Of course, Zhang Yan would not think that whether she would be a queen or not was just her own business.

If it weren't for her special conditions, she wouldn't have dared to leave the palace so willfully and recklessly.

Her emperor's husband is also her uncle, and the Empress Dowager Lu Pheasant is her grandmother. Liu Ying is generous by nature, and between husband and wife, she is the one who is ashamed of herself, and she will not pursue herself; And even if Grandma is angry with herself, she will never implicate her mother and younger brother. The Zhang family will not suffer a catastrophe because of this.

History has already quietly changed its trajectory inadvertently. She believes that as long as Liu Ying will not indulge herself in abandoning the government, Empress Lu will never be able to easily take control of the government from her son. As a relative, the power and ambition of the Lu family will not swell to the point of being out of control, and it is also predictable that the Xinping Marquis Mansion and the Xinping Marquis Mansion will continue to be so peaceful and prosperous as long as the descendants of the Xinping Marquis Mansion are in peace.

As for a hundred years later, a hundred years later.

How can the fate of a family be so easy to calculate? Qin Shi Huang has the courage to swallow the eight wildernesses, and his descendants have enjoyed the wealth of several generations?

Over the years, Ah Weng has been in the Hou Mansion, only occasionally reading books, painting, and staying in peace with his mother. She never knew that Ah Weng still held such a large force in his hands. And she thought that she had calculated all the factors, but when she looked back, she was shocked to find that she still underestimated her father's ambition. It is the ambition of a man, the ambition of a political group that has been grouped together for a specific purpose.

Ambitions she thought were gone.

The curtain of the car hung down, blocking the light of the sky, Zhang Yan lowered her eyes, and when her thoughts were chaotic, she heard the sound of horses' hooves passing outside the car and came back, stopped outside the car and called, "Is it Sister Shujun?" ”

Zhang Yan was stunned. He opened the curtain and looked out, and said with a smile, "Is it the cousin of the Zhao family?" ”

"Sure enough, it's Sister Shujun - I just passed by, and when I saw Brother Zeran next to the car, I guessed it was you, so I turned back and took a look." The sun shone obliquely, dyeing Zhao Qin's face with a faint layer of gold, and Lang Lang smiled,

"Speaking of which, I was careless that day. frightened my sister and asked her for forgiveness. ”

"What did my cousin say," Zhang Yan said with a smile. "I'm not so ignorant. My cousin has not thanked me in person for saving my life. ”

"Shujun," Zhao Qin hesitated, "Are you okay lately?" ”

Zhang Yan's face couldn't help but be dyed with a faint crimson. Sometimes I think that maybe it's because I care too much. When others didn't inadvertently mention it, they couldn't help but think of themselves and Liu Ying, which was embarrassing.

"It's fine." She replied implicitly.

"That's good." Zhao Qin grabbed the reins of the horse, slowed down, and walked forward beside Zhang Yan's car.

"It's been more than a month since I arrived in the Northland. Northland is good though. However, except for Fengpei and Chang'an, I have never stayed in one place for such a long time. ”

The curtain of the car is turbulent. Covering Zhang Yan's bright face, the corners of her lips raised slightly, "Then you can go back and pack your luggage." Her voice was soft, "Maybe, I'll be able to go back soon." ”

"Really?" Zhao Qin just heard it. glanced at Zhang Yan and smiled meaningfully. "There's nothing you don't like to hear these days, do you?"

Zhang Yan pursed her lips, "My cousin loves to tell jokes." ”

"yes." Zhao Qin smiled disapprerovingly, "Maybe, I really like to laugh." But Shujun, I still have something I want to talk to you about. ”

His gaze looked forward leisurely, "Over the years, I have been walking in the rivers and lakes, and I am used to seeing men and women love, I think that my cousin really loves you." ”

She pursed her lips and smiled absently.

Actually, she knew about this a long time ago.

Such a smile fell on Zhao Qin's eyes, and the corners of his lips curled, it seems that the sentient people have finally come together, and such an ending, the onlookers will be happy when they see it. Suddenly, he said leisurely, "Niangniang, I actually love my cousin very much, right?" ”

Zhang Yan's smile eased, and her expression was slightly stunned, "Why did my cousin say that?" ”

"Shujun has ever found that you are even polite to my cousin, who is only beating me with eight poles, but you have no fear of your cousin. It seems that how you can cut his face, you can come. ”

"We are always presumptuous in front of those closest to us, if you are not sure that you have an unusual position in your eyes, how can you treat him like this?"

Is that so? Zhang Yan asked herself.

After leaving Chang'an, she has let her feelings dominate her for too long. Nowadays, one thing after another is happening, and people are dizzying and have no time to react. She thought, she should stop, calm down, be careful, be good, and think about it.

"Sister Shujun, do you know," Zhao Qin didn't give her time to think, and continued to cast stones in her heart lake, "That day in Shanan, when you had an accident, why wasn't your cousin in the city?" ”

Zhang Yan came back to her senses and replied disappreciatively, "He has his business, and I can't really think that he should always revolve around me." ”

"That's right." Zhao Qin said with a smile, "That day, my cousin heard that the Bu family in Yunzhong had a rouge horse with a divine horse, and he wanted to buy it back for you, so he personally came to the door to ask for it, and then he left Shanan City." ”

"Really?" Zhang Yan was stunned.

"What reason do I have to lie to you?" Zhao Qin smiled, and his bright eyes fell on her face.

Zhang Yan's mood fluctuated, and she was a little crazy unconsciously.

Things have come to this point, whether to stubbornly stop going too far and maintain refusal, or to take a step back and bend down to accept it, so far, she has not deliberately thought about it. It's just that the two choices set a balance in my heart, and when I inadvertently bowed my head, I found that the weight on the other side seemed to be getting heavier and heavier.

Heavy, she seems to be a little unable to hold on, perhaps, just add a slight goose feather, she will collapse.

"Shujun," Zhao Qin sent Zhang Yan to the door, and when he said goodbye, he left the last sentence, "I don't know, what happened between you and your cousin, who is right and who is wrong, but, I think, if you take a step back, you can get happiness." You must not lose your happiness for the sake of persistent attachment. ”

Hold on to your happiness...... Is it?

She wasn't sure what her happiness was. She just suddenly had a vigorous impulse, and she wanted to rush to Liu Ying to see what he looked like.

She walked all the way through the courtyard, through the hall, along the corridor in the courtyard, and hurriedly ran towards the middle courtyard.

The courtyard where Liu Ying lived was already in sight, and a few small servants seemed to be chatting casually under the shade of the trees. It's someone she doesn't know.

"Ma'am." Guan Sheng saw that it was her, and hurriedly greeted her, respectfully.

Zhang Yan stopped. Standing at the corner of the verandah, she asked, "What is your master doing now?" ”

"Back to Mrs.'s words," Guan Sheng bent his waist very low, as if he had never straightened up at all. The voice was flattering, "Lord Yunzhong Du came to ask to see him, and the master received him in the inner hall. ”

The shadow of the pear tree branches and leaves fell on her bright side face, and after a moment of silence, Fang said, "I see." Go back and wait. ”

She returned to her dormitory.

At this time, I remembered that that day, Liu Ying was in such a hurry to take herself back to Chang'an. It's not without good reason, is it?

After Shanan County used the authority of the Son of Heaven, the news that the emperor was driving outside could no longer be covered. He had to rush back before the turmoil reached Chang'an. And he has really delayed himself for too long. It's been a long time. She felt that it was really a dream.

"Aoi." She commanded, "I want to take a bath, you help me get some hot soup." ”

Qing Kui responded crisply, and after a while, the bucket was brought in.

Zhang Yan stood behind the screen and untied her clothes, revealing a piece of snow-like skin on her shoulders, with faint traces of bruising on her head, one by one, like peach blossoms in full bloom.

……

"Big lady," while serving Zhang Yan to put on makeup, Qingkui finally couldn't help but say, "...... Lu Langjun, it has been several days since he lived in this house. ”

"Hmm." Zhang Yan responded. Fu raised his apricot pit eyes again, "What do you want to say?" ”

Qingkui gritted her teeth and broke the boat, "The slave doesn't understand any big truths. But since childhood, my mother has taught slaves and maids that the most important thing for a woman in her life is to find a good man. …… The eldest lady Yujie Bingqing, entangled with an unnamed person like Lu Langjun, what is the matter? If Lu Langjun is really interested in the eldest lady, he should move out of this house first, and then invite the elders in the family to come to the door to propose marriage, and the three media and six hired people will come to marry. ”

In the mirror, Zhang Yan was silent for a long time.

After a long time, Qingkui thought she was angry, and said timidly, "Big lady, am I wrong?" ”

"Nope." Zhang Yan lowered her head and smiled, and patted Qingkui's head, "Qingkui is a good boy." ”

She turned her head and looked out of the window, the sky in the clouds was blue and bright, and a round of golden crows hung above the middle sky, without a trace of clouds.

"This year is the year of the Ugly, four years ago, in the winter and October, I married my mother under the control of my mother."

"Is the lady already married?" Qing Kui was stunned, "I don't know. It's just," she sneered, "If the lady had married Lu Langjun a long time ago, then why, these days-" said that she had nothing to do with Lu Langjun.

Zhang Yan pursed her lips and smiled slightly, thinking back on the rights and wrongs of the past, and found that she had been able to tell calmly:

"I married him when I was thirteen, and it's been four years now. In the past four years, he has treated me well, not well. When I came out, I was so sad that I made up my mind never to go back. ”

Later, however, he chased her out and found her.

There are always too many variables in fate. Happiness hides sorrow, but despair contains hope. We always have to give it a try to find out what kind of scenery we have around the corner.

"Qingkui," Zhang Yan looked at her, and suddenly said, "I'll send you back to your aunt, okay?" ”

Qingkui's face changed greatly, "Big lady, don't you want me anymore?" ”

"It's not that I don't want you, but ......" Zhang Yan smiled.

"Qingkui, there are some things I've always wanted to tell you. But it never happened. So it dragged on until now. Qingkui, you are simple, kind, and a very cute girl. Do you know why I gave you that name? ”

Qing Kui looked a little ignorant, "I don't know." ”

"Because," Zhang Yan smiled slightly, "'Aoi in Qingqing Garden, waiting for the sun'." When I first saw you at that time, I felt that you were full of vitality, and I hoped that you would be like a verdant sunflower, able to thrive and withstand all wind and rain. How can such a green sunflower be like a silk flower, inseparable from people? ”

……

"That day, in the clothing store in Shanan, I actually left by myself."

A shocked look appeared on Qing Kui's face, and the little girl suddenly panicked, "At that time, doesn't the eldest lady want Qing Kui?" ”

"Silly child," Zhang Yan's eyebrows and eyes were crooked, and she reached out to stroke Qingkui's hair, her voice was a little melancholy, "It's not that I don't want you, but that no one can afford anyone's life." ”

"At that time, I was already planning to leave Lu Langjun, so I was going to leave Shanan quietly. I've also considered taking your mother and daughter and the knife with me. However, then I thought, you were born and raised in the Northland all your life, perhaps, you have long been accustomed to the wind and sand, food, and everything in the Northland, and you may not be willing to follow me to the ends of the world like this. ”

"I can't be so selfish in deciding your fate."

Qing Kui sobbed slightly, and her eyes gradually turned red.

"Silly boy, don't cry." Zhang Yan smiled, took the handkerchief, and wiped away her tears.

"So, I went and asked Zhao Yuan, Cangtou Huang, and the knife. In the past half a year, they may have been reluctant, but they also know better than you the truth of the banquet that life is indispensable, so they finally decided to stay. Therefore, I entrusted them to Zhang Duwei of Yanmen......"

"Big lady," Qingkui had accusations in her eyes, "you didn't even ask me." ”

"Well, I was wrong. I shouldn't think that if I asked you, my aunt asked you. Zhang Yan connived, "So, Xiao Qingkui, now let me ask you again, do you plan for me to send you back to your aunt and continue to be with Xiaodao?" Or follow me to Chang'an, or any unknown place? ”

Qingkui's expression became serious, and she thought seriously for a long time before she hesitated and said, "Big lady, I'm sorry, but I still want to be with my aunt." ”

Isn't that the same?

Zhang Yan couldn't help but want to laugh, reluctantly endured it, and said softly, "Okay, then I'll have someone send you back in a few days." You have been by my side for so long, it can be regarded as our fate, and when the time comes, I will give you something, which can also be regarded as adding makeup to you and Xiaodao in the future. ”

Big tears fell from Qingkui's eyes, "Big lady, Qingkui can't bear you." ”

"Silly girl," Zhang Yan patted her back to reassure, "There is no banquet in the world that will not be dispersed, if there is fate, we will meet again in the future." ”

"Alright, now, bring me that yellow flower coat of mine." Zhang Yan said.

Qingkui wiped away her tears, waited for Zhang Yan to put on a big hat, and asked, "Big lady, are you going out?" ”

"Hmm." Zhang Yan responded gently, the corners of her lips raised slightly, "If Lu Langjun asks about me, you tell him and let him go to the bell tower in the city to find me." ”

——4,114 words, revised on May 10, 2002