I'm Edward, a first-class mage who has traveled from Raven City to the Cloud Continent, and I'm going west to the City of Andulon, where I can learn more.

Speaking of travel, in fact, I prefer to stay at home, eat, sleep, and play every day, and live a life of eating and waiting for death.

So I came out, and even if Crow Feather didn't transfer me out at the beginning, I would choose to roll out on my own after a while.

I know a lot of things, I know I can't live like this in Raven City, I know what "education" I have.

There are some things I don't want to think about again and again, my memory is average, so I hope that those unpleasant things can slowly sink into the lake like silt forever.

There are some things I want to forget, but I can't.

There are some things I want to pretend I don't know, but I know better than anyone else.

They always thought I was blind, they always thought I didn't know anything, they always thought they could stand on the outside and look at me as a toy, they always thought I was a naïve idiot, naïve without any resentment and aggression.

I'm blind, I'm not in a good head, I'm an idiot.

I've suffered so much that I'm willing to be a happy idiot with food and drink and someone to take care of.

They think I don't know anything, so they won't hurt me. They thought I was stupid and not aggressive, so they raised me, met my various requirements, and made me a happy fool.

To be honest, I'm grateful to these people who took me for being stupid, at least they gave me a happy ending.

I don't think I can be better off than I am now, even if I kill all the people who have given me pain. There are so many well-wishers who can play stupid with this fool of themselves, what else is there to be dissatisfied with?

I am very satisfied and cherish my life at that time.

Then, let me be remembered by those people, let me bear all the pain and make me a guide, and it tells me that it is it that helps me to fulfill the requirements of those people, and allows those people to allow me to live happily for the rest of my life.

Then, the thing said to me: You are destined to be a strong man.

So yo, boy, don't hesitate to get stronger!

So I abandoned my wife and daughter, gave up everything I originally had, gave up the charity that those people gave me, gave up the good life for the rest of my life, and came out to work hard.

I don't think I'm a good person, I don't think I should suffer all this because I'm not a good person, and I don't think what I'm experiencing now is a punishment for my sins in my previous life.

I am a human being, I am a human being when there are people around, and I am not a human being when there are no people around.

I used to be afraid of ghosts, but now I'm not afraid.

Looking at the night sky outside the car window, I wondered how I would greet a cold human face suddenly emerging from there.

Maybe I should say to him: Don't be afraid, I won't let you feel too much pain.

In the railing behind my carriage was the driver's resting place, and there was only one side against the carriage to block some wind, and the driver had to put himself in a thick sleeping bag to warm himself up when he slept.

I'm not a good person, so I didn't think about letting the coachman in to rest.

If you don't let the coachman in and rest, you're a bad person, then there are less than one in a million good people in this world.

The one who can choose to let the coachman come in to rest when there are only two of them must be the coachman's own son.

Forgive me, that's all I can say about those people.

Let's not say that a person can effectively attract the attention of passing beasts outside, can effectively warn, and can fight for some escape time and reaction, let's just say that the coachman gets paid, he collects money to do things, and the two are not related, why should I put up with the smell of not taking a bath on each other's body for several months, and stay in a carriage with this person who will snore when he sleeps 100%?

Those who can endure this, and are not afraid of being killed by the coachman when they are sleeping, must be the coachman's own son.

I'm not a good person, so I wondered if the coachman would have bad intentions after seeing that I had received Will's gift, or would he be foolish enough to think that this was a peerless treasure left by the mage that could become a powerful man who could destroy the world.

It's not that I think too much, it's that human novels are written like this, and I'm afraid that the other party will take it seriously.

So I thought it would be reasonable for a coachman's head to suddenly appear outside the window, especially in the silence of the wilderness, when the moon was dark and the wind was high.

Actually, I used to be very optimistic, I could always laugh, it was hard to cry, and then I knelt down......

I can still laugh when there are people, and it's hard to cry.

I can't laugh when no one is around.

I think of Will, a believer in the God of the Traveler, and in all the information I know, the gods are very good, they have no desires, they do not interfere in the mortal world, they only appear when the believer needs them.

As for the writer of this information, he is naturally the priest of the temple.

The process of getting along with Will was very short, and after Will left, I knew that I was hopeless.

I understand that as long as there is one person around, I am still the one who is optimistic.

When there are no people around me who I recognize, then I am no longer human.

I am a negative body, a negative body without negative emotions. The negative body itself is produced by negative energy, and it is impossible for it to have negative emotions in itself.

Human beings will produce negative bodies because of negative emotions such as resentment, but the meaning of the existence of negative bodies is not revenge, the existence of negative bodies is to distort, distort all living things around them, and will not target any one present.

That night, I couldn't sleep.

When I walked out of the car after the sun was shining in, I thought I was targeting the driver with malice, and I always thought that the world was full of bad people, and I criticized myself.

Then I saw the coachman with messy hair, black eyes, and a little dodgy because of my gaze.

I think too much......

"If you're alright, hurry now. I said a word to the driver and returned to the car.

After a while, the carriage moved.

I lay on the bed squinting, not meditating, just quietly looking out the window at the clouds.

I didn't eat much and didn't drink much, because I didn't have the trivial things of a normal person, so I wondered if the coachman would think too much about it, and blame my abnormality on the divine wine given by the mage.

I don't want to pretend that I need to do that kind of trivial work because I want the other party to clear up the misunderstanding, and I don't want to directly expose my identity as a mage, which will not be smooth for my future journey, especially since the coachman will definitely tell his own affairs after returning to Fruda, the two female clerks in the cloth shop are really dead by their side, and it is best not to get involved in the affairs between the gods.

I don't want to go out of my way to say anything to the driver, and I know that in my life, my hands are destined to be stained with human life.

I was very indifferent in my bones, and when Elsa was about to kill the owner of the cloth shop, in order not to trap myself in it, I got out of the way, and I still watched Elsa kill the boss when I was obviously able to stop it.

"What would I do if the boss's two clerks weren't monsters with demonic tails, but humans who could fear and scream?"

"I don't know. ”

I haven't been in that situation, so I don't know.

I thought about that day, of the woman who had taken me for prey.

The negative body said that the woman took me as a prey, and was quickly able to control her fear of the negative body.

Elsa, a very attractive woman, that's what I say about that woman.

In my opinion, Elsa doesn't feel that everything she does is wrong, she just likes to kill, not to do bad things, not because killing people is a bad thing, but because she likes to do things that many people think are bad things.

"I don't think I would have that guilt if I killed such a person, right?" I think Elsa's death is a good thing for many people.

What about me?

I thought of myself, what would I say before I died if Elsa killed her?

There shouldn't be resentment, but I'm not sure, people want to do one thing and do another.

I think when Elsa kills me, I will say "thank you" very freely and sincerely.

But if I say "Cao Nima!" to Elsa before the moment, I wouldn't be surprised.

Why don't I want to order something good? In the lazy daylight of eight o'clock in the morning, I lay in the swaying carriage, listening to the monotonous sound of the wheels repeated over and over again in my ears, watching the clouds disappear and appear outside the window, sad and sad like an old man whose life has dropped, waiting for the moment when the leaves fall.

I felt that I was too pessimistic, so I started thinking about a bright future.

"I ...... , my future is very good, very good, very good!"

I can only say that, because the wishes that flashed in my mind have been shattered by the unforgiving reality.

I want to have a wife who likes me and relies on me, a cute daughter who clings to me and follows me all the time, who is a little shy and timid, and wants to have a normal body.

This chapter is an important turning point, and there will be no more first-person chapters in the next 100,000 words.