“…… This is my third year at the academy, and hey, everything else is fine, but there are too many 'flies' around me - don't those boys know how annoying they are? To me, they are like a bunch of uncivilized savages...... No, it should be said, it's animals! All day long only thinking about how to show muscles to the opposite sex in order to gain favor.

“…… This guy named John was the most silent of the men......

“…… Who would have thought that this silent guy would be so delicate? He's really good at being observant and noticing details that no one else notices, including me...... Liz, although you studied internal medicine, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't be negligent in surgery!

“…… I just said last time that this guy is delicate, and today he is like a fool...... Hey, I wanted to introduce Emily to him, but ...... It seems that he is completely uninteresting to Emily, is he a person who is bent on studying?

“…… What would I study if I didn't study internal medicine? I haven't really thought about it. I guess I'm going to study pharmacy...... The guy said he was interested in psychiatry (psychology became a discipline in 1879 when the first psychological laboratory was established by Wundt, Germany, and before that, its name was uncertain, and the skills of hypnosis and psychological suggestion were not considered scientific research), a term I had never heard of, but I found it interesting. This guy knows a lot...... Listening to him, it seems to be a study of the inner thoughts of human beings, hahaha, if there is really such an academic, wouldn't it be possible to read minds? Can this guy read my mind again?

“…… John William, you're a pig!

“…… Really, why do I have to take the initiative in such a thing? Could it be that I was subtly influenced by that guy's 'inner guidance'? Hmph, but looking at the guy's surprised face, you can see that he has long been ...... Forget it, I don't write about this kind of thing, I really missed a lot of studies during this time!

“…… Today is an important day in my life, and in the presence of my parents and mentor, Liz Constantine officially became Liz William...... Well, but, Liz, you're an extraordinary woman, you can't be like any other woman! You have your own career and ideals, don't forget......

“…… Cooking for the first time with that guy today, well, forget it, this kind of thing is not for me......

“…… It's strange, I've been counting the days for a long time, why haven't I been able to get pregnant for more than two years? I'm going to ask the teacher another day......

“…… It was the saddest day of my life......

“…… Liz, you have to be strong, although this regret is something you can't face, but all this is also God's arrangement. As a devout believer, you naturally understand that this may be the Lord's test for you, and you must take heart ......

“…… After John and I finished talking, although I still couldn't let go of this regret, my mood was indeed much better. I really didn't expect him to be able to tolerate this. You know, he is also the only son of the William family! I know he said that because he loved me...... I can only repay it with love for him! It was my misfortune, but it was my luck to meet him......

“…… I heard that the occult medicine of the East is able to change a person's constitution! This definitely gives me hope!

“…… I'm still too optimistic. Hey, after this year, I will be thirty-seven years old, where can I hope for anything? It's time to accept this reality......

“…… Today was the first time I had a big fight with John. Of course, I know that I am at fault in the first place, but why can't he understand me more? Evelyn is a slut and a bitch, and John shouldn't have even the slightest intersection with her!

“…… I could feel the eyes of my colleagues looking at John, who was about to become vice president, and their minds were coming alive! This is the social ethos, and they are even proud to have lovers! What a sad and ridiculous thing it was, but John kept himself clean......

“…… Today is John's big day, he has become Vice-President of the Royal College of Physicians! God, forty-five-year-old vice president, I'm so proud of him. However, does becoming the dean mean that he is busier? Don't have time for me? Well, I can't influence his career. If I had a child with me......

“…… I decided, giving up my chance to improve. Although Dean Charles talked to me, I had to think about John. He's a candidate for the future dean, and how can I be at the top of this academy like him? John gave up so much for me, and I should give up for him too...... I wasn't interested in status or power anyway, and Dean Charles didn't like Oriental medicine......

“…… Today, the college is recruiting for nursing, and those little bitches who come to interview are so obvious that they are blind? I have to warn John that these people who try to go astray must not be admitted......

“…… The child John brought home today was a Semitic and had a stutter, but I could see that it was a poor man...... I am forty-four years old, and if I could have given birth to a son or daughter for John, I would have been older than that......

“…… Verratti, Curt, Caitlin, Ruger...... Although these children are still cute, my favorite is Aaron. John thought the same way, and it was clear that he did not just think of Aaron as a student, but as a child...... It's okay, although John and I don't have our own flesh and blood, but we can get warmth from these children, which is also a kind of compensation!

“…… Aaron's kid was so paranoid that John wanted to try to give him a psychotherapy. Yes, there is already a psychology department on the German side, but there is still a blank space on our side. Everyone has so many things to go through, and how many people can keep their minds healthy forever?

“…… This is the second time John and I have had a big fight! How could he do that? Depriving a woman of the right to have children? Depriving a child of the right to come into the world? Does he think he is the Lord? Or could he abandon his faith for the sake of his loyalty? I think he's a stranger...... He would never have done that—before! Is it because we don't have children of our own, and he has a hatred for other people's children?

“…… John came and confessed to me that he was wrong—he agreed with me, and he would have persuaded the Queen...... I think so, the queen is a little nervous! Helena was nothing more than a late birth...... But John was able to do that, and I know it's mainly because of me. Although he wavered in his faith, he was able to do this for me, and it was clear that he still loved me......

“…… John seemed preoccupied today, I asked him, he didn't speak, it seems that I should also study psychology?

“…… Today, John suddenly came up with an idea – he wanted to resign as dean. He didn't stay in this position long, but the physical exertion, the tiredness of his heart, had made him feel bored—indeed, I had seen his emaciation during this time, and had even proposed to him a trip, but he was always ill-armed. How can he make such a big determination now? The queen had promised to give him a medal before! It's rare that he can figure this out...... Exactly, that's what I'm hoping for. I know that in college, you can only focus on academics, on interpersonal relationships, and really apply what you have learned? Shouldn't we, as doctors, help as many people as we can? Now that we are all forty or fifty years old, it is not too late to realize this ideal!

“…… It's harder than I thought it would be to get back to society and life among people, but it's only materialistic. John says he still has enough savings – I'm not worried, I'm worried that once this clinic is up and running, who's going to take care of our lives? There used to be a nanny in the academy...... Maybe we need to hire a long-term servant!

“…… Lilith is a nice girl, she looks honest, and although she doesn't have much aura in her work, we are still happy with her.

“…… I have to retract what I said about Lilith half a year ago, this girl actually has a lot of ideas in her heart, she wants to live a good life, which is understandable, but you have to rely on yourself, don't you? Always counting on me and John to introduce her to some upper-class people? But you're a country girl yourself, and you're not attractive at all, are you?

“…… I don't like the way Lilith looks at John lately! She's been a little too inappropriate in front of John lately, don't think I don't know.

“…… John was out and about a lot, and I didn't know if I should talk to him face to face - because I found a tangled woman's hair in the cuff of his coat! I knew I should trust him, but ...... I'd love to ask him if he's actually going to see someone! He is a surgeon, how can he have so many opportunities to come into contact with women?

“…… I haven't paid attention for a few years, and my gray hair is almost out of reach! Liz, are you really old? yes, you're over fifty years old, so you're not a little girl anymore......"

“…… Recently, Lilith has been a bit careless at work and has broken my favorite oriental pastel porcelain coffee cup! But John actually spoke for her? Is he ...... No, how dare I imagine this question!

“…… John came back later and later, and he spoke less...... I don't know what that means, but I can feel his abnormality! In particular, he has significantly less interest in me, is it because I am old? Or did he finally give up on me because of my regrets?

“…… Today, I decided to let this young man named Stephen stay, hoping that he will follow John well, learn something on the one hand, and ...... on the other Can you help me watch John, too! ”