I've been particularly reluctant to admit defeat since I was a child.

The report card says that I am a dynamic and self-motivated girl, but there are wins and losses in life. Study, sports, art, everything has a limit, and all these abilities, I am not particularly outstanding. Except for looks, of course. When I was 16 years old, I auditioned for an idol, and that was the only thing I was good at.

The name of the person sitting next to me at the audition was Julia Baruch. She said to me at the time, "I'm probably going to be chosen because I'm so cute." She studied classical ballet and gymnastics from an early age, and also joined the school's track and field team. Her father was a master of the traditional performing arts industry, and he was widely known for his famous works such as "Rakugo". Since she was a child, she has been exposed to things with noble tastes, and she has a high vision and a wide range of knowledge, which is completely different from mine. She has long been accustomed to standing above the stage without stage fright.

In the same era, people who work hard, people who have tasted losing, and people who are not afraid of losing, I think this is synonymous with her. Of course, both he and I received a notice of qualification. A tall man who calls himself Bucky becomes our agent. There were three qualified people, including me, Julia was of course there, and the other was named Aisha.

Bucky announced, "Let me be in the central position." In order to live up to expectations, I practice every day, and I juggle my idol and my studies. It was the first time in my life that I had worked so hard, but Julia was still on the track team, and she couldn't seem to run out of energy. It's really infuriating.

A year and a half later, we had our first show, and by this time I was eighteen years old, and I was starting to feel anxious. After that, I participated in several events and was teased by the funny group "Gold Band" that I had never heard of. I felt humiliated. I think they're all people who are used to losing.

On the way home after the event, I met the man named Jaz. This funny artist who can't turn over in my life makes me more and more popular, and I feel that I will never see him again in my life, so I said to him: "Don't you feel unwilling? Engage in that kind of cheap activity and work with unknown idols...... How do you feel when you see your peers and juniors still developing? ”

"Surprise me! You and I said the same thing! This is his answer, "At first, I was not reconciled, but ah, I was already dead, and then I felt very relaxed." Seeing my peers and juniors develop, I am sincerely happy for them. ”

At this point, life is over, I thought. But at the same time, I think that this kind of life must be easy. There is no need to pursue so-called wealth, nor to seek that empty fame. With a sense of indifference, I exchanged contact information with him.

Then one day, we were ready to make our debut. Finally...... It's about to make its official debut. I asked the other two people why they chose to make their debut. Aixia's answer was, "My family is very poor, and I want to be able to have a room of my own." I can only take a shower every day...... To be honest, I want to be able to become a rich man. Julia's answer was irritating: "Honestly, I signed up with the intention of experiencing life and creating memories." However, after I met Cross, I really thought we could make it to the top. ”

They all think it's their luck to be with me. Unfortunately, my self-motivation does not allow me to feel too much joy. Of course, I was still touched at that time. However, when the record was about to be recorded and morale was high, the producer who came to see our etudes pointed to Julia and said, "Let this girl stand in the middle." ”

Everyone was shocked. I was horrified. One night two months ago, I called Julia out, and that night, even the public carriage that was scheduled to pick up on time had stopped, and I asked her to come in a rental carriage. She told me at the time that it would cost a lot of money to get from the lily street to the singing room. I said it's fine.

Because I was going to beg her with a handful of snot and tears, I wanted to find a place where no one was there for the time being, but I could get in. Maybe this kind of thing can be used as an excuse, but to be honest, I probably had the intention to kill at that time. There was a hall next to the singing room, and I asked her to wait for me there.

She arrived before I could, but when I arrived, I didn't see any lights on the building. When I got to the hall, I saw a scene that I will never forget in my life. That night the moon was round, cold, and the faint magic of the moonlight slowly poured out of the window, pouring straight over Julia's head, then on her shoulder blades, and then on her back. Her head was slightly lowered, as if she was sleeping, but when I got closer, two transparent saliva slipped from the corners of her mouth.

She's dead. I fell to the ground in a panic, and just then, the agent happened to break in and happened to see the scene. I was obviously suspicious, so he asked me if I had done all this. I shook my head desperately, there was no way I could pass on the trumped-up charges to me.

I confessed everything to him. Including wanting her to give up the central seat, and if she can't do it, kill her. I showed my agent our contact records and told him what had happened loudly that day.

No one knows who killed Julia. The agent seemed to believe me, and after about an hour, Bucky came downstairs and brought in two men, one tall and stout like a gangster, and the other speaking in an odd rhythm like an old acquaintance of the director of the firm. According to their first impressions, Julia was first beaten with a blunt object and then strangled.

After all, it was late at night, and it would be very conspicuous if it was seen, and I did my best to avoid people's eyes, there was not enough security on the streets around here, and it was something I had confirmed several times before calling Julia, even if it was strange, but I didn't have the heart to think about it at the time.

It was a nightmare, and Bucky had to go back to the office to do the same. Before sinking the body to the bottom, he hollowed out Julia's internal organs with a knife that dissected the corpse and filled it with stones so that the body would not float up from underwater. Then the rapper told me about the future, and although I still didn't quite understand what he was saying, I summed up what he meant, and I roughly wanted to know what Julia was doing that day, and if she told someone about her itinerary, or if she was photographed by a recording technique, they would have to deal with it. They had to find a way to induce her family to call the police, get enough information, and then get her family to withdraw the application.

The reward for this corpse disposal seems to be half of the sales of Mystic Kiss in the future, and the members can be used to help them work at will.

I kept looking at the water behind the sunken corpses, and then I looked back and saw the blood stains on the two men's bodies, and the sky was slightly bright.

No problem, can it go well? I don't even have the strength to think about it. A few days later, Bucky brings back a young girl named Britney Carney, who will be active under the name of Julia. Because of this, the other two girls have to wear masks that are not very good-looking, but it can only be like this. The agent seemed to convince them with the reason "for her to think about when she returns".

Everyone should have thought that if only Julia were still around. Her skills are really not enough. I swear to silence this thought. I had to call her Julia because I wanted to make it a habit. And she didn't dislike her new name, and after listening to her explanation, I realized that she was actually a girl who failed to participate in the audition, and she really couldn't accept it, so she took the initiative to contact Mr. Bucky and asked him to let her join.

I admire her. When he lost the election, he told Britney that she was the fourth. She does have a reason to be unwilling, just a little bit, and it is normal to feel a pity. I also asked her if she had auditioned for other idol agencies, and she replied that she didn't, because she thought that as long as I was there, the group would definitely be popular. Her dream is to become famous, her family is a single-parent family, and she hopes that after she becomes famous, she can make her mother in a distant country happy.

When the time came, we put on a show, and Bucky said it was okay, but I wasn't satisfied. I had a sense of failure that would have been more successful if Julia had been around. "If Julia is still around" even I was lost in thought, and it was at this time that I heard the news that the girl on Lily Street was missing, and even though I kept reassuring myself that it was just a show, I was almost broken by such a strong sense of guilt. This is already a big matter of human life.

The Security Department repeatedly asked me to assist in the investigation, but the police only found that Julia had taken a horse-drawn carriage on Lily Street and her whereabouts were unknown. It was enough for us to know Julia's path to the firm, but the problem was the cab in which she was riding, and I was afraid of the coachman's testimony, and there might be a recording on the cart, so finding the two cabs became a priority. This is the job of the rapper and Bucky, and our job is to be a good idol.

Enough intelligence has been gathered from the police and the news that the next step is to withdraw the search application. When the rapper investigates Julia, he discovers that her father has a connection with an underworld person. Julia dreams of becoming an idol, but she is troubled by her father's relationship with the underworld, and she feels that she can't become an idol like this. She despaired of this and ran away from home.

They instilled this logic into Julia's parents, and before they knew it, the investigation was withdrawn. Will there be witnesses? Could it have been exposed? When I walk, I am often afraid that someone will tap me on the shoulder in the back, my heart will beat faster, my breath will be short, I will sweat profusely, my hands will tremble, and I will cry and scream. From the bottom of my heart, I can long to go back to the beginning.

Cycle. I'll probably live with this kind of horror for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm going crazy. At this time, it was Jaz who supported me. Of course I didn't tell him anything, but his existence is salvation, and he is the only one who can heal me. He used his way of life to accept me who did not admit defeat. Lose or win, it doesn't matter. He brought me this thought, and I wanted to bring him happiness.

The season came to winter, and then that thing happened suddenly.

The body was recovered from the former Beijing Canal, and Julia's identity was revealed.

The Winter Solstice Festival is just around the corner.