Looking back on the past, it is unbearable to look back, even if there are all kinds of pride and ambition, only sighing.

Xu Feng, a young man of the new century, tall and tall, with a thin face and dark skin, although he is not very handsome, he has a very characteristic appearance, tall, with a straight nose, a masculine tenacity on his face, gloomy and deep eyes, always wearing an old and rotten suit, and a pair of unseemly leather shoes.

From the front, he looks like a thin old man, but from the back, he stands tall like a mountain.

"I don't dare to rest, because I don't have savings, I don't dare to shout tired, because I don't have achievements, I don't dare to be lazy, because I still have to live, I can give up the choice, but I can't choose to give up. This is the sentence that Xu Feng has said to himself the most over the years, and it is also his most thorough and explicit understanding of his life.

The reality of society, the helplessness of life, and the difficulty of survival always make his tall and thin body collapse again and again, and stubbornly stand up again and again to straighten his waist, God really likes to joke with him, no matter how hard he works, how serious he is in life, for more than 20 years, he has been struggling forever, and he has been working hard, but he can't go to the harbor of happiness.

Today he is back before liberation, destitute, very unexpectedly a fire burned his house clean, because of the chain reaction caused by a small cigarette butt in someone else's house, all these years have been in vain.

Maybe this is a human tragedy that happened to others, and it will form a fatal blow to their physical and psychological health, but Xu Feng breathed a deep sigh of relief, with a relieved look on his face, it has been a while since the last accident, and it is not normal to be comfortable for a while, and finally there is no need to live with nervous tension.

Unknown dangers are the most terrible and exhausting, and sooner or later they must be faced, so instead of being frightened and fearful, pray that the storm will come sooner.

Xu Feng is not a psychopath, let alone a masochist, he was urged by bad luck, since he was a child, he was like a lone star, he became an orphan early, he had to support himself with all kinds of hardships, and he could finally support himself, I wanted to be honest, do things steadfastly, and work hard for my future, after all, no one wants to live a stable and happy life.

No one wants to let their life be forever silent, and to watch their own wisdom, youth gradually die out in the ordinary life.

But always can't keep the dawn, and can't see the weaving of dreams, there is no impossible accident in him, he has been accustomed to all kinds of pits dug by God for him, although the sadness is very helpless, but now he is also unlucky very calm, this habit into a natural strange attitude to life can make him strong to face every day.

"I planted a seed and finally grew fruit, today is a great day, pick the stars and give them to you, drag down the moon and give it to you, let the sun rise for you every day, turn into a candle and burn itself just to illuminate you, give everything I have to you, as long as you are happy, you make me make every tomorrow meaningful, although life is short, love you will never leave, you are my little apple. Standing in the house that had been ravaged by the fire, the lonely and dull space was finally broken by the ringtone of Xu Feng's mobile phone.

Xu Feng took out his Samsung mobile phone from the inner pocket of his old and rotten suit, looked at Lili's name in the caller ID, and his heart, which was already unfazed, began to tremble.

I don't know what's going on, he has a hunch that something about to happen that stings the untouchable nerves in his heart is about to happen, although there is a guess in his heart, how many years have he not prayed to God, and now he hopes that God will be merciful for now, and he will leave a little bit of life thoughts for himself, not caring about suffering and torture is not something that he wants to protect, people are flesh and blood, and everyone's heart will have the need to be close to warmth.

Lili is Xu Feng's girlfriend, she has accompanied him through three years of hardship, although people are a little nagging, but a responsible person, the little girl has followed Xu Feng all these years, and she has stumbled, not to abandon and not to give up, she is the only thought in Xu Feng's life, because only girls who have nothing to ask for can be satisfied, this kind of too abnormal days, not everyone has the courage to continue, even if those are accidents.

"Hey, Lili, where have you been these days, I don't reply to your messages, I don't answer your calls, I really miss you, I'm a cheap person, in the face of endless accidents, no matter how enthusiastic the heart will lose confidence and hope in life, until you enter my life, it is you who have been supporting me, so that I have a heart that lives hard and goes up every day, because I want to give you a good life, I will always have a grateful and loving heart for you, I am really nervous about you, afraid of losing you, these days without your news, you will not know how tormented I am in my heart。 Although Xu Feng had a hunch in his heart that he and Lili might come to an end, he was afraid to answer the call, but he knew that he couldn't hide.

Some facts are indeed very cruel, almost no one wants to face them, whether it is to escape or to deceive themselves, the facts have happened, they exist, and it will be there, so Xu Feng connected the phone, and without waiting for Lili to speak, he couldn't wait to talk incoherently to the mobile phone to tell the truest cry in his heart, he was begging, and he was struggling again, yes, he hoped that Lili would pity himself and change his mind, he was sadly begging for his love.

"Feng, this is the last time I call you like this, let's break up, there is no reason and reason, if you insist on an explanation, that is, I will marry someone else in a few months, forgive me for my selfishness, I have always thought that I can, for the love in my heart can not care about anything, and even once I thought that I was very noble, very different, I can have no desire, I can be desperate, to pursue the love in the fairy tale, I underestimated the power of human instinct, they are greedy and selfish, it turns out that I am not exempt from vulgarity, no matter how sweet two people are together, they also want to live, I retreated, more afraid, I hope you will understand me, I've worked hard, I don't want to live like that anymore, in the end I'm also a mortal, although I don't want to be rich, but I also want to live a normal life, and I beg you to have mercy on me and let it go, I've reached the limit, and then live with you, I don't know if I'll become a neurotic, it turns out that too many women are not very demanding, they just want to have a stable home, maybe they were too willful before. On the other end of the phone, Lili said something sad but unusually calm.

The love between men and women is sometimes like a dream, maybe in the dream, for the love of men and women, grievances and hatred are entangled, but when I wake up from the dream, I understand that it is just a dream, and there may be a little heartache, but when I wake up, I won't care about paranoia, and Lili is also awake and enlightened.

They are two kinds of people living in different worlds, and they treat the past as a beautiful encounter, leaving it in an unreal dream forever.

Although he had already had a premonition in his heart about what was going to happen, when the premonition really became a fact, Xu Feng's extremely tough heart, which had already been exercised, also instantly felt colic, and the person had collapsed to the extreme.

He knew that from Lili's point of view, her choice was not wrong, Xu Feng had long expected that there would be such a day, because empathy, if he was Lili, he was sure that he would never be as good as Lili.

Xu Feng didn't blame Lili at all, in fact, it wasn't Lili who was selfish, because he knew in his heart that it was himself who was really selfish.

Xu Feng is a very smart and forbearant person, with a calm and sharp mind, he has seen clearly these years, God is deliberately unable to get along with himself, as long as he has a little relationship with himself, he will be punished, to put it bluntly, he is a pit that God puts in the world without flaunting, whoever touches it is unlucky.

In the past three years, I have watched Lili suffer and suffer with him, and he has hesitated, blamed himself even more, and every time he suffers between persistence and giving up, many times he wants to let go of his mind and soberly, but he is always intoxicated by the tenderness and sweetness, he enjoys that kind of warmth, after all, he really lacks care and love. No matter how many regrets and reluctance there are now, Xu Feng knows that everything should be over, after all, he owes Lili, if there is a miracle, and in the future, he is willing to use all of his own to compensate.

"Well, Lili, I respect your choice, and thank you for the three years of ups and downs, and finally come to this point, always I lose you, I won't blame you, for you, I will always have a grateful heart, because I know how many sins you have suffered with me, you have no regrets, I am really moved, everything should be over, I will pray for you, give you blessings, and find happiness as soon as possible." After a moment of silence, Xu Feng finally mustered up the courage to agree to Lili's request to break up, and after finishing speaking, he hung up the phone very decisively, he owed this girl too much, Mu was already in the boat, he couldn't continue to drag this kind girl vaguely in his mother-in-law.

Really, many times the wise letting go is also a kind of love, it is silent, but it is far more real than those gorgeous and empty words of the mountain alliance and sea oath, this is not a kind of cowardice, after all, when the manpower is exhausted, if the bitter obsession, just in exchange for mutual harm to each other, it is far better to withdraw silently and wait quietly in the bottom of my heart.

Xu Feng's heart was very painful, and he felt a feeling of suffocation.

After hanging up Lili's phone, Xu Feng was already in tears, he had tried very hard to control himself not to be sad, and even told himself not to cry as a man.

Xu Feng vigorously wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes with his own hands, but the tears were wiped more and more.

How much tenderness and reluctance are contained in this simple action, understanding and sadness have sublimated the pain, speechlessness and silence reign in this space, and finally he completely collapsed, collapsed to the ground without any scruples, and cried, he needs to vent, he wants to turn all his grievances into tears, all of them have been suppressed in his heart for too long, taking advantage of this catharsis, he wants to drain the tears at one time, not only girls will be hysterical, when the load of men far exceeds his capacity, the explosion is even more terrible and sad。

Xu Feng's love came so suddenly, too perfect, and went so helplessly, too sad, the unforgettable experience was once intoxicated and crazy about it, but now it is painful for the sweet memories of happiness, unable to extricate himself, all the persistence is meaningless, Xu Feng has lost the direction of survival in the future, is it all over, those common once just pranks that belong to God?