One day in early spring, the sun was shining.

The spacious river surface is sparkling, the mountains on both sides of the river are undulating, down the river to the left of a mountain, along the river is like a knife like a cliff, extending forward and gradually lowering, the middle suddenly reveals the flat place, surrounded by three high ridges, the front is open and extends outward to the foot of the mountain, from a distance it looks like a huge and peculiar chair standing, the local people call the chair "櫈子". Therefore, people call this mountain "Zhu'er Mountain".

The whole mountain is lush and green.

In the open space of the mountain, against the cliff, there was a row of houses, and in front of it was a large clearing, where seven or eight shirtless men were practicing in good shape.

One by one, the feet are staggered, the center of gravity is shifted forward, the steps are shaken, the left and right staggered punches, the practice is the most basic martial arts moves, but the whole action is uniform, one step and one punch, the fist brings the wind, plus the mouth exhales and drinks, and the sound on the field is loud.

Next to the hot martial arts training ground, a concrete and sturdy body is spread out on the recliner, with both hands and feet hanging down outside the chair, wearing an open black cloth torn chest placket and knee-length wide trousers, hands tied kung fu wristbands, feet wearing homespun shoes, and a copy of Jinling Dejutang's "Zhongyi Water Margin" is covered on the face.

The uncovered mouth was spitting out loudly, as if it was about to blow the book on its face, saliva flowing down the corners of the mouth, and the snoring was sometimes as sharp as a whistle, sometimes as thunderous as a thunder, rhythmically accompaniment to the strong men who practiced on the side.

After another half of the incense time, the snoring suddenly turned into laughter, and at the same time, the body on the recliner raised his hands and waved, one by one to form a hug. After a few times, it flipped to the left side, and then the person and the chair fell to the ground, and the chair was buckled to the buttocks.

The martial arts practitioner next to him was really startled, and Qi Qi turned his head to look at the body on the ground.

With a "oops", the man who fell to the ground staggered to his feet, about forty years old, and his figure was more burly than when he was lying down, he was more than eight feet tall, with a fat nose, a wide mouth and thick lips, and a thick frown.

The man looked behind him sleepily, stroked his cheek with one hand and rubbed his ass with the other, stayed for a while, came to his senses, and muttered, "Damn, it's not safe to dream." ”

He kicked the chair that had fallen to the ground, looked up and saw a group of people staring at him blankly, and shouted angrily: "What are you looking at?!" Frightened, the people on the field immediately turned their heads and continued to practice.

The man then continued to shout: "If you don't have to practice anymore, don't think about eating today." ”

He bent down and picked up the book on the ground, patted the dust, flipped through it again, and muttered, "I said I couldn't catch it." It turned out to be a dream!

said, smashed his mouth, "Tsk~ Hu Sanniang looks really good, everyone has arrived, I woke up at this critical time, it's a fucking pity!" As he spoke, he picked up his book and turned around and walked towards the room behind the martial arts field.

The house is a row of simple houses built of bamboo, there are three or four side rooms on both sides of the middle hall, in front of the wall of the middle hall in the house, put a long case, in front of the case is a square table of four immortals, each side leans on a square chair, and the front two rows each have two chairs.

The man stepped into the hall, and was faced with a plaque hanging crookedly above the west wall, on which the handwritten words "for the heavens" were written.

Different from the description in the book, the four words on this plaque are really scribbled, and those who have seen it think that this is a child's wanton work, but he is not concerned about this, but rather proudly strokes his chin covered with scum, and sighs: "Do the right thing for heaven." Right! My life is to do the right thing for heaven and eliminate rebels, Song Gongming is a fart! Hey..."

Suddenly, someone slapped him on the back of the head, and the man screamed "ah", and he staggered forward, and hurriedly grabbed the passenger seat in front of him to stand firm.

The man hurriedly stroked his head and was about to get angry, but when he turned his head, he saw a woman, wearing a blue dry coat, wide pants with lace on the lower body, a pair of round lipstick embroidered shoes, a high bun, round fat cheeks, a stocky figure, staring at a pair of round eyes, and a fierce momentum.

"Yo, Madame is here." The man put away the anger that was about to explode, and asked with concern.

The woman crossed her waist and shouted: "I shouted so much in the back, are you deaf?!" ”

The man hurriedly explained: "No, no, Madame told me that something was wrong??" ”

The woman glared at the man, pushed the man away with her hand, twisted her big ass and walked to the right seat and sat down, put her left hand on the table, leaned back, and said slowly, "What? Still counting on this plaque to be your dream of being a hero in Liangshan?! You don't look at it, the chicken-like words hang on the door of your head, which makes people look really embarrassed, and they are embarrassed to laugh! ”

"Madame laughed again, I just took a nap for a while, and I'm still walking!" The man agreed as he put the book back in his hand.

The small movement did not escape Madame's eyes, Madame glanced at her, and said contemptuously: "Come on! What's there to hide in a broken book, I don't know how many times I've read it back and forth, I really think that after reading the book, I am Chao Gai?! Hmph~"

The man sneered and walked over and sat down on the left, "Madame, I'm a bantam tiger Wang Ying, don't you listen to your Hu Sanniang's call!" After speaking, he looked at Madame, and it was expected that Madame would be happy for this sentence.

Sure enough, the lady secretly pretended to be strange and said, "Phew! A dog can't spit out ivory in his mouth! ”

"By the way, madam, you just looked for me?" The man then asked.

"Humph! Let me ask you, our village is about to run out of food now? What do you think to do? ”

"Really? It's easy, don't worry, madam, I'll take a few brothers down the mountain to fill it up at once. With that, he got up and was about to go out.

"Eh~ The weather is going to get cooler this time, and my clothes for autumn and winter are shorter."

The man's eyes rolled and he immediately said, "Oh, I understand, don't worry, Madame, I can't shorten you." ”

Before the words fell, a voice came from the inner hall: "Yo~ You have to carry private goods when you go out on business, this is not good~"

I saw a woman appear on the side of the right screen door, this woman has a melon seed face, eyebrows and obliquely fly into the sideburns, peach small mouth with a charming smile, wearing an emerald green shirt, quite dusty.

The lady sitting in the chair, her body did not move, her eyes slanted back, and she said angrily, "What can't you do?!! What's the matter with you? Don't be ashamed."

Seeing this, the man hurriedly said: "Ouch~ Cuiqin, don't make trouble, I'm discussing business with the eldest lady." ”

Seeing that the eldest wife was talking about people, and the head of the house did not protect herself, she suddenly became angry, and her voice raised an octave: "Hey~ What is making trouble, who is making trouble!" What kind of bullshit are you two discussing? I heard it clearly, and I didn't forget to think about her few torn clothes when I went down the mountain, even so, I am also your mother-in-law, and my clothes are short, so I should fill in a few pieces! ”

"Hey~ You still have the face to say that you want clothes, when is the head of the house short of you, so many shoes and clothes at home are not enough for you to wear, wear bells and whistles all day long, who will show the waves? Shameless thing! Not to be outdone, the eldest lady stood up and scolded with a high voice.

"You, you're shameless, you don't look in the mirror, you still pick clothes to wear like this, and you trample things..."

"It's against you! Look at your foxy appearance, I don't know how many men you have recruited. ”

The man on the side saw that the situation was not good, and hurriedly persuaded him: "Alas~ two ladies, don't quarrel, don't quarrel, both of them have clothes, they have them." ”

"Phew!" Cuiqin turned her face and scolded the owner, "What do you call it, why didn't I have the hairpin you gave her yesterday?" You are eccentric! ”

The head of the house was in a hurry, and hurriedly explained: "How can it be partial?!" Didn't I give you a pair of gold rings a month ago? ”

"Oh~ You actually secretly gave her a gold ring and took a broken hairpin to fool me! You bastard! As she spoke, the eldest lady threw out her big hand full of silver rings and bracelets, and slapped the face of the master, and Cuiqin was stunned for a while.

"No, I...."The head of the house covered his face, wanting to cry without tears and just wanted to justify.

Cuiqin looked at it here, secretly amused, but pretended to be distressed, and stepped forward to caress the face of the master, "Alas!! You're all right. Ouch, this face is red. “

As he spoke, he turned back to the eldest lady and sneered: "Hmph! Boss, look at this is a good wow! This mother-in-law doesn't take you seriously, so hurry up and leave her and blast her out. ”

Then there was another "snap", and the palm of the eldest lady's hand was also imprinted on Cuiqin's face at this moment.

"You hit me! In charge, she beat me. I'm fighting with you! I'm not alive anymore..."Now Cuiqin completely exploded, screaming and crying, and pounced on the eldest lady regardless of the three-seven-twenty-one.

The two women were tearing up in the house.