During my years in Taiyuan, I tried to get involved in many industries and did everything, but I didn't seem to do anything. A lot of times I wonder if I was wrong in the first place. Wouldn't it have been better if I had been doing the same thing from the beginning? If I had taken root in the industry I was familiar with from the beginning, and with the growth of experience, my salary should not be very low; The longer I have been in my original position, the more obvious the advantages will be, and maybe I will have the opportunity to become the leader of a group; Or I can rely on the resources and contacts I have accumulated over the past few years to expand my channels and career; Either way, I can at least build up a decent savings in a few years' time. Just when I doubted myself, I saw this sentence: "As long as the rich don't mess around, they are still rich, and the poor don't mess around, they will be poor all their lives." "So even if I was given another chance to choose, I might still choose the latter, maybe that unstable life would last for a few years, maybe I would still end up with nothing, but I always believed that in an uncertain life, only a few attempts will lead to more results, and I can fail a hundred times, even if it is enough to win once.

Later, I thought about what went wrong, I thought that I was working hard enough, more willing to endure hardships than anyone around me, had ideas, and dared to think and dare to do, even if I was unlucky, I would be diligent and able to make up for it, but the final result was not so satisfactory, until the passion in my mind dissipated, I realized that many things are not just hard work, the direction is wrong, everything is in vain. In an industry that knows nothing, it is very likely that the lack of cognition will take many detours, and people will never make money beyond the scope of their cognition.

The first thing I engaged in was beyond my own cognition was the stall industry, at that time there was not much money, and there were a lot of young people who saw roadside stalls to start a business, and there was no threshold, so I joined them without hesitation, after some comparison, the mobile phone film became the direction I chose at the time, the cost is not high, you can open a small table, and the daily income is also considerable, and then in order to increase some income, some other categories have been added on the basis of the film, mobile phone holders, power banks, mobile phone cases and other mobile phone peripheral goods. With the increase of saleable goods, the original suitcase space is not enough, carrying two large boxes of goods every day has become a burden, running away has also become a problem, after being confiscated twice by the city management, I ended the attempt, a few months of running down except for a part of the inventory of goods, nothing to gain, not a loss, but not much fun.

Later, I also pushed the POS machine and sold health porridge at the intersection in the early morning, although the time was not long, but I also really experienced it. The longest of those immature attempts is to do a period of time to sell fruit business, in the community around a morning market rented a small stall, every morning at three or four o'clock in the morning to drive a five-hand van to the fruit wholesale market to buy goods and then back to the market to sell to earn part of the difference, after a long time to find that the same goods around the vendors can always sell lower prices, after a little understanding to understand the doorway, just eight words, shoddy, short of two catties.

I don't seem to be suitable to be a black-hearted businessman, there is always an inexplicable sense of guilt, looking at the people around me at the age of my parents, I suddenly have a different idea from before, which is more important, choice and hard work, I am sure to do something in my twenties that can be done after the age of forty? Do a career that can be seen at a glance? After all, I am only in my twenties, after all, I will never be younger than today, after all, I also want poetry and distance.

After thinking about it for a long time, I ended that pointless insistence. It seems much easier to give up than to persevere, and my years have been spent almost constantly giving up.

Every time I spend almost the most money on my body or don't think about what to do next, I will go back to work in the car painting industry for a period of time, just like my mother said, when I use it, I realize that there is a skill that I can't take away, only the industry with me. Unlike when I was an apprentice, I didn't have to work overtime a lot of nights in Taiyuan, and I had more opportunities to walk around, and in those four years I almost walked through the corners of the city, the bustling, the quiet, the streets or corners, and one day I might take a random bus and ride it through all over the place until the last stop; Or show up in the bustling commercial center of that city for no reason, and stay until the last second of the night; I would habitually look up and look at the various people coming and going, and unfortunately, none of the people I met were her.

One day, I saw a person who looked very much like her, especially the back, especially the similarity. She rode by my side, I followed her for a long time, although I knew that the person was not her, and confirmed it more than once, but I did it, and now I think about it, I was probably sick at that time, and the kind that medical instruments can't detect.

In those years, she didn't take the initiative to contact me once, and I didn't try to find her, it was really like two people in parallel worlds, each living in their own lives, without any contact. She had no feelings for me, and it was obvious that the adult world was simpler, and no answer was the best answer. I've never been a fan of stalking, and even if I have an infinite desire, I can keep my passion in check. The best state of a relationship is still decent, and a relationship is more meaningful to go both ways, I seem to be expecting something, and I seem to be giving up something, this is a true portrayal of me during that time.

She should be in love, in her best golden years, there should be no shortage of those excellent suitors around, I told myself this ironclad fact more than once, there are many times, I have thought about whether or not to wait, the result is already so obvious, there is no point in persevering, it is better to open yourself, try to accept the dawn that belongs to you, but whenever you try to accept another soul who is also lonely, you will always unconsciously take a step back, when there is a person in your heart, it is really difficult to accept another as if nothing happened, I needed a reason to give up on her, and the reason for giving up shouldn't be at least that kind of skeptical uncertainty. Soon after, the reason for giving up came naturally.