The suction tube is a few millimeters in diameter and slightly stiff in texture, inserted from the mouth to the pharynx.

The moment the suction tube touched the mucosa of the nasopharynx, "I" reflexively began to cough hard, and countless secretions seemed to gush out at the same time, overflowing from the nose and eyes, which was extremely uncomfortable.

The sputum suction tube rattled, and Ji Xiang also knew that this was a negative pressure suction that was sucking away the accumulated liquid in the respiratory tract, so that he could breathe more easily.

That being said, the stimulation from the suction tube into the airway was extremely strong, and Ji Xiang did not feel any pleasure of breathing smoothly, but instead entered a near-death feeling.

The sense of near-death caused "self" to twitch on all fours, and he tried his last strength to stop the nurse from suctioning.

Ji Xiang never thought that he had experienced so much, but a small sputum suctioning made him feel painful.

This level of pain is no less severe than other diseases.

"Hold the person down." The nurse said.

Ji Xiang was a little sad.

The nurse said what she said, and even if she experienced it, she would say it the next time she encountered a similar situation.

However, "myself" is really uncomfortable, and there is a sharp contradiction between treating the disease and making the patient comfortable.

His daughter immediately pressed her upper limbs and said with a crying voice, "Dad, just bear with it and suck the phlegm out."

The suction tube is then inserted deeper and directly into the airway through the nasopharynx.

The sputum suction tube, which was originally just a slightly stiff sputum suction tube, turned into a wooden stick in his "own" feeling, and Ji Xiang felt that his airway was occupied by the wooden stick, and he couldn't breathe in a trace of fresh air.

And the wooden stick continued to suck the air away because of the negative pressure, making it even more uncomfortable.

It's not about saving yourself!

Ji Xiang felt that he was already deprived of oxygen, and his brain was blank. Although logically there should be no signs of hypoxia in such a short period of time, this is what it really feels like.

The sound of sputum sucking continued, and "I" upper limbs were held down, trying my best to dodge but couldn't do it.

Fortunately, the time did not last long, after about 20 seconds, after the breathing and sputum suction, I began to suck the saline water to flush the tube, and flush the sputum in the suction tube to avoid blockage.

"There's too much phlegm, pay attention to knocking on your back." The nurse was very attentive, and she repeatedly taught her "own" daughter how to turn over, knock on her back, and discharge phlegm.

Although these operations are also done at home, my daughter still listens patiently and asks for technical details.

Ji Xiang knew that her daughter loved her, and she was reluctant to leave like this.

When your parents are there, your home is still there. If the parents are gone, the home is gone.

In this journey of life, parents are very important coordinates.

But "self" really doesn't want to be the coordinate anymore.

It's not just empathy, if you need to suffer such a crime in reality to live, Ji Xiang would rather give up.

At this moment, Ji Xiang didn't have the heart to dwell on how the pneumonia came about, he just kept thinking about how soon he could leave this world if the consumption was serious.

The daughter's attachment to herself, trying to keep herself in this "hateful" world, is like a torture.

Ji Xiang wanted to tell her that he was uncomfortable, but his current strength simply couldn't support a conversation.

Like a fish thrown ashore, he breathed hard, gathered his strength, and prepared to say goodbye to his daughter.

But "myself" is still too optimistic.

In less than half an hour, the nurse came again, this time with a nasogastric tube.

Lower the stomach tube and inject liquid food into the stomach...... Ji Xiang knew what to do next, but he couldn't accept it.

A tube that is slightly softer than the suction tube, but slightly thicker, goes through the nose.

Even if it's soft, "myself" feels very uncomfortable. Especially when the gastric tube passed through the oropharynx, the nurse and her daughter kept shouting in their ears to swallow it, Ji Xiang really didn't want to continue.

But even if Ji Xiang is unwilling, the stomach tube is still there

It's down and goes in.

Every time he swallowed saliva, the stomach tube would rub against the mucous membrane of the pharynx, which made Ji Xiang feel quite unaccustomed.

He remembered the story told by a senior brother during his internship - a patient with esophageal cancer could not tolerate the gastric tube after surgery, after all, there was a tube in the pharynx, which was stimulated with the swallowing action, which made the patient feel uncomfortable.

The patient removes the gastric tube on its own during the night.

Because the surgery for esophageal cancer has just been completed, if the stomach tube is lowered, it may cause anastomotic leakage, and doctors and nurses do not dare to go down again, so they can only explain to the patient and the patient's family.

At this time, the patient knew that he was scared, and he begged and wanted to live.

But at that time, the conditions were limited, and there was no other way, and the doctors and nurses were helpless and had to resign themselves to fate.

In the end, the patient was lucky, and on the day of discharge, a pennant was also given.

The senior brother laughed at the patient's words, Ji Xiang still remembered - he knew why he had to do it today.

However, after experiencing it himself, Ji Xiang realized that the lower gastric tube was really uncomfortable, although it did not exceed his tolerance threshold for pain, but this feeling was different from the previous illness.

Whether it is a stone, a fracture, or other diseases, when he empathizes, Ji Xiang can't wait to see the doctor and the Professor Zhou.

However, even if Professor Zhou comes, there is nothing he can do about the current situation, which Ji Xiang knows very well.

"Self" is already dying, and no amount of external force can only delay it for a while, and it will not allow "self" to completely recover its health.

The point is that the longer this last period drags on, the more "self" will suffer.

This kind of day has no end, and Ji Xiang is lost in empathy for the first time.

A word appeared in Ji Xiang's mind - lingering.

He completely forgot what he came for, it didn't matter how he got pneumonia, he only cared about how "he" didn't.

I still remember when I was in school, the teacher told me that Mr. Ba Jin was in pain before he died, and the people around him told him that everyone who loved him wanted him to live.

For this reason, Ba Jin had to fight his spirits and said that no matter how painful it was, he would cooperate with the treatment.

But the great pain caused Ba Jin to mention euthanasia several times, and after being refused, he also went out to his family, saying that he did not respect him.

Even Mr. Ba Jin said things like "I live for you" and "Long life is my torture".

During class, Ji Xiang couldn't understand what the teacher said, but now he gradually understood, not only those words, but also why Mr. Ba Jin said that.

The pain is continuous, and life is better than death.

The damn stomach tube will deliver nutrients every day, and coupled with intravenous infusions, Ji Xiang feels that "he" has no chance of dying quickly in a short period of time.

This has become a dream demon, deep, so that "yourself" has nowhere to escape.

The final outcome has been determined - death.

And before death? Does it have to be like this? Ji Xiang didn't want to.