Most of these essays were written during their college years

Now it's time to flip through the manuscripts

I even have the feeling of smiling

When I was younger, I felt that every failure was like the end

But now I feel that every failure is growth

That's how life is

Dance and dance and fall

Some people endured the pain and got up and continued to jump

Some people left the scene with red eyes

Only treat the past as a joke in life

(a)

On the eve of graduating from college

Due to those blind confidence in yourself

There is a lack of actual information gathering

and misjudgment of the status quo

I paid a heavy price

As a result, I am still running for survival

Graduation season is a really sad time

I'm deeply white now

escaped the hardships of hard work

You can't escape the hardships of life

Hurt all day long for feelings that you can't ask for

It feels like this is the most painful trough at the moment

I couldn't say anything, and I couldn't rest normally

I really don't know how to deal with everyone

Over the course of the year I felt like an animal

Everything can hit me, and everyone can hunt me

And I felt like I was locked up

I lack all the conditions for a struggle

What I was carrying was not so heavy as I thought

But I felt like I couldn't breathe

I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown all the time

I felt torn

I felt like something was eating me

I don't feel like I can win

That's it for the rest of my life

How could I be so vulnerable

I really felt like I was going crazy

I felt like I was going crazy

I was even fantasizing that someone would give me a hand

This is me, can I be in such pain?

In fact, every time I find a reason for myself

Think about your feelings and can't let go, and then say give up

You don't even have a room to hold back

And then I think I'm going to get here

After all, it is self-inflicted

(b)

Every time I expect my name to be on those lists

But I don't know why

I can't always get recognition

Do I need help this day?

Is this what it feels like to be hopeless?

The god who looked at me, you fucking told me that this is called despair?

How do I feel paralyzed even in pain?

I can't even get excited about victory?

I felt like I was going to die

It really feels like suicidal

I feel like I'm surviving not living

I'm X fucking you

The brainache always erupts when it's time to die

Are you really going to fucking kill me, that bitch from heaven watching me

I wanted to struggle to grab something

only to find that there was nothing to rely on

I can only rely on myself

Damn it

I'm going to work a little harder

Although I don't know if those efforts are useful or not

But

Horse-ridden

I'll have to give it a try

(c)

Don't care about the mistakes you make, grasp the attachment and go with the flow

Dreams are not lonely trips

Nor is it a painful cultivation

Be free and easy, don't explain anything

Don't prove anything

Learn with curiosity like a child

Ideas don't have to be argued with

Be silent

Respond

Even in the worldly view it must be wrong

Even the use of underhanded means

Victory cannot be given up

Any victory comes at a price

One thing I'm pretty sure of is that I've never liked standing with most people

It's because I hate being assimilated

Also hate that kind of retarded victory

Hate the thrill of not being able to slaughter

Exhausted to the point that I can't help myself

Struggling to the point of losing strength

In fact, people are just animals that are pushed forward

I still can't live a normal life

There is still a lot of serious pickiness about the opposite sex, and another talk has collapsed

Forgive me

I still can't adapt to this life

I don't know how many days this is

I don't know how many of them are

I don't know how many gallons of clear water will be needed to calm the tears and sweat in the process.

Forgive me

It's such a pretentious and low-end animal