When you are in the dark, it is pitch black as far as the eye can see, just as when you are immersed in grief, then all the joy has nothing to do with you.

Whenever I think of the future, for some reason, my heart is always full of melancholy and dazedness, and I can't see the light of hope.

It's just that in the past, there were people who showed me the way forward when I was at a crossroads, but now, I am alone at the intersection where I don't know where to go.

He Xiaoyang, you said that you have been single for more than 20 years and are about to get married, so you just left, are you willing? Yes? If you are not reconciled, open your eyes and stand up!

I stood in front of the hospital bed, how I wished he could suddenly lift the sheet covering his body now, and then said cheaply: On a hot day, he still wrapped me so tightly, I really want to die soon?

Time passed by the clock, and I never got any answer, and I thought it was time for me to accept reality.

The summer days are always so changeable, like a baby's face, moody and cloudy.

I leaned against the big tree in front of the hospital, looked up at the sunset gradually setting in the sky, the light red glow shone on my face through the branches, I lit a cigarette and put it to my mouth, the smoke emitted by the tobacco was like a white cloud drifting away from my eyes.

"After He Xiaoyang's body is cremated, his parents will take him back to his hometown for burial, what are your plans?" , Xue Ruoya appeared behind me for a long time before she spoke.

I was silent, not knowing what to say.

"You haven't eaten for almost a day, so let's eat first"

"It's okay, I'm not hungry, you go first"

It is only now that I suddenly realize that those who once complained about boring life may be a person's most precious treasure, without ups and downs, without grandeur, without thrills, without joys and sorrows.

However, people always wait until they lose to know how to cherish, until they reach an irretrievable situation to know that regret should not be in the first place, and I also did not understand until now how stupid it is to be busy now and have the opportunity to excuse yourself in the future.

I walked aimlessly on the street, watching the people on the street, everyone was going out early and returning late for a living, constantly running, I don't know if they have also experienced joys and sorrows, I don't know if they know how to cherish the life in front of them, I think, some of them will be like me, complaining that life is too boring, I can't figure out what life is for.

The last bit of sunlight disappeared into the night, the roadside lights were lit one after another, and the summer night breeze was always mixed with heat waves in the coolness.

I walked into a quiet alley, the road was very long, this was a very old residential area, there were few vehicles, not many pedestrians, the occasional electric car speeding past me, the fence next to the road was crawling with green vines, the breeze blowing, with a little floral fragrance.

As I walked forward, I suddenly heard a quarrel in front of me, breaking the silence of the alley, and then figures gradually appeared under the street lamp, gathering more and more, and the sound of the quarrel became more and more intense.

I tried to turn away, but I didn't know where to go, so I kept walking.

"You touched your conscience and said, when you were hospitalized, did we serve you food and drink, after being busy, your conscience is now eaten by a dog, give this room to your little girl"

I followed the sound and saw a slightly chubby middle-aged woman pointing at the white-haired old man in front of me and accusing angrily.

"We are all your daughters, you said that you changed the name of the real estate certificate without giving us a few discussions, what do you think", another woman with a thin body and a light blue dress said in a relatively flat tone.

"If you don't give us an explanation, it's not over today", the slightly chubby middle-aged woman said unrelentingly.

The old man bowed his head and said nothing under the accusations of the two women, like a child who has made a mistake.

"You see that the old man is so old, and you are all her children, even if there is a big mistake, you can't do this"

"Yes, if you have something to say, sit down and talk about it."

The onlookers may be the old man's neighbors, and they kept persuading.

Hearing everyone's persuasion, the slightly chubby middle-aged woman instantly lost her temper, raised her voice and shouted: "Neighbors, you give a review, when she was sick and hospitalized, she called her youngest daughter, saying that she was abroad and couldn't go back, that's good, my eldest sister and I took turns to take care of it in the hospital, and the cost was also paid by our two families, the day before yesterday her youngest daughter called, saying that there was a lack of money to open the factory, she didn't say a word, she transferred the house to her youngest daughter's name, if we didn't stop it today, this house would have been sold"

The chubby middle-aged woman looked at the old man angrily, and then said: "You are so old, you said that you sold the house, where do you live, live in your youngest daughter's house?" Did she let you go? You yourself touched your conscience and said, who took care of you all these years when you were sick and hospitalized? And has your little daughter been home all these years? ”

Hearing this, I think I should know what caused this middle-aged woman to be angry and accuse her mother in public, and the old man's behavior is indeed unfair to other children.

After hearing this, the neighbors didn't want to say anything more about other people's own affairs, and they all dispersed.

The alley gradually quieted down, the old man sat on the steps in front of the door, silent, and the anger of the two middle-aged women seemed to have subsided, no longer arguing, no longer accusing.

Maybe sometimes, family affection in front of interests will become very light, perhaps the most complicated thing in the world is interpersonal relationships, poor in the downtown no one asks, rich in the mountains have distant relatives, I don't know when, all the efforts are to get more returns, more money.

How should a person's life be lived? What is real life? I don't understand, and I can't think clearly. I walked out of the alley and watched the traffic on the avenue, returning from tranquility to hustle and bustle.

I looked up, the starry sky was exceptionally bright tonight, and I couldn't find the star that pointed me in the direction, maybe it was hidden in the darkness, silently watching me move forward.

The cigarette between my fingers slowly lit up, and I took a deep breath, trying to forget all the sorrow in my heart, wanting it to disperse like smoke in the wind.

I fantasized that if I could break into the underworld and cancel the book of life and death like in the iQue world, there would be no more grief of life and death, but reality is reality after all, it allows you to have endless imagination and fantasy, but it does not allow you to bring it into reality.

"Brother, let's get drunk with you again tonight"

I snuffed out the cigarette in my hand and walked slowly towards the convenience store in the distance.

The sound of cars piercing the night sky, the world never stops turning because of anyone, and I think I should adjust my mentality and accompany him on his last journey.