I told her not to contact me again, but I never deleted her WeChat and blocked her mobile phone number.

It's not that I don't have the courage to say goodbye to the past, but because of the video on the Internet in the past two days, I was very annoyed and forgot about it.

Unexpectedly, she called me again, and I didn't answer the phone until the ringtone was about to end.

"Hey, didn't I tell you not to contact me if it's okay?" I don't have a good tone.

"There's something, my parents already know that I'm divorced from you, they might call you, I just want to beg you not to tell them that I cheated on me and divorced, okay?"

I was stunned and replied with a smile, "Then how do we tell them?" ”

"You just say I don't like you, and that's what I told them."

"Okay! But you really have nothing to do in the future, call me, we all have to have a new life. ”

Yu Huan let out a faint "um", and asked me again: "By the way, Lu Ming, about the video on the Internet, I have seen that public opinion has begun to drop in the past two days, does it have a big impact on you?" ”

"What impact can it have? I'm not a celebrity, and when the turmoil passes, no one remembers. ”

"But it still affects you, right? Didn't your company target you in this matter? ”

"I'm not going to work anymore, okay, let's not talk about it, hang up!"

Before she could speak, I hung up.

Sure enough, not long after ending the call with Yu Huan, Yu Huan's mother called me.

Now that Yu Huan has made it clear to them, there is no need for me to hide it anymore, and I directly connected the phone.

"Hey, Mom."

Although I divorced Yu Huan, Yu Huan's mother has always been very good to me, and I was half a child, so I still called her Mom.

"You know I'm your mother, do you? Lu Ming, let me ask you, what's going on between you and Yu Huan? ”

"She, didn't she tell you everything?"

"I want to hear you, what the hell is going on? You've been together for so many years, do you say you're leaving? Yu Huan's mother looked very anxious.

I sighed softly and said, "Mom, there have been problems between me and Yu Huan for a long time, and many of our ideas are different and inappropriate. ”

"What's the difference? I think you're just! ”

I suddenly didn't know what to say.

In silence, Yu Huan's mother said sharply again: "Tell me honestly, is there someone outside you?" ”

I was a little speechless: "How is it possible! Mom, there is really no other reason, that is, Yu Huan and I don't love each other anymore, and we are separated peacefully. ”

"That's what Yu Huan's stinky girl did to be sorry for you! It's impossible for so many years, and I haven't encountered such a divorce if it's not suitable. ”

Yu Huan's mother is very smart, no wonder Yu Huan specially called me to talk to me.

Of course, I can't admit it, just to say that it's not for these reasons, it's just inappropriate, we always have a big quarrel for three days and a small quarrel for two days.

At this time, I heard Yu Huan's father say next to me: "Okay, what are you doing with him so much, if you want me to say it's good to leave, I should have left a long time ago, let's Huanhuan's conditions are not bad, just find someone who is a hundred times stronger than him Lu Ming." ”

Hearing this, I naturally felt uncomfortable, after all, it was his daughter who was sorry for me and still said that about me.

But I'm also used to it, Yu Huan's father has never taken a fancy to me, and has always felt that I am not worthy of Yu Huan, and now that I know that I have divorced Yu Huan, I guess he is the happiest.

Yu Huan's mother then said again: "What are you talking about? Did you say that about your son-in-law? Xiao Lu is not bad, and he is good enough for Huanhuan, why do you old man keep targeting Xiao Lu so much? ”

Yu Huan's father shot back again: "Son-in-law, they are all divorced, what son-in-law?" Don't talk nonsense. ”

……

I didn't listen to them anymore and ended the call in silence.

I didn't want to be disturbed anymore and just turned off my phone.

The sky was getting darker, and the street lights were coming on.

I kept looking at the window across the balcony and saw a couple, the man cleaning up the housework and the woman teaching the children homework.

It's just such a scene, but it stings me deeply.

I think of the years of marriage with Yu Huan, we have worked hard countless times, but we have never been able to have a child.

We once wondered if there was something wrong with our body, and we went to major hospitals more than once to check our chromosomes, but there was no problem.

So what's the problem?

Or is it that God already knew the final outcome of me and Yu Huan, so he didn't let us have a son and a half daughter.

In fact, at my age, I would like to have a child, at least one spiritual sustenance.

But at the age of 31, I still don't have a fixed place to live, and I don't even have a job.

I can only just look at the lights of thousands of homes outside the window to fulfill a person's loneliness.

Some people say that the most difficult state for a man is that he is worried about his parents in his eyes, his career in his head, a girl in his heart, and a distant place in his chest.

But in the end, I was disappointed by my parents, I let down the girl, and I couldn't see the distance.

That's pretty much what I'm in now.

The night gradually deepened.

Looking at the depths of the night sky, it is an impenetrable vastness, I am floating like a ghost in the vast time, some lost, some ignorant, and some unspeakable helplessness.

I stood up and looked out the window at the traffic coming and going on the road, feeling that the world was an endless wilderness, and my shadow and heart felt inexplicably lonely.

Slowly, the sky began to change with my mood. Raindrops began to fall.

I didn't dare to turn on my phone, so I had to turn on the TV and sit back on the couch, staring at the dazzling screen.

But gradually, boredom and loneliness made me unbearable, no matter how I changed the channel, the frustration was always locked in my heart, and I always felt that it was someone else's scenery, and the overwhelming splendor made me at a loss.

The night was completely silent, the street lamp outside the window was dimly lit through the balcony glass, and the room was eerily silent.

I was dazed, lying on the corner of the couch like a dead dog, falling asleep.

I had a dream that I had turned into a stray dog.

But in my dreams, I still retain human thoughts and memories, and I took a large group of dogs and formed a gang.

I became the dog king of this gang, biting anyone I didn't get used to.

In the end, I was subdued by humans, and despite my human mind, I was just a dog after all!

I don't know why I had such a strange dream, probably in real life, and my situation is probably like this.

Suddenly, I seemed to understand the last scene of "Journey to the West: The Great Sage Marrying".

The Sunset Warrior and the Zixia Fairy stood on the castle tower, and the Sunset Warrior looked at Sun Wukong's back and said, "He looks like a dog!" ”

This is a kind of self-deprecation, expressing the Supreme Treasure or Sun Wukong, who is dissatisfied with the state of existence, and lives as if he is a dog.

This is also a man's pathos and helplessness.