My eyes widened, and my hand on my lower abdomen was shaking.

"You mean that if I continue to receive treatment, these drugs will most likely result in the child being a malformed baby, or stillborn?"

Bi Changlin didn't answer me, but his sudden silence was already the answer for me.

I was in a trance, trying to accept it.

At this moment, I suddenly felt like I was really a failure.

When I was pregnant with Xixi, I hoped that he would be born healthy and safe, but he was still pulled and fell down and gave birth prematurely, so that Xixi almost couldn't be saved, and his body has been weak since he was a child.

And this child, I gave up everything to keep him, but now this child is affected by drugs, and maybe he doesn't even have a chance to be born.

Bi Changlin kept looking at me secretly, wanting to comfort me but didn't know how to speak.

In the embarrassing atmosphere between me and him, Bi Changlin hesitated and explained to me: "Actually, you really wronged Qiao Na by being so angry with her before. ”

"Huh?" Bi Changlin suddenly held up for Qiao Na, which surprised me a little.

Bi Changlin explained solemnly: "I thought that after you slept, I deliberately took Jona outside just to tell her about your tricky situation at that time. ”

"If the dosage is not aggravated, it will not have much effect on your disease, but once the dosage is increased, it will inevitably affect the fetus in your womb. I also had a hard time choosing, so I let Jona choose, but she didn't ask me to abandon my son and mother, but asked me to do my best to keep your mother and son, no matter what the cost. ”

I was stunned, so, did I misunderstand Jona?

Bi Changlin couldn't help but sigh with emotion: "Look at Qiao Na is really loyal to you, even if she was scolded away by you, she didn't play any temper with you, nor did she explain herself, she just cared about appeasing your emotions." ”

I was startled, and guilt rose in my heart.

That's me indiscriminately scolding Joanna to let her go, and even saying a lot of excessive things.

From the beginning to the end, I never gave Joanna a chance to explain, or even trust her.

Now that Bi Changlin told me the truth, I realized that I had misunderstood her.

Bi Changlin sighed heavily, "We all know that you value this child very much, and you can even risk your own life for the sake of this child, but whether it is me as a doctor or Jona as your assistant, I don't want you to make any mistakes." ”

"It's like after you faint, your situation is dangerous. If I hadn't increased the dosage to save you, then you and the child would have been in the underworld by now. So even though I know that this medicine will affect the child in your womb, I will choose to save you first. ”

After my near-death experience, Bi Changlin finally confessed to me what he really thought.

He thought so, and so did Jona.

And because of my own speculation and misunderstanding, I made Jona suffer such a big grievance.

I knew in my heart that I was sorry for Jona, and I also knew that my choice made Bi Changlin difficult, but I still looked at Bi Changlin's eyes pleadingly, "Teacher Bi, now that my situation has been controlled and I have temporarily passed the dangerous period, you can treat it as my whole and temporarily stop all drug treatment." ”

Bi Changlin's eyes widened, "Are you crazy?!" Although your cancer cells are now under control, they may continue to spread at any time, and if you stop the medication, you are clearly looking for death! ”

Bi Changlin's face turned cold, and he rejected me sharply: "No! I can't watch you do such a stupid thing. ”

"No, it won't." I calmly analyzed with Bi Changlin: "With my current situation, I will definitely be able to survive until the birth of the child." Even if the cancer spreads, it won't spread so quickly, and I will have time to receive treatment. ”

Bi Changlin's face was still gloomy, and he frowned tightly.

"No! This is a no-no! Bi Changlin refused to let go.

And I had already made a decision in my mind.

"I don't want to risk this kid anyway. He has been in my womb for five months, and as long as I hold on a little longer, I can bring him into this world, and I can't kill his life in advance, let alone let me come to this world incompletely. ”

Bi Changlin's face was sad, and his facial features were tightly wrinkled together.

I said in a firm tone, "Tomorrow I will ask Jona to pick me up and leave, go to the hospital for a prenatal check-up, and confirm the condition of this child." As long as the child is healthy, I will stop the treatment immediately. ”

Bi Changlin looked at me with complicated eyes, "Have you really decided?" ”

"Yes." I nodded affirmatively, a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, and bluntly expressed my gratitude to Bi Changlin: "Thanks to your care during this time, it is also your treatment that my condition has been controlled, and I am really grateful to you." ”

Bi Changlin shook his head, obviously not wanting to hear me say this.

"Well, since you insist on asking for it. Then I'll do what you want. ”

Bi Changlin stood up, returned to the room with heavy steps, and did not stay to persuade me.

I know that it is very powerless for a doctor not to be able to stop a patient from going his own way.

That night, I sent a message to Jona, asking her to come and pick me up tomorrow.

Jona didn't ask anything, just answered me with a "yes".

This made me feel a little lost, thinking that Jona must still be angry with me, which is why she is so indifferent to me.

But after all, I misunderstood her in the first place, and I was not in a position to complain or blame her for anything.

The next morning, Jona's car pulled up in front of the cottage.

Seeing Jona get out of the car, I took the initiative to walk towards her, but Joanna just silently took the luggage in my hand and walked straight to the trunk.

The apology that came to my mouth was not spoken, which made me feel a bitterness in my heart.

And at this moment, Bi Changlin walked out, and my brother gave me a big bag of things.

"What is this?" Curious, I opened the bag and took a look, and it was full of wrapped Chinese herbs with prescriptions attached to them.

I was stunned for a moment, I wanted to refuse, but Bi Changlin forcibly stuffed the bag in his hand.

He said in an unhappy tone: "I know that I can't persuade you, these drugs will not do any harm to the child, they are all some medicines that stabilize the fetus and replenish qi, if you can't believe it, I can find other Chinese medicine doctors to see the prescription." ”

Bi Changlin's words made me ashamed and blamed myself for being suspicious.

I hurriedly apologized to Bi Changlin: "Teacher Bi, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that......"

"Okay, okay, during this period of getting along, I know you as a person, you don't have to explain anything to me."