Originally, I wanted to start with "I built the Futu Pagoda of seven lives and seven generations, and it took only two years to meet and accompany each other!", but I gave up after just one time in my head, as I said, it's too sour!

Where should there be so many sighs when people are living, when they are supposed to stop and go, and stumble? Look at them in your eyes, keep them in your heart, there will always be those who will not, and you will die desperately, but you just flutter past in front of your eyes.

I remember when I was a senior in college, I thought to myself, when I am twenty-four or five, I will go on a two-month trip to see if the outside world is really so dark, or full of indifference, and the magic of nature, will it make me sigh majestic!

But in fact, I really don't have that kind of courage yet!

With a salary of 3,000 yuan a month, what is the basis for my ambition?

Ambition, which cannot be said empty, requires a lot of accumulation, and even the favor of fate!

But, as I once wrote on the cover of my book, "I don't want to be engraved with ordinary words on my tombstone after I die, until I am buried in blue or dirt!"

When I came to Qingdao, I didn't do much else, but I talked too much with all kinds of people, drank more than a dozen catties of wine, got drunk, and scolded a few words.

When I chose to write an article, I wanted to be known by some people here, there was once a Mu Hu, who wrote a fairly past article,

But since the choice was uploaded at the starting point and signed, the money became part of the chase!

The book opened on May 16, and it has been going through two months, and the number of words of 430,000 words is a world built by another me.

I have enough confidence and courage to do things I dare not do in that world, but it is illusory after all, there are no awards in the essay competition, and I don't know when my extravagant hopes will be broken, but I have long said that I really want to get something, to get a little recognition, to get the approval of the people I care about.

But in reality?

The result of the competition is extravagant, and even these expectations have become extravagant expectations!

I've talked to a lot of people about online articles, but I really haven't even one of them said, "You go and write, I support you!", and I got basically nothing else except sneering and hot wind again and again.

I came to Qingdao and had a fight with my dad, I bit my arm, basically I saw blood, it took nearly twenty days to fade the scar, my girlfriend of two years, said I was unproductive, and then broke up, grandpa called and said, you have to stick to work over there, you can't give up, I look at so many red rashes on my arm, I can only say, "I know grandpa!"

What is youth?

I always thought that youth was debauchery and uninhibited, but at some point, I felt that youth was just an illusion, and my so-called youth did not exist at all.

You don't have the right to ask others to do anything, your right is only what you should do, if you don't want to be in such a world, then get out of this world as soon as possible.

During this period of time, I will write and read books quietly, and I will no longer affect myself for so many things.

I will write a world, and I will get a world, this is my ambition now!