"It's your birth...... Russell. You changed all that. ”

To this day, Russell is still not called "my son", but by his first name.

Russell raised his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth sneering slightly up.

He keenly caught a trace of hostility towards himself from the bottom of the sheath's heart.

Hostility towards his own son?

"What have I changed?"

He asked rhetorically, "Is it because I'm born to know?" ”

"Maybe in my subconscious, there is also a part of this reason."

The sheath didn't deny it, but said calmly: "But at first, I just want you to think...... I am an amazing father.

"Alice and I love each other. Although she has a little admiration for me, I think it comes more from the longing for the mature opposite sex...... And just after getting acquainted, I thought Alice was an amazing person.

"My love for her is closer to a goddess than a girl. I am loyal to her, I serve her, I guard her. I am nothing but her sheath, containing her edge, protecting her body. I am her disciple and her guardian.

"And she saw me as a mentor. In private, she still calls me 'Teacher'. It makes me ashamed...... Because I don't think I have anything to teach her. My life was meaningless, my talents were so low, and all I could teach her was the pain that I had chewed on alone.

"Originally, the relationship was stable. But before you were born, I suddenly felt inferior......

"What can I do compared to his great mother? Am I really worthy to be called a father?

"Do I have the right to have offspring? Am I really mature enough to educate my children? Am I right? Is the road I'm walking on safe enough? Can I raise him to be a great man?

"-I don't know."

The man whispered, "So I fled...... Escaped from my identity.

"I took on the most dangerous and difficult task. That's not because I have a heart waiting to be sacrificed, or because I have the consciousness to give up everything for the sake of the world. Just because I suddenly couldn't take it...... I was so small, but I really had a child with Alice. ”

"So, you just ran away. So you're making Alice suffer. ”

Russell whispered, his voice like a melt in the wind, but clear and cold, like condensed ice: "So you let her abandon everything for you, and you let her suffer and die." ”

"That's ...... I was wrong. ”

Even though he couldn't see his eyes, his tone was full of low and suppressed pain: "I'm too stupid...... I'm a bastard.

"It was just an excuse for me to escape for a while, but Alice took it seriously. She encouraged me, but I was timid and wanted to back down...... She made sacrifices, gave up her identity and life in order to push me forward.

"I still have room for regret then. As long as I admit that all this is nothing more than my cowardice, it is my desire to 'fly away' and flee again.

“…… But I don't want her to look down on me. Although I know that she won't do it. ”

"Is it just, for the sake of face?"

"Of course not!"

The sheath denied without hesitation: "It's just that I realized that I can't stay where I am all the time."

"I can't be a person of nothingness, a person of boredom and uninteresting. So far, all I have had is a superficial desire, but I have met great people. They see me as a fellow believer, but I know it...... I'm just playing the role they want me to be. I talked to them about my ideals, but my heart was empty. The big words I said echoed in my heart with a humiliating echo.

"I play the role of someone who is as great as they are, but I know it's all false.

"I want some light from them. I almost went crazy thinking about it. Only calligraphy can comfort me and calm my heart again.

"I read the words of all the people I worshipped and wrote down their words with all my might. It's as if I said it myself. It will make me feel a moment of peace. Some people see me as a mentor, but I know ...... I'm just going to endorse it. For I know the forbidden histories, and steal their wisdom. Whenever someone adores me, I feel timid, weak, and miserable. I have dreamed countless times in my dreams that my friends have learned everything secretly, contemptuously calling me a thief. I dreamed that Alice was also disappointed in me and left me......

"And the last straw that weighed on me...... It's you. ”

The sheath took a slow breath.

The red lines in his eyes suddenly became brighter: "Since this life is as small as sand—

"Then let me die.

"It's too tiring for me to live. Everyone expects more from me, but I can't respond to everyone.

"The Pope has high hopes for me, the deer head thinks I am a pillar of the Tower of Babel, the children of the Nan family believe in me as a teacher, and Alice trusts me to change the world.

“…… But I really can't do anything. In their eyes, I am just a phantom created by me touting myself. It's the light that shines through me on the wall, turning into the shadow of a giant.

"Then it's better to have a great death. Do not spoil everyone's expectations...... It's about making everyone feel sorry when they think of my death—if only he were alive. ”

"You've accepted the most dangerous mission of the deer's head," Russell whispered, "but you don't want to accomplish it at all.

"You're actually trying to fail, right? You want to escape it all. ”

“…… However, the mission succeeded. ”

The sheath whispered, "I stole the Church's 'artificial angel' technology, as well as a memory of a saint...... Traveled to land.

"I found a mad mage. With his help, and his brutal modifications, I was able to avoid having to connect to the Sacred Texts server...... Because he transformed my brain into a cyborg, making my brain itself a local server......

"I have received the power of the Holy Rank of 'Anti-Electron' - the forbidden power that is not allowed to be obtained by the Church.

"Relying on its power, I will go in search of the dragon again. Because dragons are purely mechanical, they can be stopped and killed by the power of this holy order; And because of the power of the Holy Order, which is constantly activated and cannot be turned off, they will never see me or perceive my existence.

"Kill the dragons, or control them, or get their secrets...... That's my job. This is an effort to open the 'lock of the world'. ”

At this point, the sheath was silent for a moment.

"And I did......

"I slain a dragon. Got the secret she was keeping. ”

Speaking of this, the sheath tugged at the corners of his mouth and revealed a sneer that was almost invisible: "But I'd rather not know."

"At the end of the truth, there is despair. Like the history that I burned in the church......

"Don't look for it, Russell. I came here only to hear that you had joined the Tower of Babel, so I came to warn you...... Don't repeat my mistakes.

"Don't bear any fate, don't look for the truth, don't dream of saving the world. Don't try to open the lock...... The world has come to an end, and now it is only a suspended sentence before the death penalty is carried out. Now the probation is coming to an end. If you don't know anything, it's a little easier.

"Let's live with the people you like...... But don't have any more children. At least your generation will not see the Day of Destruction. The last, truly futile dying struggle, should be handed over to the real last generation. ”

“…… So be it. ”

The sheath sighed deeply and ended his speech.

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