Destination area: Lin'an Province, Zhejiang

Purpose year: the twelfth year of Emperor Taihe of the Song Dynasty

Purpose ontology: Lin'an Mansion Gentleman Brother Jia Nidao (Jia Guifei's brother, who was kicked out of the house because of his gambling habits)

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Emperor Lizong of the Southern Song Dynasty, during the Taihe period, Lin'an Mansion, Zhejiang.

The Mongolian Kublai Khan rode iron, the army pressed the border, and the Southern Song Dynasty military situation was urgent.

When the Southern Song Dynasty monarchs and ministers heard the news, they panicked.

When the emperor of the dynasty was Song Lizong, he revolved around the dragon chair nervously, crying and saying in his mouth: "Ladies and gentlemen, how is this good? ”

The Manchu civil and military wept and cried.

But crying can't solve the problem, and you still have to discuss how to retreat from the enemy.

"Fight, Weichen thinks it's impossible, our army has been sparse for a long time, and it may be difficult to parry the Mongolian iron cavalry!" Zheng Yuanqing, secretary of the Ministry of War, analyzed the situation of the enemy and made a judgment.

"Aiqing, what about peace?" Song Lizong stopped sobbing and stared at Huang Chengming, the secretary of the Ministry of Rites, with pleading in his eyes.

After many years of peace, the main battle faction has no place to stand in the court.

As the secretary of the Ministry of Rites, Huang Chengming is not unconcerned about the safety of the country, but he is powerless.

Weak countries have no diplomacy, and the truth is always in the hands of the strong.

The Song Dynasty was weak, and since Zhao Gou, these emperors have never thought about recovering lost territory, but have hollowed out their minds about how to indulge in vocal music.

The cub is not distressed to sell Yetian, this country belongs to the Zhao family, and the emperor is not in a hurry, what kind of heart do I have.

Huang Chengming is more concerned about the newly bought crickets at the moment, and I don't know how the hairy boy Jia Yidao is training.

Seeing that there is a cricket competition next month, it will be too faceless to lose to King Fu this time.

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Kublai Khan's Mongol army in the big tent

"I heard that your Song Dynasty is very good at raising crickets and fighting crickets, I don't know, is your Lin'an's southern insect or my Mongolia's northern insect powerful?" Kublai Khan, dressed in military uniform, asked the old king of the Southern Song Dynasty.

"This, naturally, your northern worm is powerful, how dare the Great Song Southern worm compete with you, this king admits defeat!" The old king said flatteringly, without the demeanor of a royal prince at all, but like a dog slave of an old rich man's family.

Syllable!

Kublai Khan thrust his short knife into the table.

The old king stumbled and almost hit the knife.

"Not comparable? Ben Khan is chopping you up! Come! Kublai Khan summoned the right and left axe men and pressed the old king to the herald table in front of the tent.

"The two countries are at war, and they will not be killed!" The old king shouted in a trembling voice.

"Great Khan, this old thing peed 。。。。。" The axe-bearer let go of the old man.

"The two countries, your Song country, can it still be called a country?" Kublai Khan's sneering face had a little more disdain.

"Are you better or not?" Kublai Khan teased the crickets in his clay pot a few times, and the sense of oppression became stronger.

"Isn't it impossible to compare? It's just that this worm is a worm after all, and it may not necessarily obey people's words, in case it hurts your pet, this king will die。。。。。。 The old man said in shock.

"You don't have to worry about this, just say it's not comparable, right? If you win, our army retreats 15 miles, no, 20 miles! Kublai Khan interrupted the old king's words, and a trace of subtle treachery flashed in his eyes.

"Compare to compare!" The old man got up from the ground and carefully opened a yellow silk cloth baggage.

The burden was spread out, and I saw that it contained a delicate jar made of brocade with a shell and clay inside.

If Kublai Khan's clay pot for raising crickets is bronze, then King Laofu's jar is the king.

In other words, this is the difference between Chery QQ and Lamborghini.

"Since it's a competition, it's a gamble, you can't just be handsome, right? What if you lose? Kublai Khan suddenly added.

"If this king loses, let the commander deal with it!" The old Fu King was confident, as if this was a winning gamble, "Dashuai, you have to keep your word!" ”

Kublai Khan's military advisor stopped him and said: "Great commander, the Song people are good at raising insects, the two armies are facing each other, the matter is big, you must not be so childish, you can't do it!" ”

"What are you afraid of, the mighty general was personally trained by Ben Shuai!" Kublai Khan was full of confidence, "Strategist, don't worry!" ”

"In the words of your Song people, a gentleman is a word, and the horse is difficult to chase!" Kublai Khan smiled contemptuously.

"Hah!" The old Fu King put on a posture and threw the python robe in front of him and behind him, and the head of the faction was like a vanguard who wanted to go into battle and kill the enemy bravely.

"General, go on, bite him and bite him for me!" Kublai Khan called the shots.

Kublai Khan's cricket "general" offensive is getting more and more fierce!

Looking at the "big horse face" of the crickets on King Fu's side, he has been fighting and retreating, not fighting, but as if he is recuperating.

"Up! Big horse face! The old Fu King saw the flaw of the "Great General", and the hind leg defense was empty, and he signaled to launch a surprise attack.

"Well done!" The "big horse face" has all the beards and tails, and the hind legs of the "general" have been broken in the basin.

The winner is decided.

Kublai Khan was a hero who did great things, and he was willing to gamble and lose, so he ordered the Mongol army to retreat 20 miles!

The old Fu King was overjoyed, hurried up, and rushed back to the capital to invite merit.

"Holy Lord, the Mongol army has retreated!" King Fu went straight to the hall to report the good news.

"Brother Wang, is this true?" Song Lizong couldn't believe his ears and stopped crying.

"My emperor is blessed with Qitian, and the Mongolian army retreats 20 miles!" King Fu raised his head and said ostentatiously.

Then, he vividly told Song Lizong how the "big horse face" outwitted the "general".

"Okay, good, I want to reward the meritorious man Dama face!" The old emperor is serious nonsense.

"How about you say you should make it a second-class official?" The old emperor seemed to think that it was not enough, and asked His Royal Highness's ministers.

"Saintly, the face of the horse is a great contribution, and Weichen thinks that he can build a temple of merit to worship, and it needs to cost the household department to come out!" Ma Jinzhong, the head of the household department, is usually the best at figuring out the old emperor's thoughts, and immediately came out to propose.

"The minister seconded the proposal and was willing to undertake the merit temple project, and immediately ordered to be the prime minister of the master craftsman." Seeing this, Liu Mingdeng, the secretary of the Ministry of Industry, said.

Okay, you're a Ma Jinzhong, you've filmed the fart, and I still have to do it.

Liu Mingdeng scolded in his heart.

"Weichen thought that he could greet hundreds of officials in the official reception pavilion to show the grace of the saint!" Qin Weihai, the secretary of the ministry, was not to be left behind, adding oil and vinegar.

The minister seconded the proposal!

……

The ministers had a rainbow fart.

"Ladies and gentlemen, how can I greet each other?" The old emperor said to himself, "Okay, I greet you barefoot, is this honor enough?" ”

"Your Majesty, you have corns on your feet, the distance is not short, and the stones are stubborn, I'm afraid it won't work!" The old eunuch Mr. Li reminded softly.

"Okay, then I and the civil and military officials, greet each other shirtless, yes, that's it!" The old emperor patted his head and said.

Who would have thought that this big head would be used as a drinking vessel by an alien monk?