Chapter 4: Suffering
"Grandpa, why haven't you told me these things before?" Fei'er listened to it clearly, and Grandpa was very excited, when Grandpa talked about his parents, Fei'er began to be nervous, and then the pain, he clenched his little fist again and again, and finally, the tears couldn't stop flowing down, and it seemed that there would never be a time to dry up. He never knew the appearance of his parents, and his peers in the village laughed at him, and even were abused and beaten by children of the same age. For this reason, he finally chose to escape, and has been hiding from all the bullies who have bullied him, he has chosen to be lonely, he is used to being alone, he does not play with any children, even if sometimes they pass by his house, he will immediately hide his shadow, and he lives with his grandfather in this way. He asked his grandfather more than once, asking him if he had a mother, but his grandfather never said, just said that he would tell him when he grew up, at that moment, he was dreaming of growing, constantly growing, in the dream, he had grown taller than the old locust tree behind the stone house, but the dream still echoed Grandpa's words: "When you grow up, grandpa will tell you!" And now, he finally knows that he has a mother like other children, and his father is still a great general, the most powerful general in the Northern Frontier country. He really has a father, and he has many relatives, but when he knew it, it was like this, they were all dead, why was this the case? Why didn't he have anything? And the other children in the village had everything? This was more painful for him than if he didn't know the truth.
"Xiaofei, you have to understand grandpa, you used to be very young, grandpa was afraid of affecting your growth, but now you are gradually growing up. Also, grandpa is ready to send you to learn magic, and before you leave, I will tell you everything you don't know. Now, what you want to know, what you ask, as long as grandpa knows, grandpa will tell you. You're leaving............ Maybe grandpa and I, it will take many years to see you, maybe............ Maybe grandpa, if you can't wait for you to come back, you'll ............ Alas, Grandpa, I'm very old. At the end of Grandpa's words, he was already a little choked, turned his head and sighed to Fei'er.
"You want to send me away? Why? I don't leave! I don't have anything, I don't have a mother, I don't have a father, why doesn't my grandfather want me now? I don't want to learn magic, I don't want to learn anything, I just want to be by my grandfather's side all the time. If I don't leave, grandpa won't drive me away. After listening to her grandfather's words, Fei'er kept shaking her head, her eyes were confused, and she threw herself into her grandfather's arms and cried.
He really didn't want to leave his grandfather, why didn't he want me when he knew everything? If it was because of this, he would rather not know anything and stay with his grandfather all the time. Why did you leave your grandfather when you knew everything, where were you going to be sent? What kind of place was that?
"The magic that grandpa can teach you is all superficial, just the most basic cultivation foundation, more and more powerful magic skills still have to go to the school system to learn, and this is your father's last wish, but also my responsibility as a grandfather, you stay by my side, you can say that you can't learn, let alone avenge your parents, you are your father's only son, the last seedling of our entire family, the last hope for our clan's reproduction, your mother's revenge? Didn't you always chase me and ask me if you had a mother, who your mother was, and what she looked like? Didn't you always cry and ask grandpa why other children had mothers and you didn't? In the same way, how many times have you asked grandpa? Now, grandpa has told you, what? Don't you dare to bear this hatred? Are you afraid? Don't you want to be powerful and protect grandpa? Don't you really want to avenge your dead parents and dead clansmen?" Grandpa's questioning was extremely fierce.
"Grandpa, no, grandpa............ Grandpa, grandchildren don't leave grandpa. Fei'er cried and shouted.
Grandpa kept asking, Xiao Fei only kept crying, his tears flowed, more turbulent than the river in front of the door, the pain in his heart, how to let go of these tears, no matter how tight his fist is, even if the nail pierces the palm? Now, he is going to leave his grandfather, this is what he has been most afraid of since he was a child, if he is used to not having a mother, getting used to not having a father, but he must not leave his grandfather, he can't live without his grandfather.
Grandpa looked at Fei'er who was in pain at this time, how could he be indifferent, how could he not be distressed, and how could he bear to let his grandson go away. He stroked Xiaofei's head, and the tears in his old eyes were also flowing out. He muttered: "You lost your mother when you were less than a year old, and after a year old, your father was seriously injured in the battle at Wangbeimen, which was your father in order to rescue your mother and you who were besieged, and was injured by a sneak attack, and the disease was incurable, after all, he left you again soon after, grandpa and I, and I am a rough person who can't educate children." So your surname has been very withdrawn since you were a child, you like to be lonely, you like the night, you don't like to play with other children, and your grandfather also knows that this is because they bullied you and didn't have a mother, so that you have a lonely and unsociable heart. Of course, this is all grandpa's fault, not able to protect you, let you play happily, not able to give you a happy childhood, this is cruel to you. Grandpa always hopes that you can devote yourself to practicing magic, and Grandpa will practice magic with you whenever he is free! Grandpa is not good............ It's grandpa who is not good ............."
"Grandpa, don't cry grandpa, it's Fei'er who is not good, it's grandchildren who are not filial, grandpa don't cry, it's not grandpa's fault, it's not grandpa that's bad! It's that I don't like to play with other children in the village, it's that I don't like it, it's not that grandpa is bad. Fei'er was still crying bitterly, stretching out her delicate hand to wipe away her grandfather's tears.
Grandpa doesn't cry, Fei'er must be strong, okay? We don't cry, okay? Grandpa knows that Fei'er is the most well-behaved, and more obedient than other people's children, we are poor, but you have never complained about grandpa, although you are only six years old now, in the eyes of grandpa, you are more sensible than other people in their twenties. You are my proudest grandson, grandpa's most obedient grandson. Grandpa has another thing to tell you, do you know? The potion that you soak your body every day is not a cure for diseases, in fact, your body is not sick, it is a stupid excuse that grandpa used to make you obedient, this kind of potion, which your father accidentally got when he was fighting, this kind of potion is very magical, but it is only useful for children, and you now feel more and more that there is no medicinal effect, because you are getting older and older, so the effect is getting weaker and weaker. ”