In the days that followed, I lost the enthusiasm I had had when I first entered the church, and I began to waste my cheap youth, like most people around me, and to go through the glorious days that were not worth mentioning, with the light in my eyes passing away, and without the slightest interest in all that seemed good, and I changed, at a speed that was visible to the naked eye.

When people are idle, they will always think about something, taste life, and think about the future. If there is no accident in my future, I will continue as my mother expects, spend my three years of high school career in peace, and then go to college, if I don't work hard, I will go to junior college, and if I can, I may go to college. I heard a saying very early on, if you study hard, you will be offered by smashing pots and selling iron at home. At that time, I was thinking, I was just going to school, is it necessary to smash the pot and sell iron, until that day, I realized that it might be necessary.

Most of the family's financial resources are pressed on the shoulders of the father, although the mother also does odd jobs every now and then, but for a rural family to bear the expenses of two college students is not an easy thing, not surprisingly, in the next five to seven years, the family will put most of their savings into the matter of hoping for Jackie Chan, the quality of life will not be improved, as always. As always, I am reluctant, as always, I search. I'm wondering if this kind of life is really what I want to see?

Can I be sure that I can become a winner in life after a few years of studying? Am I sure it won't be an ordinary mass in the sea of people? Is my Ye Fan so good?

If according to my mother's conjecture, I will most likely find a relatively stable job after graduation, there will be a stable income, I should meet a suitable person to form a family, life is not well-off, but barely able to get by, this kind of life that can be seen at a glance is actually very good, but it is really not what I want.

At least in the next few years, I don't want my mother to experience similar humiliation incidents, I don't want her to be so embarrassed for a few thousand yuan, I want to change the original trajectory of my life, the future may not be decent, but now I want to give it a try, it's just a little lower starting point, anyway, it's all gambling, it doesn't matter how many chips there are.

Two weeks later, on my day off, I started my own program. First of all, I had to get an ID card, because I was not yet 18 years old at that time, and I didn't have a unified application for documents, so I didn't have a legal certificate of my own. I first went to the town to ask the staff about the materials needed to apply for an ID card, and then went home to steal the household registration book according to the instructions, and told my mother that my classmate had a birthday and went to the county household registration office. It was the first time something was done in a planned way, and it was done seamlessly. Until the moment I managed to escape, no one knew that I was already a person with an ID.

I still need money, a perfect prison break without money is absolutely impossible, the only chance is when the school starts after the year, at that time, in addition to two weeks of living expenses, I will have enough books to run away on my own, and I only need to maintain the status quo of my unintentional study during the waiting period. Fortunately, it won't take long, and the time to wait for the ID card to be in place is only a little more than a month, and fortunately you can still have a full year.

The days when I decided to leave there were not as painful as I imagined, and the comfortable campus life was quite comfortable. I didn't show how reluctant I was, the grass and trees around me didn't make me much attached after more than a year of getting along, I seem to be a person with little affection, those buddies who seem to have a good relationship on weekdays don't seem to be so important at that moment, they are more like passers-by in my life, but they really exist for a period of time at a specific time, if there must be someone who needs special care, just give it to Lin Chuxue. Although I haven't gotten it, I still feel like I'm going to lose it, which is a bit of a pity, but it doesn't seem to be a pity.

In the last few days, I often appeared outside the door of their studio, and her painting skills had risen to a level that I could no longer comment on at will, and I had no culture, so I could only make a, awesome comment like most of the people around me. We are already destined to be two people in parallel worlds from a certain moment. Everyone will drift apart in their own plans. At the time of parting, I still disturbed her for a while, and appeared in the seat not far from her in their class during the free time after the third class in the afternoon.

There weren't many people in their class, and many of them who studied art didn't seem to be able to sit still, or they were concentrating on cultivation in the studio upstairs, but in short, the classroom, which was not crowded, was particularly deserted. She was an exception to the exception a lot of the time, always sitting there quietly by herself, and the many times I passed by, I could only see her lonely back.

"What are you doing here?"

"I used to be in the homeroom teacher's classroom, so I came to have a look."

“......”

"Can't you?"

"Whatever you want."

For the next few days, I would show up there on time, open a novel by the classmate in the seat with great interest, but that classmate was my former classmate, and he knew about my unique hobby, so he didn't say anything. During this period, some familiar people noticed my presence and stopped disturbing me when they saw that I was enriching myself. She was always there, too, alone, quietly. We were each busy with our own business, trying not to disturb each other as much as we did when we first met, and I really wanted to go on quietly and so on.

It was a very boring year, my mother stuffed a hundred dollars under the pillow on the night of the Chinese New Year's Eve as usual, my father told me to continue to study hard in the coming year, my sister listened to the adults like an obedient child, and I went to the village to find my friends to continue the boys' game as usual, the dog barked as usual, the lights were turned on as usual, and everyone did as usual as each other, not noticing the eve of the storm.

On the way to school, my mother told us to put money in our inner pockets, for fear that one of us on the road would not pay attention to the side of the road or be remembered by someone with a heart. At that moment, she didn't know the fact that their family would not lose money that day, but they would lose people. In order to stagger the time with my sister, I deliberately wanted to catch the bus in advance, and the study-related things in my bag had already been placed in an inconspicuous corner of the house, in addition to less than 1,000 yuan in cash in the inner pocket of my clothes, I also had an ID card and a train ticket bought in advance, and the destination was our local provincial capital, where my father worked hard for a few years when he was young, and it was only about two hours' drive from my house, so I chose to run there.

"Mom, I'm leaving."

"It's atmospheric today, go ahead."

The departure time was at three o'clock in the afternoon, no late, except for me, the people at the station carried a lot of things in large bags, fortunately I didn't meet someone I knew at the departure place of the train, the mask prepared in advance in the pants pocket did not have a chance to use, I enjoyed the scenery along the way like a person who had never seen the world, the first time I went to a foreign land without the guidance of my parents, a little nervous, but it was not a big problem.

At five o'clock, the car arrived at the station, the first time I went out alone, I didn't know how to find a way out, there were adults before, as a child do not need to pay attention to those. It is always not wrong to follow the crowd, in order to avoid anyone worrying about me deliberately following behind a lone uncle about forty years old, his hand tightly guarded the pocket containing a huge amount of money, at that time there were a lot of pickpockets at the train station, for fear of being targeted, that is my capital to settle down. When I walked out of the station with the pushing crowd, there were a lot of people rushing up, including black car drivers soliciting customers, women in the hotel business, and some strangers who did not know what purpose deliberately flocked to the crowd, all of whom were quite enthusiastic, for fear of missing out on the business in front of them, including my "father", and I did not separate from him until the crowd sparsed.

I looked at the strange city and stopped, knowing nothing but that it was called Taiyuan.