"Passengers going to the West Island, please note that your flight CA1322 is about to depart, please hurry up and bring your carry-on luggage。。。。。。" , Listening to the airport's radio urging boarding, Jin Xi stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window in the waiting hall, desperately looking at the heavy rain outside the window, the sky at 10 o'clock in the morning was gloomy and terrible, the flickering lightning mockingly disturbed the pedestrians in the rain, Jin Xi, whose tears had long dried up, sadness could not be explained, the corners of his mouth squeezed out a ridiculous loneliness, and read in his heart: Jin Xi, Jin Xi, everything is over, and I haven't been able to see a trace of light in the end, okay, this city has abandoned you, and this world has abandoned you. Bowing his head, on the chain on his chest, hung a red USB flash drive and a small porcelain vase with lilies printed with his mother's ashes. Jin Xi clenched the delicate little porcelain vase, and with a throat that was almost silent, he let out a shallow breath: "Mom, I'll take you to see the sea!" Jin Xi, who only carried a backpack, turned around and walked towards the boarding gate.

Three months ago in Qingming, my mother took Jin Xi's grandmother and Jin Xi's cousin's family to charter a car to go to the Jinling cemetery 60 kilometers away from Bincheng to sweep the grandfather's sacrifice, when returning, the car broke down on the highway, collided with the isolation belt, and rolled over for three and a half weeks after breaking the isolation belt and then inserted into the oncoming truck wheels, the truck braked sharply and slid forward more than 30 meters and rolled over, rolling apples all over the ground. In a few seconds, my mother and cousin were the first to be thrown out of the car by inertia, and my grandmother, aunt and wife and the driver were buried under the wheels, while my mother and cousin died of their injuries on the way to the hospital. At that time, Jin Xi was working in a women's clothing store, and accompanied a female customer to try on more than 20 clothes, and the phone vibrated N times in the warehouse, and when Jin Xi picked up the mobile phone, it was more than an hour later.

She looked at the more than 40 missed calls, and her heart swelled with great unease, and she quickly dialed the phone, and the call was answered by a man, saying that it was the police. Jin Xi forgot how to get to the hospital, and when the traffic police and police accompanied her to identify the body, she seemed to have forgotten to breathe and passed out. It was noon the next day when she woke up, Jin Xi seemed to have lost her memory, and the first thing she saw was her sister-in-law, who called her sister-in-law with her cousin, and when her sister-in-law saw that Jin Xi woke up, her originally red eyes burst into tears again: "What is this called, Jin Xi, you have to be good!" Jin Xi sat up violently and asked her sister-in-law, "Why am I here, where is my mother?" The sister-in-law looked at Jin Xi like this and cried even more silently, for a long time, Jin Xi had a real feeling, she remembered the six corpses in the morgue yesterday, five of which were her relatives.

In the traffic accident processing center, Jin Xi looked at the accident photographed by the surveillance, clearly saw his mother and cousin being thrown out of the car, clearly saw the truck overturned, and also clearly saw the apples rolling all over the ground and the van pressed under the truck, the traffic police said that after investigation, the van was normal driving, and the cause of the accident was that the speed of the car was too fast to roll the stones on the road into the position of the car, causing the vehicle to break down, Jin Xi did not understand these, the traffic police said that it was really an inch, the cause of this kind of accident is still rare, and the probability of occurrence is very small, In the end, it means that this accident is a natural and man-made disaster, and the family of the sister-in-law is indignant, and must be held accountable, and ask for an explanation. And how could Jin Xi have the heart to listen to this, her world collapsed in an instant.

Jin Xi's childhood was not happy, the family was not good, and there was an alcoholic and incompetent father, in Jin Xi's memory, his father was always drunk, and he often beat his mother, once his father broke his mother's four ribs with a heavy hand, and his mother was admitted to the hospital, Jin Xi said to his mother: "When I grow up, I will help my mother beat my father away and throw him into the sea to feed the fish." Jin Xi hates her father very much, she hopes that her father can disappear, she also hates men very much, because men will beat women, Jin Xi told her mother that she will not get married when she grows up, because she will be beaten if she gets married, and she wants to be a powerful woman who can beat men away. Soon after her mother was discharged from the hospital, she moved with Jin Xi, and later Jin Xi knew what divorce meant. Mom worked very hard, Jin Xi finished high school, just when the college admission letter came down, her mother was sick, because of the accumulation of work, her mother could no longer work, and she still needed someone to take care of her, Jin Xi gave up continuing to study and started a life of part-time work, she knew that she had to depend on her mother, she couldn't leave, she had to take care of her mother.

From 19 to 35 years old, in 16 years, mother's hospitalization is commonplace, every time I nurse in the hospital, patients say that my mother is blessed, there is such a filial daughter, my mother smiles on her face, and her heart is bitter, because when her mother is seriously ill, she can't leave people around her, Jin Xi has to resign and take care of her mother wholeheartedly, when her mother is stable, Jin Xi can go to work with a little peace of mind, so for more than ten years, Jin Xi has changed a lot of jobs, and it is very hard to be unstable. Mom always felt that she was dragging Jin Xi down, but Jin Xi was not afraid of hardship, she knew that she had to rely on her mother for her life. When he was 30 years old, Jin Xi bought his first house, although he was small, Jin Xi was very happy, because he finally didn't have to rent someone else's house with his mother. Sometimes my mother persuaded Jin Xi that if she had a suitable boyfriend, she would have a relationship, she couldn't be so single, it was too hard for a woman to be alone, but Jin Xi said: "I won't get married, I don't believe in men, what about the result when you get married, are you happy, it's not hard work alone, we're good like this, our mother will be better in the future, don't talk to me about this topic in the future." ”

What I didn't expect was that better would not come, because there were no more mothers. My sister-in-law helped take care of the family's funeral affairs and purchased two adjacent cemeteries in Jinling, one for my cousin's family, one for my mother, and my grandmother and grandfather in the same tomb. On the day of the burial, Jin Xi separated some of her mother's ashes and put them into a blue and white porcelain vase with lilies printed on them. Kneeling in front of my mother's tombstone, I couldn't hold back anymore when I knocked my head down, and the howling and crying almost resounded throughout the world, the sky was gloomy and it rained, and God may have grieved with it, more than three hours, Jin Xi cried all her strength, passed out, and woke up in the hospital bed.

It was still a rainy day outside the window, wondering, why the rain in April was endless, Jin Xi watched the raindrops fall from the window, and tears couldn't help but fall. My sister-in-law took care of Jin Xi for a week, and has been comforting Jin Xi, the most she said is that people can't be resurrected after death, people have to look forward to these words, Jin Xi is numb, in the past years, Jin Xi's center was her mother, and now this center has been taken away, what should be used to fill it?

Jin Xi missed the first seven, that is, the old man said that the deceased was resurrected, because she was in the hospital at the time. After being discharged from the hospital, the first thing Jin Xi did was to run to the cemetery 60 kilometers away, and when she passed the section of the road where the incident occurred, she saw the already repaired isolation belt, which was very new, and it looked out of place. The sky is still gloomy, this strange April day, how long are you going to be sad, Jin Xi left tears again, she was thinking, mother's soul has been waiting for me here. Before coming to the cemetery, I saw the tribute that my sister-in-law came to sacrifice three days ago, the two adjacent cemeteries were full, Jin Xi silently shed tears, took out a bag of sugar baked cakes from her bag, and a bottle of canned yellow peaches, which is my mother's favorite food, she sat down, lit three incense sticks, opened the can, and made a trembling voice in her throat: "Mom, I haven't eaten either, let's eat together." As he spoke, he picked up a sugar cake and ate it. The baked cake was sweet, but Jin Xi felt more and more bitter, she couldn't swallow it, tears flowed into the corners of her mouth, the salty and bitter taste made people want to vomit, Jin Xi picked up the canned yellow peach and drank a few sips of sugar water violently, before she took the bite of the baked cake, she smiled bitterly and said: "Mom, this baked cake is not delicious, I really don't know why you love this so much, change the taste in the future!" ”

When the incense burned out, a light rain fell in the sky, pouring cold on his face, Jin Xi sat in front of the tomb, looking at the gloomy and endless sky, unable to distinguish the rain and tears on his face. She whispered: "Mom, what should I do in the future, how can I live in this city alone, can I live, what reason do I have to live?" "Yes, how to live, the only few relatives are lying in the cold cemetery, and Jin Xi even wants to lie in it himself. On the way home, she passed by the accident site again, and saw a truck coming from the opposite lane, Jin Xi even hoped that there would be another accident, so she let the car she was riding in also insert into the bottom of the truck, so she went to the world of life to reunite with her family, the moment the truck drove past, she saw a picture on the body, it was the blue sky and blue sea, and the center of the picture was a few carp that were vivid. Jin Xi suddenly remembered that when her mother was hospitalized last year, she said to her mother: "When you are well, I will take you to the beach for a walk, let's live by the sea for a month, you see those sanatoriums or something, they are all on the beach, with a wide field of vision, and a good mood will help recovery." My mother said, "The sea, I went to your aunt's house when I was a teenager, and I went to the beach every day to pick up shells and fish for kelp, and it was dark and dark every day, and then your aunt passed away and never went again." I said, "That's good, next year when the weather is warm, let's go and eat kelp." "Then let's go to the West Island, I heard that the sea water in the West Island is warm!" "Who did you hear say that the sea in the West Island is warm, hahaha。。。。。。 , yes, the West Island is so hot in summer, and the sea must be hot too, so let's go to the West Island! ”

The next year has come, and the weather is warm, but the sea in the West Island should not be able to wait for Mom. Jin Xi came home, feeling that everywhere was dead and silent, lying on the bed, unconsciously crying, feeling that the bed was so big, half of the bedside and her mother's bedding, Jin Xi felt scared like never before, she quickly got up, wiped her tears into the kitchen, I don't know what smelly smell, lifted the lid of the pot, it was the eggs that my mother boiled on the day of Qingming, it was already blackened, looking at the pots and pans that my mother used every day, Jin Xi was in a trance, she saw her mother washing dishes by the pool, smiled at her, and said: "I have to guarantee to eat two eggs a day, Cook in a pot and eat hot! Jin Xi stepped forward and just wanted to grab her mother's wrist, but her mother disappeared. Hurry back to the room, spread out at the head of the bed, and watch the phantom of my mother busy in every corner, and just like that, a day, two days, three days passed.

On the morning of the fourth day, Jin Xi opened her eyes in a daze, there was still no sunlight outside the window, she really couldn't continue like this, she walked to the dining table with her hands on the wall, and poured herself a glass of water. Picking up the cup and looking at the floating surface of the water, Jin Xi decided that she was going to completely leave this Bincheng that made her collapse, since it had become an isolated island, it was better to go with the sea.