I had aphasia, but it didn't make much of a difference to me.

I didn't want to say anything, I didn't have any emotion, I just looked numbly at everything in the room.

"Poetry?" Yu Chenjun called me tentatively.

I heard it, but I didn't respond in any way.

Yu Chenjun sat beside me, with a look of distress and helplessness, and comforted me: "Shishi, you are stronger, you can't just be depressed." ”

I know that they will persuade me, in the days when I was hospitalized, whether it was Gao Pan or Yuan Yue, they all came to persuade me to accept the reality and want to open a little, but Xixi's death was like a thorn, deeply pierced in my heart, painful to numbness, and could never be pulled out.

Yu Chenjun sighed and took my hand, "I can understand the discomfort in your heart now, I thought that when Su Yu passed away, he was the same as you." But Xixi's matter has not been clarified, there is still an An An waiting for you at home, you must not give up on yourself, you must cheer up quickly. ”

I slowly moved my gaze to Yu Chenjun.

As Yu Chenjun spoke, his eyes flushed and tears fell from his eyes.

I raised my hand blankly and wiped away my tears for Yu Chenjun, but my heart was empty, and I wanted to cry with her, but my eyes were so dry that I couldn't shed tears.

Yu Chenjun reluctantly pulled out a smile at me, and said softly: "I have asked the doctor, your physical condition is quite stable now, and you can be discharged from the hospital." Shall I take you to Ah Yu? We live together and we are all with you. ”

I looked at Yu Chenjun's eyes, full of sincere concern, but there was no wave in my heart.

I didn't answer, and I couldn't answer, just silently hung my head and let them arrange.

Yu Chenjun asked Yuan Yue to go through the discharge procedures for me.

That night, in order to take me away, Yu Chenjun deliberately disguised himself and left the hospital with me.

When he came to Bi Changlin's old house, Yu Chenjun knocked on the door, and soon someone came to open the door.

The door opened, and the first person I saw was Su Yu.

"Shishi, you're here!" Su Yu looked at me in surprise and pulled me into the door.

Seeing Su Yu's simple and pure smile and clear eyes, it must be that Yu Chenjun didn't tell him about Xixi.

It's good.

Su Yu's condition finally improved, and he should not be stimulated by these stimuli.

I was pulled into the house by Su Yu and looked around the whole room, which was cleaned by them very clean, and the cleaning was also very warm, not at all like the desertion when I first came.

Yu Chenjun didn't see Bi Changlin in the lobby, so he asked Su Yu: "What about Teacher Bi?" ”

Su Yu shook his head, "I don't know what he's doing, it's always hard to chase people and ask." I only know that he is out. ”

"Didn't you say when you would be back?" Yu Chenjun glanced at me and stopped talking.

"Nope."

Su Yu shook his head blankly, and Yu Chenjun frowned and sighed.

"Wait for Teacher Bi to come back, and give Ruan Shi a good look."

Hearing Yu Chenjun say this, Su Yu walked up to me and asked with concern, "What's wrong with you?" Are you sick again? And you don't want to eat well and sleep well, don't you? ”

Looking at Su Yu's eyes, I remembered Xixi.

Su Yu didn't know that Xixi had passed away, and in the explosion, Su Yu would rather sacrifice himself than protect me and Xixi.

But now I, as a mother, have failed to protect my son.

There was a pantothenic acid in my eyes, and I closed my eyes in despair, the chill in my heart was about to swallow me.

Su Yu's worried voice still sounded in his ears: "What's wrong with you?" Is something going on? ”

In the face of Su Yu's question, I didn't know how to answer, and I couldn't answer.

Fortunately, Yu Chenjun diverted the topic in time.

"It's not too early, and Shishi must be tired. Let's send her back to her room to rest. ”

Su Yu nodded, completely obeyed Yu Chenjun, and sent me back to the room.

Su Yu happily introduced to me: "This is specially arranged for you by Chenjun. I said she has a talent for interior design, you can see if you like it or not. ”

Everything in this room is brand new, which shows Yu Chenjun's intentions.

Seeing that I didn't answer, Su Yu continued to murmur: "Chenjun said, the good-looking environment is comfortable, and if you live here, your mood will also improve, which will also be conducive to the recovery of your physical condition." ”

I know Yu Chenjun's intentions, but she doesn't have to do this.

Su Yu also seemed to sense my abnormality and didn't say anything more.

"That'...... You have a good rest, tomorrow we will have a barbecue together in the yard. ”

I wasn't interested in what Su Yu said, and after he left the room, I didn't change my clothes and snuggled up on the small sofa at the end of the bed.

The bedroom is beautifully furnished, but to me it is empty.

My mind always thinks of Hei Xi, and every time I think about it, my heart feels suffocating.

I barely woke up on that little couch, always waking up suddenly and trying to call out Heehi's name, but I couldn't make any sound when I opened my mouth.

Until dawn, Yu Chenjun was not at ease, and came to my room to see me, and I was sitting on the sofa with my knees crossed, my eyes half-open, I didn't want to sleep and didn't dare to sleep.

As soon as I closed my eyes, it was the charred corpse of Heehy.

My Hee, what kind of pain did he go through? He must have been shouting "Mommy" hoarsely as the fire burned on him.

But what about me? I don't know it.

I was also full of hatred for myself, and I hated myself for not staying at the school gate when I sent him to school.

If I hadn't rushed to the playground and stayed a little longer, nothing would have happened to Heehe.

It's all my fault! I'm an incompetent mom! I couldn't give him a happy family, and I went through those things at that young age.

Now, I can't even save his life.

I hated myself and wanted to take revenge on myself, so I bit the back of my hand and didn't feel any pain at all.

"Ruan Shi!"

Yu Chenjun was frightened by my behavior, and she tore my hand away and stopped my behavior.

"Are you crazy?! Don't you want this hand?! ”

I looked over in a daze, only to see that the back of my hand had begun to bleed, and the deep tooth marks were shocking.

But I didn't feel the slightest feeling in my heart, and when I looked at my wounds, I was a little relieved.

I'm an incompetent mom and I deserve retribution.

But all the pain and revenge befell me, so why do you have to hurt my Xixi?

I raised my head and looked at Yu Chenjun, I didn't know if she would understand, I told her with my eyes, the damn person shouldn't be Xixi, it should be me, it's me!