mood returned to the past.

I have said this before, but now I would like to add that in the end, it is just another form of different paths!

Thinking of Xiao Tang, thinking of college students, thinking of Ah Song, and thinking of their experiences, I deeply understand that even the most ordinary and simple life is a gift from God.

How many people in the world are tired of trying to break free from the mediocre life, but they don't know that many people are fighting their lives just to pursue a stability, and the so-called ordinary is not another meaning of greatness? I figured this out long ago in prison.

The journey was long, the train stopped and passed through one flashy city after another, and finally slowly drove into the wilderness.

The green outside the car window began to slowly decrease, and then a gray-brown land, with the occasional hill passing by only sand and stones, and the desolation did not need to be described, which made me finally understand why there is a color called navy blue.

Finally in the experience

After nearly 50 hours of journey, the train radio sounded the sound of the imminent arrival of the terminal Lhasa.

I got off the train in the midst of the crowd, and finally walked out of the station through the crowded corridor. Standing in the square in front of the station, I closed my eyes and exhaled heavily. The enclosed space of the train carriage and the turbid air made me feel so uncomfortable, and there was a sense of relief at the moment.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky, it was a rare good weather, under the blue dome floated in the white clouds that had been torn into silky shapes, the sun was clean and a little dazzling, which made me feel dizzy.

I asked for a bowl of beef noodles in front of the ramen stall next to the station, and the Tibetan boss warmly beckoned me to sit down in a non-standard Mandarin. He skillfully blended the noodles and then pulled a ball of noodles into thin noodles, and the movements were exaggerated as if he was dancing.

The beef noodles were served quickly, and sure enough, the noodles were strong in the mouth, and the soup was fragrant, so I was very satisfied. After eating noodles, I bought a map of Tibet from the Tibetan children who were selling maps in the square, and I wanted to make good arrangements for the rest of the trip.

I opened the map and looked at it for a long time, but I couldn't decide which direction I wanted to go in this vast land, and since I had no direction to continue west, the thought suddenly arose in my heart.

Wherever I go, there will always be a pure land for me in the reckless world, I thought to myself, so I took the bus to continue west.

The car started and continued west, accompanied by a few Tibetans and a tour group of more than a dozen people.

The female guide stood in the middle aisle and told them the next itinerary, but unfortunately I didn't know any of the places she said. I suddenly wondered if I could go with them to the places they were going.

But I know I'm not here for tourism, and I don't have much money left, so I want to experience their lives too, but I have a clear choice between dreams and bread.

The once fantastical poems and distant places now seem to be nothing more than the delicate artificiality of an ignorant teenager. Who has ever said about the meaning of travel, it is just a place where you are tired of going to a place where others are tired, and the so-called meaning is just something that people impose on them in order to cover up their own hypocrisy.

In addition to these people, there were two men and one woman, three young men, with healthy wheat skin, wide-brimmed hats on their heads, and triangular scarves around their necks, all of whom carried huge backpacks and looked like dusty men, but their expressions were excited, a look of anticipation overflowing, and I knew that they were traveling in a different way, but they did not know where they were going.

The road to the west is not very good, the car is very bumpy, and occasionally there are some mountain sections that can be described as steep, but fortunately, the driver seems to have been accustomed to such road conditions, and there is no danger along the way.

I sat by the window and looked out at the blue sky, a brown earth, and in the far reaches of my eye I could see the towering mountains, the tops of which were intertwined with the white clouds on the horizon.

From the square window, it looks like a landscape painted by a master, mysterious and majestic.

In this gray-brown world, I fell asleep unconsciously with the slight bumps of the car, and this became the color of dreams.