（58）

When you fall in love with someone, you really can't do with anything, and then you really want to spend your life with him, and you have made a lot of effort and dedication for this relationship.

.

But I found that the more you exert yourself, the farther away he becomes, he doesn't love you as much as you imagined, and even your future is only supported by you.

.

For a relationship that can't see the future, it's a waste of each other's energy and time, so be sensible and don't continue to be together. Although there is love with each other, this love is only meaningful if you choose the right person and continue to go.

.

It's been three days, and although Gong Yi and Cangxi haven't cut off contact, their messages are only sharing a few words of daily life, and there are no more intimate expressions of hugging and kissing.

.

How Gong Yi hoped that Cangxi could occasionally take the initiative to hug and kiss as before, and the more he looked forward to it, the more disappointed he became. Indeed, there is no longer any trace of love in the message chat between them.

.

This kind of depression and longing goes by with time, which is particularly heart-wrenching. Gong Yi knew that she and Cangxi were suppressing this love and not letting their emotions come up. They both accept that there is no future for each other.

.

There is no future love, but the connection is still not completely broken, love makes people so irrational and irrational. Do they want to be each other's spare tires, or do they really love this person?

.

Spare tire, what a low-level and appropriate word. They agreed to go with the flow, no longer determine the relationship, and not let love tie together. If one day you have money and a future, and you don't find the right time for each other, let's get together again.

.

If marriage is about finding partners to live, there should be applause here. The difference is that they love each other, and they are partners who love each other if they can get married.

.

Stop thinking nonsense. It's so painful to miss someone, don't think about those who have and don't, it's completely boring and nutritious. Fate can't be forced, and the taste of missing someone is only known to herself, and others can't share it or replace it.

.

Spare tire, I'm his spare tire. It's really hateful, and it's so helpless. In the face of reality, no matter how sincere love is, it has to give way, so humble. Actually, he didn't ask me not to find another suitable one, but I couldn't get over it in my heart, and I didn't use him as a spare tire.

.

Gong Yi was listlessly in a daze and continued to immerse himself in painful emo emotions. Loving someone can really be so painful, and it doesn't end well for two people who love each other.

.

Cangxi is different from Gong Yi, he did not fully disclose this love, but Gong Yi made it all public to his family, girlfriends and friends. So, the spare tire won't happen to her. For the sake of this love, she blocked the suitor three or two, this is not a sacrifice, this is a responsibility.

.

Isn't it worth it? All the suitors are more suitable than Cangxi's realistic conditions according to the realistic level, but Gong Yi only goes with her heart, she only wants love, and does not give the suitors any chance.

.

But did Cangxi cherish her love? Are men all like this, the easier it is to get, the less they cherish it? Men like hunters, interested only in women who are untamable or difficult to tame?

.

Men treat love so differently from women that they only play PUA tricks when women don't love or don't love enough. It's not intentional, if you don't love or don't love enough, you can have no desire, and if you don't have desire, you will be strong.

.

Cangxi is indeed very realistic. He is very rational and analyzes this love without a future, as if he is an outsider, calm and decisive, and seems to have predicted that the life trajectory they are going to take can only go their separate ways.

.

Cangxi said to Gong Yi: "You are suitable to find a local man who has a house and a car and can take care of your daily life." ”

.

Gong Yi-for-tat: "You are suitable for finding a hometown, living in your newly bought house, taking care of your parents and children, and having a stable job like me." ”

.

Cangxi didn't deny it, and said with a dry laugh: "Yes, if you are from your hometown, I will marry you immediately, you are very kind." ”

.

You can hear the taste. In fact, Cangxi doesn't really love Gong Yi, she is just a suitable person for marriage. If she is from his hometown, they can hit it off and get married and have children.

.

（59）

But reality is reality. Gong Yi is not from Cangxi's hometown, and they are short of a house when they get married and have children. The house is a gap in reality that cannot be crossed at present, and it will not be solved for a while and a half.

.

Gong Yi was originally determined to follow Cangxi to endure hardships, and she herself worked hard to find a way to start a side business for love. If Cangxi loved her beyond words, then her body and mind would not be so exhausted.

.

The bitterness of love is mainly due to the fact that Cangxi did not firmly choose Gong Yi and was not as scrappy as her. In the 125 days they were together, he didn't see the future, he went back and forth, he was hot and cold to her, and she completely lost all sense of security. The love experience was very torturous and cruel to her.

.

Gong Yi cried again. Her tears are like tap water from a faucet, which can be obtained at any time by turning on a switch. She is indeed a crybaby, and a crying woman is always simple.

.

A crying woman is kind-hearted and always considers others, which contains too many grievances in her heart. Such a woman is very stupid and kind, but it makes people feel distressed to watch.

.

A crying woman, delicate and sensitive, insecure, often cranky, fragile and lonely, very concerned about the eyes of others, she always longs for someone to understand him and be able to love her.

.

A crying woman is used to smiling to hide her emotions, she looks big during the day, and at night you can see the real her under the mask.

.

Cangxi didn't like Gong Yi to cry a lot. He was already immune to Gong Yi's tears, he felt that Gong Yi always loved to cry, and felt that her crying was no longer valuable and worthless.

.

You can pretend to laugh, but you can't cry. Every tear is a time to touch the softest part of the heart. What he thinks is worthless, it's just that he hasn't felt sorry for her to the depths, and he no longer feels sorry for her crying. This is also a sign of unlove.

.

Thinking of all kinds of past events between them, Gong Yi made up his mind not to have any new memories with him, and gradually faded out of each other's lives.

.

Looking at the 120,000-word long-distance relationship diary, Gong Yi didn't want to write any further, and the days with Cangxi in the future were as light as water, and the words without the spice of love seemed pale and powerless.

.

There is such a passage written on the front page of the diary, with a headshot of Cangxi, and the loving eyes deeply love Gong Yi's expression, which is the most beautiful smile in the world.

.

"The sweetness of love is that when you come into your life, you know how happy it is to like you. What a rare thing it is to be happy with each other. When you fall in love, you know that love is like a peach, and the unique taste of peach fragrance is like the kiss of first love. Only by holding you can I know what is the happiest time in the world, which is to hold you in my arms. ”

.

（60）

Gong Yi wrote today's diary, and after this diary, there are only memories between them. She no longer renews all memories related to Cangxi.

.

2022.9.12 Sunny day

I opened the diary and relived the bits and pieces between us, and I planned to organize them all into a thick and unique diary. From today on, I will no longer write about my affairs with you, I have completely lost my sense of expectation in your love, and only endless loneliness remains.

.

I believe that after I rearrange our love and write everything in my diary, my love for you will be completely let go, and then I will be able to face my new life with an empty cup of mind.

.

If one day you do come back and are interested in seeing how a woman with eyes full of you goes from loving you deeply to leaving disappointed, you remember that the unlock code is your birthday.

.

Gong Yi fell into the memories, the memories of the beginning of their first acquaintance. At that time, Cangxi was surprised that Gong Yi had such a strange feeling towards him.

.

He [covers his face] and then asks her to call him Daddy. So, she called him "Cang Dad". He was so satisfied and enjoying the title that he messaged back, "You're screaming at me, baby."

.

Since then, Cangxi has found himself in love with Gong Yi, and this kind of love is wonderful, as if it was love at first sight. Gong Yi also found that when she called him "Cang Dad", her heart was rich. And when she heard him call her "baby", because no man had ever called her "baby", her heart beat faster.

.

Cangxi is a god-like existence in Gong Yi's heart. He was like God's vision, seeing her in vain. He is so steady and erudite, rich in experience, very tolerant and empathetic, gentle and gentle, and his voice is so charming and beautiful, like a father who warms her heart. They are also devout Buddhists.

.

In the past few years, in the global environment, Cangxi has worked hard to maintain his small company, and the small company is still standing under the wind and rain. He is a person who is unwilling to admit defeat, and he is also a powerful character in Shuangshang Online, but his life has been very bumpy along the way.

.

There is no one to help him, and he has worked hard to survive until now. He has such a cold face and mind, which is the result of the environment. One can imagine how much suffering he has endured.

.

Gong Yi is in love with a man who works so hard. Although he will also be pessimistic and self-denying, this does not affect his self-regulation before setting off.

.

His career has been going downhill, and it is his ability to persist until today without closing down the small company. His financial quotient is already higher than that of more than 80% of small and medium-sized business owners.

.

This year is a critical period for the company's survival. Cangxi couldn't be distracted anymore except for money, and he was prepared for the worst, he decided to put their love aside, it should be said that Gong Yi was given up. He knows that a woman's time is too precious and wishes her to find a suitable partner.

.

Therefore, there is only a blessing between them, and there is no future. Love that doesn't see hope is better than short pain in the long term. They're really over.