Lu Xin glanced at Lin Yanyan, there was an indescribable weirdness and indifference in his eyes, and he still said, "The others still need to be strengthened." ”

Xue Fen couldn't refute his opinion, although she was wronged for Lin Yanyan, but whatever the big boss said, it was what it was.

"Okay, you guys continue to rehearse" Lu Xintou finished instructing, and left very chicly, leaving a cautious group of people.

Lin Yanyan still doesn't care, Lu Xintou can do whatever she wants, she found that she really doesn't care about Lu Xintou's thoughts now, and the cautious expectations in high school are worlds apart.

She even had a thought in her heart that had just been brewed more and more firm and mature. She felt that she didn't fit in here anymore and that she should get out of here.

When Lu Xin left, he was actually very sad in his heart, that day, Lin Yanyan's words really hurt him, so when he saw Lin Yanyan again, he couldn't put on a joking face to face her, and he couldn't completely look at her.

But the dissatisfaction and hatred in his heart couldn't stop him from falling in love and missing her, so after not seeing her for a few days, he came back to find her as soon as possible and wanted to see her.

He is in this tangled state, constantly torturing himself.

The night he said goodbye to Lin Yanyan from the cinema, he came home and felt like he had been drained, and suddenly he didn't want to do anything.

Sister-in-law Feng prepared dinner and waited for him, but he didn't have an appetite to enjoy, but went directly into the study.

In the study, there are his most precious things that he moved out of the Lu family, among which there are photos of him and his mother when they were children, he turned them out, looked at them over and over again, and the more he looked at them, the more heartache he felt, so that he finally covered his face with his hands.

He tried to control his emotions, but he couldn't hold back, tears flowed out of his eyes, soaking his fingers.

Over the years, he has been obsessed with the hatred of his mother's death, and he has never felt that he is at fault, but now he is questioning himself, he actually doubts that he is so obsessed with one thing, and hurts the people around Shanghai, and even hurts the people he loves the most, is it worth it

He began to deny the beliefs he had formed over the past 29 years, to deny his personality, and he didn't even understand his feelings a little, hating and regretting at the same time.

Mother's death is still vivid, but Lin Yanyan's words also echo in his ears.

She said to him: "People who don't even understand love, why let me be with you, do you think you are worthy?"

This sentence hit him too deeply.

Over the years, he has never reflected on himself, feeling that he is a man with a sound personality no matter what, no matter his feelings or life, he lives normally and healthily like a normal man, and he lives with dignity and glory like any successful man.

In his career, he has a group of people who are in front of him, and emotionally he also has a group of women who are eager to flock to him. Although he doesn't have a fixed girlfriend, he has a lot of female companions around him, although he hasn't been seriously in love, but he is not bad at playing with women, playing ambiguously with women, and even speculating on women's minds, although he is not romantic, but he is also better at playing with women than normal men.

He was very satisfied with his living conditions, and he was even proud, but today, because of Lin Yanyan's words, he felt inferior, and he even began to deny himself.

Lin Yanyan said at first that he didn't understand love, and he refuted it, but then he thought about it, does he really know love

He asked himself and found that he hadn't been in a relationship very hard, and he had never cared much about a woman's feelings, and when he realized that his attention and care about Lin Yanyan was a bit beyond imagination, he hesitated to tell that he liked this woman, and at that time it was nearly 8 years after he knew Lin Yanyan, if he really knew love, would it take so long to tell that he was in love with a woman

And at first, he arrogantly didn't admit it, but he was still very bad to Lin Yanyan, and even teased her to hurt her for fun. Finally, one day, when he saw her in love with someone else and rebelled against him, he became anxious, anxious to hate her, afraid that she would run away.

But he used too much force, Lin Yanyan did not accept his pursuit, she even hated him a little, and when he used the method of forcible grabbing, she began to resist, and in order to repel him, she did not hesitate to say such hurtful words.

So, does he really know how to love, if he knows how to love someone, why can't his way always make the person he loves comfortable, if he is really a master of understanding women, why did he become a immature boy in front of Lin Yanyan, no matter which step is wrong

He began to deny his emotional outlook, he really didn't understand love, and the emotional outlook he had established in the past 29 years was also wrong.

After denying his own view of feelings, he denied his beliefs. Is he really right to be obsessed with hatred for so many years, and not hesitate to hurt the people around him for the sake of hatred

But if he is wrong, then his mother's revenge will not be avenged, and his mother will die in vain

Lu Xintou was really in pain and burst into tears, but at this time, there was no one who could guide him on what was right.

When his beliefs were confused, he wanted to find people around him to enlighten him, but he was estranged from his relatives, and no one could help him, he wanted to find friends, but when he looked back, he found that he had been busy with work all these years, busy fighting for rights within the IV Group, he only had business partners, only subordinates and customers, and he didn't even have a close friend.

Over the years, he has been cold, cruel and indifferent to the people around him, and now when he needs human care the most, he also finds that society is so cold, cruel and indifferent to him, and these are the fruits of his own planting.

He was so lonely and vulnerable, and when he loved loneliness and fragility the most, he found that his dignity and glory were all fart, and what he had worked so hard to get over the years, when he needed help the most, none of them could help him. So, he denied his own values.

He exchanged all his feelings and all his energy for 29 years in exchange for career success, is it really worth it Now in addition to money, glory, and career, his feelings and life are blank, so he is indeed an unsound personality.

His pursuits and concepts over the past 20 years or so have all been wrong.

When he realized this problem, Lu Xintou was so painful that he even sat in the study and wept all night. I can't take care of eating, because I don't have an appetite at all.

In his memory, probably only when his mother died, he cried so painfully when he was young, and later he told himself to be strong, because he was the only one in the family, he rarely cried, whether it was a setback in life or a blow in his career, he never cried, and never gave in.

His rivals describe him as a cold-blooded and ruthless Iron Man, with almost no human weaknesses, no matter how he fights, no matter how he can't be destroyed, even in the face of adversity, he always grows up tenaciously and completely and quickly occupies the most advantageous chassis. But now, he is fragile and locks himself in his study and weeps bitterly.

The next morning, he got up and frightened Sister-in-law Feng, because his bloodshot eyes and bearded Zara looked haggard.

He took a shower and started eating breakfast. Sister-in-law Feng was worried that he was in a hurry to go to the company as usual and didn't care about drinking milk, so she specially packed the hot milk and wanted him to take it to the car to drink.

But Lu Xintou ate breakfast unhurriedly, and asked Sister-in-law Feng: "After you go home, how are my grandma and grandpa doing, is my grandpa's health better?"

Sister-in-law Feng was very surprised that he would ask these words, because he was usually busy with work, and rarely cared about the affairs of the elders in his hometown, and usually took time to go back to his hometown once a year during the Chinese New Year.

So in Sister-in-law Feng's impression, Lu Xintou is a junior with cold family affection and indifferent feelings.

Sister-in-law Feng was very surprised when she heard him say this, so she sat down to chat with him, but she sighed: "What about your grandma, it's still like this, sometimes she remembers, sometimes she doesn't, and even occasionally calls your aunt your mother's name, and everyone in the family treats her as a child." As for your grandfather, his health is getting worse day by day, he could still get out of bed and walk around before the summer, but now he can't, and he is completely lying in bed. ”

After a pause, Sister-in-law Feng cautiously said very pertinent words, "If you have time, go back to your hometown to see them, you haven't been back for three years, and they miss you a lot." ”

Lu Xintou ate breakfast with a blank expression, and suddenly said, "I'll go back to see them." ”

Sister-in-law Feng thought that he was perfunctory to her, and she didn't take it seriously, but she didn't expect that he immediately ordered the secretary to book a plane ticket, and flew back to her hometown more than a thousand kilometers away on the same day, leaving her stunned.

Lu Xintou is indeed back to his grandmother's house, his grandmother's house is in a small city, surrounded by many ancient towns, small bridges and flowing water, white walls and gray tiles, the most Jiangnan charm.

When he went home, he also gave himself annual leave, and stayed in luxury for 3 days.

Grandma and Grandpa were very happy to see him come back, and Grandma could even remember, and for a few days she knew who he was and could call his name clearly. Although grandpa was sick in bed, he also smiled and kept holding his hand.

In three days, he and his uncle and aunt went to the surrounding ancient towns for a day trip, and also fished by the river with his uncle and uncle, enjoying the sunset while chatting about work and life over the years.

Uncle sighed and said: "Tou'er is young, he is in charge of such a large multinational company, he is really young and promising, which is like us, when he is old, he will do a small business, mix with an idle leader, and the income can subsidize the family, and raise a good wife and daughter, and the elderly, I think it is good."

Lu Xintou smiled and said nothing at that time, but he was extremely envious of them in his heart. He even thought that if he could be like his uncle and uncle, have a wife and daughter, and have a happy family, even if he was worried about firewood, rice, oil and salt, what was there to be unhappy about, because he was running around at night, there were still people waiting at home, and when he was at the gate of the courtyard, he still had worries in his heart. Like him, after being busy, there will always be only one person at home, no matter how far he travels, even if he flies to the other side of the world, no one worries or worries.

This is a very empty feeling, obviously you live in the world, there are so many people around, but you have nothing to do with you, you are lonely, **exist, this is a very confused state.

Fortunately, returning to his grandmother's house in the past 3 days made him feel that he needed to be cared for again, he felt that he was not alone, at least there was grandma and grandpa who cared about him.

When parting, Lu Xintou hugged his uncle and said to him, "Thank you." ”

My uncle didn't know why, and he didn't explain. When he got on the plane, away from his mobile phone and the Internet, away from the city and the hustle and bustle, on the clouds, he suddenly found his new life positioning. It dawned on him what he was supposed to do