(Thanks to the reward of "Wasted Half Jia", pay back one more first, owe more 4)

The colorful water droplets instantly extinguished the fire on the oil painting, and under the illumination of the orange corridor lamp, the flickering light splashed above the heads of Cheng Mo and Bai Xiuxiu, and soon the two of them were wet, and the weather in Hunan Province was cold in December, and both of them were dressed very thinly, and they trembled slightly in the cold water curtain.

Cheng Mo's hand holding the painting hung down weakly, at this moment the painting was half burned, half of the frame was like charcoal, as if it would break at any time, and the half of the canvas attached to the frame, the curly edge was burned into an irregular line obliquely in the half of the blackened frame.

Cheng Mo looked at Bai Xiuxiu's cheeks, water droplets flowed down her jet-black hairline and sharp chin, and the soaked white round-necked silk sweatshirt was tightly attached to the slender neck, clearly showing the graceful outline of the collarbone, and the soaked fabric naturally fell like water, until the high and round chest below, and even the pattern of the Hun hood was clearly visible.

But Cheng Mo's gaze didn't look down, he just looked at Bai Xiuxiu's face with messy hair, and felt that her appearance at the moment was less indifferent from above, adding a little fragility.....

Just as Bai Xiuxiu was about to speak, Cheng Mo spoke first.

"This is my first time painting oil painting, the last time I painted was to help Mr. Shen complete the huge graffiti, but that time it was just according to the shapes that Mr. Shen had created to fill in the colors, I used to think that painting was a very difficult thing, how much that experience gave me some confidence, so that I can have the courage to pick up the brush ......"

Cheng Mo's light, emotionless voice echoed through the narrow porch, passing through the slightest waterline, making people feel a little transparent and blurred, like the burred white edge on this canvas.

"The moment I set the paint and stood in front of the canvas, I had an image of you when I first met you, your patent leather heels cold and proud in the bright light, shuttling through the rhythmic drum beat, each stroke striking my heart...... I didn't quite understand why my master liked to give paintings to beautiful girls, but now I can understand that when I conceived this painting, I found it very pleasant, and no matter what kind of masterpiece is born from a piece of pure white. On the other hand, a masterpiece has long been hidden in this canvas. The thought of being able to bring the first time I saw you onto the canvas gives me a mixed feeling of tension and respect.

After a pause, Cheng Mo said softly: "This feeling is actually not bad......

"But for me who has never painted, in the process of painting, the most painful thing for me is how to put the first stroke on the canvas, the canvas in front of me has hundreds of millions of possibilities, at this moment I am equal to all the famous painters in history, however, I look at the canvas but can't put down the pen for a long time, I am a little afraid that I can't express the effect I want on this canvas, and I can't show the most profound appearance of you in my mind. ”

"I've thought about it for a long time, and now I'm drawing your outline in the middle, that's right, use white paint to trace your outline on the white canvas first, although this beginning is a bit nonsensical, the picture of you in my memory also became blurred at the moment I began to paint, those details loomed, so I couldn't figure it out, I reluctantly painted, and my mind flashed back to the way you held up the wine glass, somehow the more I painted, the more I remembered, the more I remembered, I felt that I was back in that time in my life, standing behind you...... ”

At this time, Cheng Mo's voice became more and more excited, just like the burning painting, it was just a small flame at first, and then it turned into a scorching torch in the back.

Cheng Mo himself didn't know what was wrong, originally he just wanted to say two sensational words, but the more he said that the little hidden pain in his heart that could not be healed suddenly began to rupture, and the bright red blood could not stop flowing out, no matter how much compensation he received now, he could not let go of the fact that he was forced to become a nihilist who believed in philosophy (note 1).

Those hot words never stopped, and Cheng Mo could blurt out almost without thinking, but Cheng Mo's thoughts drifted to a raining evening in junior high school.

The days are probably the same as in the cold winter, the rain curtain outside the teaching building makes it impossible to see the school gate not far away, and the raindrops knock on everything attached to the ground, making dense and continuous sounds, cleaning the original noisy world and quieting down, all other sounds have disappeared, talking, car horns, pop music in the store......

All that was left was the sound of the rain.

Cheng Mo stood under the canopy of the teaching building, watching other people's parents come to pick up their children, some parents drove cars, some parents wore raincoats, and some parents held umbrellas, Cheng Mo watched Huang Yiyi help her mother's arm to change into rain boots, her mother is also very beautiful, her hair is long, her face is very round, and her smile is very kind. After changing the rain boots, Huang Yiyi's mother put her small leather shoes into a plastic bag, hung them on the umbrella handle and hugged her shoulders into the pouring rain, the bean-sized raindrops smashed on the soft umbrella cloth, and a gentle voice sounded, Cheng Mo retreated into the teaching building, his father went abroad to attend a seminar, he would not have anyone to pick him up, it was better to stand in the teaching building to avoid the wind, and wait for the rain to stop.

He watched the lights in the teaching building go out, saw that all the students had left, and watched the sky slowly darken and the rain did not stop at all, and said to himself: I can only go to the store at the school gate to buy an umbrella.

He walked into the heavy rain and walked forward slowly, the cold raindrops instantly soaked his whole body, but he couldn't run faster, philosophy couldn't warm his trembling body at this moment, philosophy couldn't close the distance between the teaching building and the store, the scar that was usually buried, was immediately drenched in blood washed by the pouring rain, this is an unspeakable pain that belongs to Cheng Mo, no matter how long it takes, he can't heal the pain.

Cheng Mo felt that he could understand his mother giving up on himself, he had heard his father say that his mother was actually very sad, he really understood. It was only at this moment that he strongly felt the presence of his mother, a word that was unfamiliar to him.

Cheng Mo wondered if her mother would have thought that one day, in a torrential rain, her son who gave up would stand in the cold rain and think of her.

He walked to the shop at the school gate and bought the biggest umbrella, at this time his cotton clothes were heavy with water, his underwear and pants were attached to his skin, it was cold and uncomfortable, he walked to the road with an umbrella, the car was speeding away, and the lights were particularly distant in the dense rain.

He shivered and walked home slowly, feeling that he had exhausted his strength, so he quickly took off his clothes, took a hot bath, and lay down in the cold bed.

Cheng Mo curled up and thought, "If there is a warm embrace, how happy it would be." ”

The memory was mixed with the scene in front of him, which made the coldness felt on Cheng Mo's body even more bone-chilling, and his voice began to cool down from the scorching heat, and became silent and cold in the flying water curtain.

"Maybe you can see that my painting has traces of imitation of Van Gogh, for a novice like me, imitation is not a shameful thing, I am actually very happy to use the painter I like to paint in the way I want to show the woman I desire, of course, I can't do Van Gogh and transform the pain and suffering of life into passionate beauty on the canvas. Even a layman like me knows that it is easy to express pain in painting, but it is very difficult to combine passion and pain to express the passion, joy, and magnificence of the world....."

"As far as I am concerned, you are the same, full of pain, passion, joy, magnificence...... Maybe you are like the first oil painting in my life, first the simple white lines, and then the layer after layer of smeared background color, the bright color on the white canvas is getting deeper and deeper, but after all, you can only be presented by me on the canvas, and my white paper, no matter how the color is added, is always just a chess piece that can be discarded. ”

Cheng Mo threw the remaining half of the burned painting at Bai Xiuxiu's feet, "I will never let other people's expectations plan the course of my fate, even if I have no way to change my fate, but I can challenge it....."

Saying that, he turned and walked into the safety staircase, quickly disappearing into the darkness.

Bai Xiuxiu looked down at the oil painting that had been burned by fire and doused with water, the acrylic paint was flowing with clear water droplets, and after refraction, the painting exuded the smell of the passage of time.

Cheng Mo's words were still echoing in Bai Xiuxiu's ears, and when she saw that only half of the painting was left, she felt a pain that went deep into her bone marrow, which reminded her of the day she learned of her husband's death, and a helpless and dazed feeling revived in her heart.

At this time, the fire sprinkler head was finally turned off, the water curtain disappeared, Bai Xiuxiu bent down and reached out to pick up the painting, gently wiped the stagnant water on it, she seemed to hear the sound of paint smeared on the canvas.......