Mudan said: We have many voices, but there is no truth. We come from the same conscience, but we hide from each other.

Later, people left one after another, Qin Feng ran to the side of the road and vomited for a while, the fat man poured water for him to wipe his mouth, Lao Zhang came to his senses and asked Cheng Yubai what his plans were next. Cheng Yubai didn't speak, and Lao Zhang also realized that he had crossed the line, so he didn't ask more.

He wanted to live up to Cheng Yubai's own after all, and he wanted to say something for Zhao Yan, but the words were finally hidden in his lips.

Cheng Yubai was left to the end.

Among so many classmates, he has the best relationship with the fat man. The fat man is knowledgeable and interesting, and has the wisdom of a philosopher, seeing Xu Qing coming and leaving, he guessed why she came and why she left. This time apart, I'm afraid the mountains and rivers are far away, and I really can't see it.

It's all fake to say that you don't feel emotional, and it's been almost ten years in the blink of an eye. The land of Jingdezhen is really loved and hated. He remembered something and asked Cheng Yubai: "Is your master doing well?" ”

"It's all good." He asked the fat man, "How do you think of him?" ”

"I haven't seen him much in the past few years, and I haven't seen a teacher for a long time. Your master and teacher had a fight before, do you remember? ”

How could Cheng Yubai not remember that at that time, he overturned the old dream of the top ten porcelain factories, realized that the restoration was a bubble, and decided to keep up with the new era. Li Ke was furious when he found out, put all the blame on Wu Yi, and rushed to the school to start with Wu Yi.

In fact, in the years when he grew up, Cheng Yubai had vaguely felt that Li Ke's direction was wrong, he lived in the past glory and stagnated, but Cheng Yubai was different, he accepted all the new teachings, and what he saw and felt was unprecedented. For a long time, he grew painfully under the pull of the old and the new, until he became an adult, and a rudimentary form gradually formed.

Wu Yi did give him a lot of guidance, but he really explored a road of reform, and the landing point was Taoxichuan, Sanbaopeng, ghost markets and ancient kiln factory areas, these living ecology in front of him constituted a new Baicai reform.

Tao Xichuan really has too many young and ambitious sparks like Xu Qing, and there are too many old people in the ghost market who cherish fragments and old objects as much as him, their consciousness, expression and needs, constantly confronting his cognition, he realized how narrow his vision is, and for many years afterward, he has been trying to communicate with these people, listen to their voices, and perceive their power.

Finally, he found a practical path.

The fat man knows that Cheng Yubai has never stopped learning, and his workshop and every day and night in the market are bricks and tiles that build high-rise buildings. Although I don't know where the root of Cheng Yubai's pain comes from, it must be inseparable from reform, and the main reason for mentioning these is to comfort him.

"At that time, I didn't have anything to do, I heard that the teacher was fighting with your master, and I always felt that something was going to happen, but it turned out that you were always very depressed and not very good-tempered for a while."

Cheng Yubai pursed his lips and touched the wine glass with the fat man.

The clear sound reminded him of the wine glass he had just touched with Xu Qing, and in the swaying water, her eyebrows and eyes made him nostalgic. He remembered a time when he was in a bad mood, how bad was it? He had insomnia night after night, and his hair fell out.

Li Ke's reaction was far more radical than he imagined, but he had walked the crooked road for more than ten years, and finally determined the direction he wanted, and he must have a resolute and firm will, and he was bound to go against Li Ke to the end, so there were a lot of ridiculous speculations in the school, Xu Qing also came to ask him, about his father, mother, Li Ke and the top ten porcelain factories, he was extremely angry, and he had no reason at all, so he let her go.

If you think about it, their estrangement has grown since then, like a moth-eaten canvas, torn little by little, little by little, the hole is getting bigger and bigger, and finally it is difficult to repair.

After that, Wu Yi took him to attend the tea ceremony exchange meeting and made friends with all kinds of social people. In order to push forward the reform as soon as possible, he also took advantage of the shadow of the Cheng family's ancestors to actively expand his contacts and use capital to take a faster road. Many times he was not in school and did not do his job, but he was praised as a master in a certain circle, and the rumors were like snowflakes, and then every drunken session, every interview, and every long retreat made Cheng Yubai's romantic history and ambition.

He had no way to explain it, and he didn't bother to explain it.

He stupidly believed that those who understood him would definitely understand, and those who did not understand him would not stop for him, no matter how they explained. It was precisely when the fat man knew this that he had to comfort him even more and say something he didn't know.

"I don't know who those rumors came from, when we first said what happened to your mother and master, we were all very angry, only Xu Qing poured a glass of water on the face of the classmate who chewed the root of his tongue. At that time, she still had a bulging bag on her head, which was an accident caused by your master and teacher when they were fighting, you probably didn't know, right? By the time you come to school, the bag has long been gone, and you won't understand the subtleties between girls, and she has been isolated for a long time. You know best what kind of character she is, and it is not easy to ask her to ask you. ”

The fat man will always remember that afternoon, when Xu Qing plucked up the courage to find Cheng Yubai, there was an extremely serious perseverance in her eyes.

She is not a very brave girl, and on some levels, she has an unknown inferiority complex.

Probably the more inferior you are, the stronger you are, right?

That night, he and Qin Feng were drinking beer by the lake, and when they heard a choking sound from a distance, they thought they had seen a female ghost, but then they pushed and groped through, only to tell that the person crying was not a female ghost, but Xu Qing.

"That was the only time I've ever seen her cry." The fat man said, "Yibai, no one in this world will stop and wait for you without asking for a reason, but Xu Qing has been waiting for you for a long time. ”

Cheng Yubai raised his head.

He will probably never know how many gadgets he has pinched in his life, and how many of these gadgets are in Xu Qing's hands. In the first two years of college, Cheng Yubai was still on the road of "exploration", and he had a lot of time to pinch gadgets. These gadgets, now with a scoop of drink logo, will definitely sell for a good price. Even if it didn't, it was very popular at the time.

Xu Qing doesn't know how he did it, talent or professional ability? He can always build a bridge close to people's hearts through ceramics. They couldn't put it down, and they wouldn't share the slightest bit of her elaborate utensils. She was very angry, more of a kind of shame, or shame, in the first winter of going to Taoxichuan, she also asked Cheng Yubai to accompany her, and she didn't let him go in the spring.

Liao Yifan is busy with packaging and sales, running public kilns and factories every day, and most of the time she rides a tricycle alone, carrying her hopes, running on the endless fields in the moonlight and night.

It was hard for her to deny the heat that winter brought her, and the sun was warm on her body on a sunny day, so she could rest on Cheng Yubai's back and relieve the fatigue caused by staying up late for days. It wasn't so easy in the rain and snow, the road was slippery, and occasionally she had to come down and help him push the cart together.

Several times they were stuck at the entrance of the alley, and when they couldn't get in or out, she broke down emotionally, and she didn't say a word with a tense face, and Cheng Yubai wiped the snow on her face. They were still in the middle of the night when the stall was closed, and they had a snowball fight together.

On the way back, his face was drenched in sweat, and she was afraid that he would catch a cold and get sick, so she insisted on giving him a scarf and hat, and wrapped him tightly in a circle, and he kept looking at her.

There was an evil in his eyes.

Xu Qing was willing to call that kind of thing human desire, because after that winter, they were far away, and she never saw the same heat in his eyes again.

She took a little rabbit and showed it to Xu Zhiliu and asked him if he looked good. Xu Zhiliu looked left and right, stubbornly refusing to admit that Cheng Yubai was better than him.

Xu Qing couldn't help laughing.

"Where did you collect so much from?"

"Some are second-hand markets, some are studios." There is a special studio for the ancient ceramics major, and occasionally she goes to wait for Cheng Yubai to pick up some things that he throws away. Some of them were in class together, and he landed at his desk.

These gadgets come together and unknowingly fill a box. Then the box was locked and placed in an inconspicuous place in the storage room. If she hadn't dragged it out from behind the cupboard today, Xu Zhiliu wouldn't have thought that there was a box hidden behind it.

He remembered the brightly lit fly restaurant not long ago, the aroma of wine was overflowing, and the atmosphere was like spring.

"Why do you say that?"

Xu Qing knew that he couldn't hide everything, and he didn't want to hide it. She sat on the floor with the box in her arms, leaning against the cabinet, thinking back to the distance and near over the years, and shrunk herself into a ball.

"I really can't read him." She said, "Many times I thought he was mercenary, an out-and-out businessman, and he played with power all day long, designed the porcelain fair to put pressure on Yuan Xishi, and used university cooperation to solicit bribes, pinched Zhao Qi's substitute handle, and asked him to support the reform of Baicai, and even regarded a national exhibition that was only held once every ten years as child's play, threatening Gao Wen to give him an opening ceremony speech...... Isn't such a person a person who can do whatever it takes to achieve his goals? ”

"Cheng Yubai is indeed this kind of person."

"Even if the resale of fakes and broken porcelain remains to be investigated, it may not be without reason, why is it not someone else who is him? His ambition, his desire, his quest for power, is this pen all fake? ”

Of course it's true.

"But he would rather be grabbed by the tail by the opposition, and give Yuan Xishi the opportunity to be on "The Heavy Weapon of the Great Power", why? Why didn't he just break it to the end? ”

She should have asked herself the same question many times in her heart, but she was always unable to solve it, and she was always in a dilemma, and finally one day she couldn't help but vent it. Xu Zhiliu was outside, but she saw it more clearly, and asked her: "Do you know why I was sure that he was the reincarnation of Xiao Liang in the first place?" ”

Cheng Yubai and Liang Peiqiu are two people who have nothing to do with each other at first glance, they are not similar in terms of personality and appearance, but there is no doubt that when he first saw Cheng Yubai, he was determined, "They all have the determination to die for ceramics, whether it is porcelain art or ingenuity, under the premise of not violating the principle, I can feel Cheng Yubai's awe of the reform of the porcelain industry." Like you said, a set of standards based on the ceramics themselves, measured and regular. ”

He now lets go of everything, has a comfortable conscience, and can say some fair words, "Xu Qing, some people are simple, the unity of knowledge and action, you can understand it at a glance, but there are some people who are dressed in three layers of skin inside and three layers outside, and they can't see it clearly with the naked eye alone, Cheng Yubai is such a person." Do you admit it? There is a place between you and him where no one can intervene, and there may be room for yourself, with your respective tacit understanding and some kind of affection to be examined. ”

He thought about it for a long time, and still thought it was the word "affection".

Xu Qing couldn't help but laugh.

"I know very well that those feelings can't make him stay for me, and similarly, a one-sided stay is not what I want." That night in the hospital, he had already given the answer.

Before the cold winter came, she and Cheng Yubai ended before they started.

She smiled again, smiled, and tilted her head and closed her eyes.

"He asked me if I love ceramics, and at that moment I was really in pain, and I didn't understand why it was him every time. He made me feel again and again, even every time, that I, Xu Qing, didn't seem to deserve love at all. ”

Unlike when the "butterfly change" encountered several pressures from Luo Wenwen, factories and social public opinion, she had almost no way out, at that time, "flashy" was a pain that went deep into the bone marrow, and she wanted to tear apart all Xu Qing's dignity and efforts to face up to the failure in the first half of her life. She was crying out on the streets without people, unable to help herself, and now what she is tearing apart is the little affection between her and Cheng Yubai, there is no vigor at all, there is just the calm of Wangqiu Xianzero.

When she was young, she couldn't carry a lot of things, the so-called class, threshold, fame and title and other gaps in front of her, because she couldn't cross it, she took a lot of detours, went to a far away city, or wanted to come back, but she has been trying to maintain self-esteem and self-love, she is proud, Xu Qing must guard that little bit of affection at an equal height, so even when she calmly and even desperately thought that Xu Qing was so not loved by Cheng Yubai, she still chose to guard the miracle of love and peace, Still trying to grow towards the sunlight after the dark clouds, in a rainforest where he once stayed, he is as independent and reserved as possible.

She didn't want to strangle anyone.

Even if this person is Cheng Yubai.

Returning to her place and not letting this affection become his weakness may be the last thing she can do for him.

"I don't understand him, maybe he doesn't need anyone's understanding." Xu Qing gently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and a light smile appeared on his lips, "This is Cheng Yubai, isn't it?" ”

Xu Zhiliu felt that it was wrong, no one needs to be understood if they live in the world. If there is such a person, it is only under the trade-off that this little human desire is abandoned.

"Xu Qing, frankly speaking, I envy you. Hundreds of years ago, Xia Ying and I also advocated Baicai reform. I have never mentioned it to anyone, and I don't know if Xiao Liang can guess, even if there are only some, he understands that I have such a heart for Jiangxi porcelain industry, and I have no regrets for me. I really envy this era, I and Xiaoliang met in a civilized and uncivilized dynasty, in that dynasty where power is supreme, we have lost many, many voices and legal rights, we don't even have a complete personality, but you and Cheng Yubai are different, even if the will is different, you can still speak up bravely for your heart, traditional ceramics and modern ceramics meet in a narrow way in a developed civilization, industry and hand-made are evenly matched, behind the miracle of love and peace is a kind of cultural tolerance of rigidity and softness, The beauty of ceramics can survive well in this prosperous era, I am extremely envious and gratified, but it is a pity that Xiao Liang can not take a look at this prosperous era with me. ”

Xu Zhiliu said, "If I can go back one day, I will definitely tell him, you see, that is Xu Qing and Cheng Yubai, like you and me, like the preservation of the chicken bowl cup, like the controversy of Baicai's reform, many things will not end with the death of life, at a certain point in history, it will always exist and continue." That kind of continuation does not have to be the same voice of us, we can oppose or agree, we can also judge black and white with a free heart, we don't have to consider the market, class, economy, authority, etc., the only thing we have to do is to keep the kiln fire, let the weak flame grow little by little, become hot, become vigorous, and then endlessly, spread to future generations, even tens of millions of years. ”

Xu Qing, whether you love him or not has nothing to do with him. Whether he loves you or not has nothing to do with you.

Your self-esteem and self-love belong to you.

His camp belongs to him.

She doesn't need to understand Cheng Yubai, and Cheng Yubai doesn't need to understand her, they just need respect.

Everyone has their own way of living, the important thing is to live a unique self, and there is no need to be in harmony with the avenue, and he just lost himself in the drift and became a river with the waves. In the same way, he hopes that Xiao Liang can also understand.