Standing on the mountain road and looking back at the scene below, the sun at the end of May is clear and bright. The houses and trees in the distance look extremely fresh and pleasant. I don't know how many times I have walked this new winding mountain road, and every time I go up the mountain, I have a different state of mind, and every time I face the mountain road and the Bodhisattva with a heavy attitude.

Looking up at the big characters of the mountain gate, the golden color in the center of the plaque contrasts with the unpainted eaves on the left and right. In the progress of time, this mountain gate has undergone several transformations, and the towering stone carvings have witnessed its history, from ancient times, after the years of crushing, today, when I walked all the way up, so I can still see its existence.

The steps in front of the mountain gate have been newly built, and the original land monument has been moved to the right, and the entire area in front of the gate seems to have expanded a lot.

Smelling the pungent smell of lacquer, I knew that the doorpost had just been painted, bright and fresh.

Among the pilgrims coming in and out, the bursts of firecrackers and the unique smell of burning incense paper make people feel a lot heavier.

In the process of prayer and devotion along the way, we hope to receive solace and sharing in our hearts. Even if it's not very normative, at least we are sincere, and we pray to the Buddha for peace. Perhaps, like me, kneeling in front of the Bodhisattva, I really feel the need for understanding and prayer, hoping that the Bodhisattva can resolve it.

The sound of copper cymbals is crisp and melodious. I like the rhythm, unhurried, and even. From the bottom of the heart is light and tiled, all the way unimpeded. Spread out, unrestrained. Perhaps, just like the sound of the falling slabs of the temple in the morning, falling rocks hit, three or five sounds, unhurried, let people live with it.

The last time I thought about it, maybe it was for the safety of the camel, and when I thought of the wish I made at this time, maybe it wasn't just for the safety of the camel, there should be Mengling and Brother Zhendong.

Prostrate on the round of cotton, forehead on the ground, deep in the heart. I sincerely seek solutions with the Bodhisattva, hoping that he can give me hope and courage, and get some direction and direction. The result of Mengling and Brother Zhendong was something I didn't expect, I didn't ask for help and the direction of people, I felt like I was in a mess, and I didn't know what to do.

"The donor has a grudge in his heart, he should let go of everything, believe in the glory of the Buddha, and will be able to resolve everything." The monk sitting in the square chair next to him clasped his palms together, his eyes were sincere, and he said to me in one sentence. "Actually, it's not us who is wrong, it's this!" He smiled and pointed to his head.

I bowed my head and put my face on the ground, and my forehead hit the ground, and there was a sound. Maybe just balance yourself out. I have some feelings about this master's statement, but there are some things that I can't decide by myself, so the results can't be generalized, and I don't have any intention of deceiving in front of the Bodhisattva, and I have no selfish desires in my heart of worship.

"The donor's face is dull and his mind is heavy, and it seems disrespectful to show my Buddha in such a state of mind!" The master said cautiously, "If there is any doubt, the donor can state it in detail, and there is no need to hide in the depths. ”

"I 。。。。。。" I want to say but I can't say anything about my current situation in the face of this reasonable master. When I looked up and saw that he was kind and kind-eyed, it didn't look like a deception, and I was a little moved, and I thought: It's better to ask him to take a hexagram, what will be the result of Mengling and Brother Zhendong, how can I find a way to help them, maybe I will find some.

"Master!" I approached and didn't want to almost fall. Fortunately, he stood still again, looked up, and saw the monk bowing his head and chanting. Suddenly, a vague and clear impression came to mind. I could not believe my own judgment, and when I fixed my eyes again, I saw that the rough face and his beard were constantly enlarged and contrasted by me, and the result surprised me, and my heart could not help but tighten, and I felt only a pain, and I felt faint in confusion.

"You。。。。。。 You are...... I didn't dare to assert, looking at his familiar yet unfamiliar face.

"Donor, you 。。。。。。" The other party was also surprised, and stood up from the chair.

"Chen Gongming?" I tentatively looked into his eyes, I shouldn't miss every detail of him, my heart seemed to burst out of my chest, in the face of this sudden face, I couldn't calm myself, I only felt like my chest was blocked by something, and I couldn't speak.

"。。。。。。 you?" On the other side, he also opened his eyes and looked back and forth on my face a few times, "Weiwei? ”

"Wow。。。。。。" As soon as I heard his voice calling me, an endless grievance and sadness suddenly welled up, I stepped forward and grabbed his arms, and kept calling him, "Where have you been, where have you been, you don't come to me, make me so sad, you know no, you make me so miserable, you know no, you make me so miserable, you know?" I screamed and shouted, as if I wanted nothing more than to tell him all I wanted to say to him.

"Oh my God!" Hearing him shout, he raised his head to the sky and shouted, and then clasped his palms together, "Xiaowei, don't do this, don't do this here." You come with me. With that, he restrained his pessimism, ignored me, took a step back, seemed to brush his sleeves, and walked away from me. When I saw his robe fluttering, his face was joyful, and I didn't feel open-minded, and I didn't say anything more.

Dongfang Mountain, I have always had a feeling of yearning, maybe not only the light of the Buddha, maybe not the Bodhisattva gave me a chance to benefit, but it should be the reason why Chen Gongming is here. I don't understand why he is wearing a yellow robe here, I don't understand why he gave up on me at that time, and I don't understand his past emotional journey and survival experience, but he is disrespectful and disrespectful to me, and it is the result of my irresponsibility. I resented him, I was angry with him, and I wanted to ask him better.

The temple room, next door. It was when I entered the house that a quiet smell of sandalwood came to my nose, and the smell of a man, I smelled it.

Without waiting for Chen Gongming to close the door, I hugged him. This hug is what he owes me, and it is the man in front of me who owed me nearly ten years ago, when we were young and shy, but we couldn't clearly say that we loved each other properly. Maybe we didn't break that relationship at that time, or maybe we only knew the fear of loving each other and not daring to hold hands.

"Weiwei!" Chen Gongming gently pushed me away, "Don't be like this, I'm not what I used to be, as a monk, I don't have a choice!" ”

"Why?" I looked at the man in front of me, at the top of his head, which had already lit nine incense marks, and couldn't help but be dazed. "Why did you take this path, and where did you go when you graduated?" I approached him, and I didn't understand why he had given up on me in the first place, why he had disappeared all at once.

"I have a hard time, Weiwei, I don't want to say, I just want to know, are you doing well, are you doing well after you get married with the camel?" He turned his head away from me.

"You know, you know that the camel started chasing me then, you know that I got married to the camel, don't you?" My tears couldn't help but flow out, "What you said in school at the beginning, those love letters are all fake, what is eternal, what is white-headed and old, you are saying some inconsequential words, all are some deceitful words, aren't you?" ”

"I didn't, I didn't!" He still didn't dare to look at me, "Born in a city, grew up in a city, I know that you are close at hand, dare to know that you are doing well, slightly!" He looked up, and I saw that his face was full of tears, and his rough face was full of sadness, as if he could not speak, "You just have a good life, I am content!" ”

"What do you mean?" You grab him again, full of doubts, "What's wrong with you, your life must not be as good as you should be, look at your skin, your hair, it's not the same you used to be!" Why are you bothered, there must be something wrong with you? ”

"Amitabha!" He brushed me away with his hand again, but the slightest flick made it impossible for me to accept his renunciation. All along, countless times of looking forward to holding hands with him again. At that time, the bits and pieces of school have always been the driving force of my life. I have always been warm about the past with my first love, even if it has been ten years, every bit is still fresh in my memory.

"Marrying a camel is a situation where I can't find you after I've been looking for you many times. The camel found someone to threaten me every time, and I didn't give up until a year later, when I was desperate for you, I promised him, and I still asked the camel to swear to me when I got married: After I found you, the three of us had to make it clear to face, until today, I and the camel have not received a marriage certificate, do you know, do you know how hard I found you? When I think of these pasts, I comb yesterday, "The camel loves me very much, you know, he treats me as a grandmother, for ten years, I haven't done anything, I haven't interacted with anyone, every day like a nun, the evening drum and morning bell, the husband teaches, but I am not reconciled!" ”

"Weiwei, don't say it, I don't want to hear it, the camel really loves you very much!" Chen Gongming smiled lightly, squeezing out of the corners of his mouth. He sighed, walked to the side of the bed, looked at the neatly folded quilt on the bed, and said for a while: "The grudge began before, maybe it started from our acquaintance, maybe our understanding is a mistake. ”

I didn't squeak, I didn't agree with what he said.

"Many times, I only know its pity after going through it, and if I have a relationship, I will have it!" He sat on the edge of the bed, as if he didn't dare to look at me, "The love of the year has been blown away by the wind, Chen Gongming of the year no longer exists, the monks do not speak, ten years, I have also come out of the pain, devout to the Buddha, chanting and worshiping the Buddha every day, and the rules and precepts have also been accustomed." ”

Ten years, in the blink of an eye, Chen Gongming of the year really no longer exists. I looked at the silhouette of the person in front of me who had once woken me up with a smile in my dreams, the face of the person who loved my heart so much, that nothing existed, that its vague but real face and smiling face in memory would always be just a freeze frame, forever just a memory.

"Take me out of the house," I seemed to say something I didn't even understand without thinking.

"What?" Chen Gongming stood up suddenly.

"No, why, you can get out of the house, why can't I. Mengling and Brother Zhendong were both arrested for me, and that person was also beaten to death, and 。。。。。。 ”

"Meng Ling? What's wrong with her, have you been back and forth, Zhendong, ah! What's wrong with them? Chen Gongming was visibly surprised.

"You don't know the world, you are pure-hearted, why do you ask so much, do these people have anything to do with you?"

"Weiwei," Chen Gongming shook his head, "deep in Buddhism, far away from the world, of course, pure heart and few desires, but Mengling is your sister, Zhendong is my good friend, everyone is a friend, can't you even ask?" ”

"You also know how to care about people?" I snorted, approached the bedside, and sat down next to him deliberately, this time he did not object, and looked at me with an anxious and exaggerated expression, and then I told him what had happened before and after.