Some mothers are afraid that after giving birth to their children, they will not give enough love; Some mothers treat their children as if they were dragging oil bottles and are quick to dump them.

I'm the one who was dumped.

My mother divorced my dad in six months of pregnancy, and I heard my grandma say that it was because my dad was a gambler, and he went out to fool around while my mom was pregnant, and my mom blocked him and the mistress on the bed, poured a basin of water, and made them have no clothes to wear, and finally the whole village knew about it.

She didn't want me, but the doctor said that the month was too big and it would be dangerous for pregnant women to have an abortion, so it was not recommended. Grandma also tried her best to stop it, the old man believed in Buddhism, saying that my mother and my father had already committed sins, and they must not kill again, not to mention that they were still killed by their own flesh and blood.

So my mother gave birth to me reluctantly, and after the confinement was still in the cold winter, I went to the city to find a way.

I grew up with my grandmother fed milk powder and paste, and the doll that was still fleshy when I was born grew up the thinner and yellower, as if it had shrunk. Because of malnutrition, I once had a yellow hair when I was a child, and the old people in the village called me a yellow hair girl, and I was very panicked in my heart, for fear that I would have a yellow hair that was different from others for a lifetime. Grandma told me that it didn't matter, I was not a foreigner with blonde hair, and I could always grow black hair, and sure enough, grandma didn't lie to me.

In kindergarten, as long as I quarrel with my children, in the end I must be criticized and asked to apologize, the teacher knows that I have only one elderly grandmother in charge of me, even if I sue the family, in the face of a confused old man compared to the face of another large group of aggressive parents, which is more effortless and obvious. So she criticized me without any burden. Are small children stupid? No, they were very smart, and they figured out my weakness from the teacher's attitude. As a result, more unscrupulous bullying followed, after all, bullying a child who has no backer and the teacher ignores him is no different from bullying a doll who can't speak. The only difference is that bullying people of the same age stimulates more fun and fulfillment in them.

I remember that whenever I cried home, my grandmother always bent her back and took my hand to the street to buy a string of sugar gourds wrapped in thick sugar coating for me to eat, saying, "Pity, let's stop crying, we won't be bitter if we eat sweet." ”

The situation didn't get better until the third grade of elementary school, because from the third grade I always got the first grade in my grade, and the teachers favored the children who studied well, and from then on I found a way to protect myself.

Girls usually menstruate when they are thirteen or fourteen years old, but I had my first period when I graduated from junior high school. After the high school entrance examination, I will be divided at home, and I don't need to go to school anymore. I peeled the reeds for the curtain factory in our village, and my stomach hurt from the cool morning to the middle of the scorching sun. I just thought it was a stomach trouble, and hurriedly stripped the reed mounds that the two of them could hug together, and when I stood up to receive the ten yuan payment, I was pulled by the aunt next to me, telling me that there was blood on my pants. I touched my buttocks, thinking it was cut by a reed, until my aunt asked me why I didn't have anything to pad. I had seen things to use at school, and my tablemate sometimes mysteriously took something called a sanitary napkin to the toilet, and she always complained to me that her stomach hurt so much that she couldn't listen to the class, but I didn't have such troubles at that time. However, from this day onwards.

Half a month later, the results of the high school entrance examination came out, and it was no problem for my grades to enter a key middle school, but the tuition fee made my grandmother sigh for a while. I told my grandmother that the town high school had called me, and that I would go to the town high school not only for free, but also give me a bonus of 50,000 yuan. 50,000 yuan, in my opinion, this is a huge amount of money, with this money not only to solve the living expenses of high school for three years, but also to allow grandma not to have to peel the reeds in the sun every day. That's good, too.

It's just that I didn't expect her to come back.

Just when I decided to go to school in the town, my mother, who had been ignoring me for 15 years, came back.

The milky white printed cheongsam perfectly outlines her swaying figure, her fair skin seems to glow in the sun, and the face with delicate makeup makes me extremely unfamiliar, delicate and beautiful, but I can't feel the closeness that my mother should have.

Grandma was happy about her arrival, and she grabbed her daughter's hand with tears in her eyes, and muttered "You're back, you're back." I watched my grandmother's cracked, rough bones and joints seriously deformed, muddy hands, firmly grasping the white and tender hands, and when the silent count reached three, the tender hands were pulled out without hesitation.

"I will take Zheng Lian to live in the city, and I will also find you a nursing home with a good environment, so you don't have to live in this old house in the future."

I saw her rubbing her hands as she said this, as if trying to wipe something off.

Grandma was very happy, turned around and wanted to pack her things, but was reprimanded by Zheng Xiaowan and ordered not to bring anything here, and even turned her head to look at my gray clothes with disgust.

Yes, after 15 years, my mother's first look was not me as a person, but my shabby clothes.

Grandma was taken directly to the nursing home, looking at the towering high-rise buildings, the floor tiles that can be used as mirrors, grandma smiled from ear to ear, saying that she never dreamed that she would be able to live in such a beautiful house in her life.

Then my mother held her head high and took me to get a haircut and buy clothes without saying a word, and I think she actually wanted to throw me into the bath and wash away my shabby smell completely.

By the time it was ready, it was approaching evening.

"I'll take you to two people in a moment, one is my current husband and the other is his son. When the time comes, pay attention to politeness and don't look uneducated. ”

It's funny that a child who has not been raised by his parents since he was a child is required to be educated on the first day he meets his own mother. I received 12 years of schooling, and I was loved by my grandmother for 15 years, and it was not that I was uneducated as she feared.

"Hmm."

"You don't have anything else to say to me?" She questioned me with a delicate frown.

"What do you want to hear?"

Only now did she realize that perhaps the daughter in front of her was not a well-behaved doll, but an independent-minded person.

"Hmph, I gave birth to you, shouldn't you call me Mom?"

In this respect, yes, so I called Mom from a good start.

She glanced at me with a slight smile and led me to my new home.

The driver put us in front of a two-storey villa, the fence around the villa was full of red and pink roses, and the petite bright flowers were dotted among the green leaves.

At this time, a tall man with a handsome face opened the door and greeted him, and he smiled and said, "Wan'er." ”

"Zhigang!"

Listening to two people calling each other gave me goosebumps.

She pulled me up to the man, took me by the arm and said, "This is my daughter, Zheng Lian." ”

I lowered my head and heard the man say, "Pity, we will live together from now on, this is your home." You can call me Uncle Zhao. ”

"Hello Uncle Zhao!"

The man smiled heartily and walked in with Zheng Xiaowan's shoulder, and I put away the smile on the corner of my mouth and followed.

Entering the door, Zhao Zhigang shouted into the kitchen: "Mother Sun, it's time to eat." ”

Zheng Xiaowan asked strangely: "Don't you have to wait for Jiayu?" ”

"Jiayu went to see his grandmother, he won't come back today, let's eat first."

"Oh."

Zheng Xiaowan's tone was a little low, as if she was really regretting that the person named Jiayu didn't come.

However, I don't know if she thinks so in her heart, after all, I don't know the mother in front of me at all.

So I was brought to this new home, they prepared a separate bedroom for me, facing the new and gorgeous furniture and a few dolls at the head of the bed, I liked it for a moment, but I don't know why then my heart was empty, and my mind slipped through the old house where I had lived for fifteen years. The old house is old and old, and there is nothing but an earthen kang and a square table for eating, what do I have to miss? That's right...... There was a grandmother there, but now she is not there. I sat at the foot of the bed, feeling a thick white fog around me, I couldn't see what was in front of me, I knew very well that none of these things were mine, and that one day I would leave here, maybe a year, maybe two years.

So where can I go after I leave?

I clutched my bag tightly in my hand, confused and unable to find a way out. I thought maybe I would get into a good university, find a good job in the future, and when I could support myself and my grandmother, I would be able to have my own home again.

For more than a month here, I stayed in my room on the second floor every day to read books, except for eating. That man sometimes goes out for a week, and there is a nanny in this house to cook and clean, Zheng Xiaowan only needs to dress herself up beautifully and guard the house. I am happy to be clean when I eat, but even when I eat with Zheng Xiaowan, I will inevitably listen to her nagging, as if she will suffocate to death if she doesn't seize this opportunity to speak.

"You don't go downstairs at all, what are you doing?"

"Read a book."

I knew from my grandmother that this elder brother in the family had finished his first year of high school, and I carefully tested if I could read the books of the first year of high school, and repeatedly promised to take good care of him. Sun Ma smiled and said that she called Zhao Jiayu to ask, but fortunately, when she called, she didn't say that I wanted to read it, but only said that someone wanted to borrow books to preview the knowledge of the first year of high school. I stood by the phone and clenched my hands nervously, and when my grandmother put down the phone with a smile and nodded to me, I jumped up happily and hugged her. She was also very happy and took me to the storage room to look for the book, and my grandmother said that when I held the book, there was finally life in my eyes. She was the first person who really cared about my emotions and I said thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I grabbed the rice from my bowl and wanted to finish it quickly and go upstairs.

"Can you eat a little bit, it's like a girl's house!"

People have to bow their heads under the eaves, eat other people's short mouths, and take other people's soft hands. I slowed down my meal and chewed slowly.

Zheng Xiaowan seemed to be a little more angry, "Your Uncle Zhao has already completed the admission procedures for you in the city No. 1 Middle School." Remember to thank people when you see him! ”

"Hmm."

I didn't have to go to town for the 50,000 yuan, and I was happy to eat a few more bites of meat.

"Where do you say you've eaten every day? Is it 1.6 meters tall? ”

"One meter sixty-one."

"Hey, your dad is 1.8 meters tall, and I am 1.65 meters tall, why are you so short!"

I haven't seen my dad, I still don't know if my dad is still alive, how do I know why I'm so short?!

"I'm full." I picked up the dishes and chopsticks, walked to the kitchen, and brushed my own dishes and chopsticks again when my grandmother stopped me.

I used to do this work in my old home, and I didn't want to trouble this old man.

When I walked to the top of the stairs, Zheng Xiaowan stood up, "I haven't finished my words yet, who let you go!" ”

I stood there and turned around, expressionless, and said, "Is there anything else?" ”

"What kind of attitude do you have, I brought you here, you eat, drink and dress well, and you still treat me all day long with a nose that is not a nose and a face, you white-eyed wolf!"

I think Zhao Zhigang must not know that Zheng Xiaowan still has such a pungent side, because she is always delicate and charming in front of him.

I turned myself into a wooden stick and stood there, my left ear going in and out of my right ear to her words, thinking that I would go to the nursing home to see my grandmother before school started.

Zheng Xiaowan saw that I was obediently being trained, and her heart was happy, and she was merciful and let me go back to the room.

After a while, my grandmother brought me a plate of cut watermelon upstairs, she was almost fifty years old and had worked in the Zhao family for most of her life.

She said that she had been working as a nanny here since the previous hostess was still there, and she advised me not to take Zheng Xiaowan's words to heart just now, and try to follow Zheng Xiaowan's words in the future, don't be so stubborn.

Hearing her say that I was stubborn, I couldn't help laughing, but my eyes fogged when I laughed. Grandma always said that I was stubborn, saying that I was stubborn and stubborn with my arrogant mother, and I had a big idea. Looking at the wrinkles in the corners of my grandmother's eyes and the kind smile, I thought of my grandmother again.

I didn't get a chance to see my grandmother for a month here, so I tried to mention it to Zheng Xiaowan once, but she refused.