I don't know what's going on: "Is there a problem?"

The teenager's emotions exploded instantly, like a tsunami and landslide: "I'm embarrassed to ask! You are a jealous person who has taken off your killing skills! You are vulgar and indecent; killing, bloody and violent; prostitute, obscene and pornographic." It's unsightly!lawless!" His index finger kept poking at those three words, like a hungry hen meeting a bud on the ground.

The old man closed his eyes and twisted his thin neck to the side: "Vulgar!"

I heard a soft "Kala", and I was so worried that his graceful neck would break off and his head would gurgle down.

He left a cold gaze from the corner of his eye and slapped me into the dust: "I can't imagine what kind of dirty and shameless scum would use this obscene kung fu?!" Under this sharp gaze, I felt that my clothes and pants were torn apart layer by layer, as if I was standing naked in front of the judgment seat of soul and morality, and I was deeply guilty.

The young man's sense of justice was encouraged by the leader, and he became even more intense: "It's disgusting! You dirty bastard is challenging our moral bottom line!" I was forced to take two steps back by this momentum, if I hadn't thought I was too dirty, I'm afraid he would have pounced on me on the spot and bitten me to death.

The girl hurriedly explained: "Don't just look at the literal meaning, it's just a symbolic action, and killing is not really killing, besides, this skill is next to the handle, why is it obscene?"

The old man shook his head again and again: "It looks similar, it is homophonic, with strong sexual implications, others will associate it when they hear it, and everything that will make people think about it will violate the rules." ”

I patiently explained the principle of the "de-killing technique" to them, and solemnly promised: "I have learned the 'shaving of the head three times', the shot is extremely fast, the amplitude is very small, and the first-class master can only see my hand flashing over the waist, and ordinary people will not know what is happening, and it will not have any adverse effects." ”

The old man's mood eased slightly, and he squinted his eyes and said slowly: "If this stunt is really as powerful as you say, then it will indeed be very helpful for us to retreat from the enemy, but as the judges of a top-level event, our professional ethics still can't allow this kind of kung fu to appear on such a solemn occasion, no matter how fast you move and how high your skills are, it can't change its incivility in nature." ”

The juvenile pulled out several thick books from behind him and placed them in front of us, including the "Law of Civilization" promulgated by the Ministry of Criminal Affairs, the "Code of Morality" formulated by the Ministry of Etiquette, the "Outline for the Implementation of Moral Education" drafted by the Ministry of Households, and the "Ten Regulations on Further Strengthening the Standardized Management of Competitive Activities" issued by the Taiping Prefecture Government. In addition, there are also the representative work of the Hanlin Academy University Shi Wenbi "Theory of Self-cultivation" and the "Proposal for the Theme Activity of "Stressing Morality, Knowing Etiquette and Being a Good Person" initiated by the Yuyong Academy in Beijing not long ago.

The young man patted the cover of "The Law of Civilization" and said earnestly: "As a person in the martial arts, you should continue to strengthen your learning, improve your self-cultivation, remember these golden rules and classic expositions in your heart, be familiar with them, always be grateful, and live up to the ambition of Lingyun, and you will not practice the kind of fun and low-level grandstanding." ”

I defended: "It's not kung fu, it's talent. ”

"Alas, now many young people just like to sit back and enjoy their achievements without work, and if they have a little talent, they are proud of their talents, they can't see their own defects, they relax their moral cultivation and soul purification, and they degenerate into empty and thoughtless walking corpses, which is pitiful and lamentable. The old man's voice was full of compassion.

The girl really couldn't listen to it anymore: "It's really inexplicable, do you choose a capable person or a saint in this competition?"

"Ability is very important, but moral cultivation is even more important," the old man set his eyes on the "honor" column on the registration form, "You are also a person who has been a 'moral model', and your words and deeds must be worthy of your identity." ”

I spread my palms and looked sincere: "I really don't have any of the mess you imagined in this kung fu, I don't believe you can let me try it." ”

The boy cast his sharp gaze below my navel and declared solemnly, "If you dare to perform such a lewd effort on the field, we will confiscate your weapon." ”

"What's the weapon?"

"Wow. The boy's mouth was furious.

I seemed to see two sharp blades shoot out of his eyes, straight between my legs, and hurriedly turned to one side: "Who said it was a weapon, it just happened to be in that position, why didn't you say that the weapon was my belt and leg hair or something?"

The girl couldn't cry or laugh: "Hey, his strength actually comes from the anger in his heart, you think about that place at every turn, this is the unhealthy mind!"

The young man waved his hand domineeringly: "Suspicious and indecent items must be confiscated." ”

In the stalemate, a light breeze blew in his ears, and when he looked sideways, there was already a woman in white clothes sitting on the seat next to him, her skin was as white as snow, her posture was charming, and she spoke softly: "My lord, can I sign up?"

Both registration officers were taken away by her and forgot about the discussion. "Yes," the young man looked at her infatuatedly, handed over the pen and paper, and smiled rarely—a few wrinkles on the bitter gourd's face should be considered a smile, "You, are you single?"

The woman tilted her head slightly, covered her face with one hand, and rolled up her sleeves with the other: "My lord, do you also have to fill in this?"

The old man pretended to be calm: "No need, fill in the form according to the form." ”

Then the eyes of the two registration officers began to move with the woman's hand like a kite on the string, their lips slightly opened, hot and white like burnt charcoals, and the Adam's apple rolled up and down, making a slight grunting sound. They memorized all the woman's identities until she wrote the words "Sunflower Treasure Book" in the martial arts name column - I will never forget the mixed expressions on their faces at that moment.

After the man had finished reporting and leaving, I couldn't help but ask, "How can he participate in the competition with the Sunflower Book he practiced? Doesn't this kind of evil kung fu violate your rules?"

"You know a fart!" the young man said, "Sunflowers, meaning sunshine and beauty, treasure book, highlighting the high-end atmosphere." People are a hundred times better than yours, what's not to do?"

I was indignant: "But he's a eunuch!"

The boy pouted, "What's wrong with the eunuchs? We don't engage in sexism. ”

The old man stared at me: "First of all, he is willing to take the initiative to dispose of the indecent items on his body, which shows that his mind is in place and his subjective malice is small. Secondly, he just involves indecent things in the process of practicing, but when he is doing the exercises, his state is not much different from ordinary people, so the pollution of the audience's vision and thoughts is relatively light and can be ignored. ”

I was speechless, and the girl suddenly thought of a solution: "According to your logic, isn't it that Xiaosha sings a song "Man Jianghong" before starting work, which can also be regarded as civilized and healthy and elegant?"

The young man said: "It is no longer popular to sing "Man Jianghong" now. ”

I asked, "What do you sing then?"

The young man said: "If you want to sing, sing the lyrics of Prime Minister Hu Cheng himself, and Taile Ling Mei composed the music "Ode to the Holy King". ”

As soon as I heard the title of this song, I thought of the "Lobster Fu", and suddenly the chill fell all over the ground, and the singing was even worse. You know, Master was so kind to me, I didn't write any "Ode to the Teacher" for him, of course, it may be because my cultural level is too low to write such a swan song for the ages, or because I am a person who is unkind and does not know how to be grateful.

In the end, the old man proposed an official solution: "It's rare to see that you are talented, and if you have to participate, you have to wear weathering clothes." ”

I asked, "What weathering suit?"

He stretched out two fingers and picked up a jingling thing from the ground behind him and threw it on the table, and immediately put his fingers on the corner of the table and wiped it vigorously, and then took it to his nose and sniffed it, as if he had just fished something in the dung pit. When I saw it, the so-called weathered suit turned out to be a suspender made of pure iron, with two tough shoulder straps on the waist, and a lock at the top of the suspender.

The boy said, "Put it on, and you will be able to use your divine skills." ”

"This thing is a chastity belt, right?" I said dumbfounded, "I can't even do the movements, how can I compete?"

The old man said, "We don't care about this, we are already very tolerant of you." If you can't do it, you can practice again, there are so many positive and pleasing martial arts in the world that you can practice, you are still young, you should follow a good example. ”

The young man nodded and agreed: "That is, look at the achievements of the beggars' gang in recent years in martial arts improvement, the Holy Long Live Stick Empress Dowager auspicious palm I love Kyushu boxing, the mind is healthy, the movements are beautiful and easy to understand, and it is popular." If you use your brains and improve your kung fu, you will still have a chance to participate in the competition. ”

The girl and I looked at each other, not knowing what to say. >