Epigraph

Sometimes I think I'm a mussel, I think my eyes are all pearls, but I used my tender and soft body to grind a pearl, I thought that the pink pearl was about love, but found that it was just a wrong love, my bright eyes and tears are not for others, only for myself.

I graduated from college in 08, 22 years old, 21 years old, young, strong, naïve, full of longing for the future, simply thinking that the future will have a world of its own, at midnight after graduation dinner, I took the train to Shanghai alone with a bulky suitcase, with my young and arrogant dreams.

I was drowsy on the train, my phone was ticking, I opened my eyes and looked at the text message on the blue screen phone: Santael, don't go, I can't live without you.

My heart twitched so painfully, whimpering quietly in the No. 7 car, I turned off the mobile phone and deducted the electric board, pulled out the card and threw it into the trash can next to me, I looked at the trash can for a long time and finally turned my face to look at the night outside the window, so dark, there was not a single star.

Many years later, I think back to that night, if I got off the train at the next station and turned back to Liu Yi, maybe now we live a plain life and have a lovely daughter, who occasionally quarrels over firewood, rice, oil and salt every day when she goes to and from work, and when she is old, she sits in a rocking chair and slowly chats about the romance of our four years of college.

For example, the first date, the first time we gave each other gifts, the first time we quarreled, the first time we broke up, but my first time was not him, and I can't remember any of those once romantic details.

I got off the train at about nine o'clock in the morning, and at the south exit I sat on my suitcase and waited for my sister Sanduo, it was drizzling outside, and the warm and humid air made me almost out of breath.

My head hurts, my eyes are sore, I haven't slept on the train with my eyes open since I saw the text message, I was irritable after waiting for a long time, and after waiting for nearly an hour, my sister Sanduo appeared in front of me, and came to me soaking wet and said:

Sister, I'm sorry I'm late, I was on the night shift yesterday, and I almost couldn't get up to pick you up, or Li Mingdong called me, I just turned over and picked you up, let's go eat if I'm hungry, I was originally on fire because I waited too long, and the fire was suddenly extinguished, Li Mingdong is my sister's boyfriend, they are colleagues.

I was in a bad mood, next to a middle-aged woman in a raincoat carrying a lot of umbrellas to sell, ten yuan a hand, she kept chattering in front of my ear, my sister Sanduo was there to help me pick out, I took out the umbrella from the backpack and opened it, at that moment I had a feeling of relief, and said to myself in my heart:

Shanghai, I'm here, I will definitely survive here, and say to the three flowers next to me: Let's go! Go to eat. Sanduo saw that I had an umbrella in my hand and said with a smile:

Sister didn't expect you to look at the weather forecast in advance, I was prepared, hey sister, why did you turn off your phone.

My heart hurt so much at that moment, why did I turn it off? Even the bulky luggage next to me was packed by Yi, he is a very delicate boy, including this umbrella, he should have helped me put it in advance! My sister Sanduo chattered endlessly in my ear to introduce all the new things in front of me, and my thoughts slowly drifted to Shanghai Railway Station in the rainy season.

In the restaurant, we asked for a bowl of porridge, a bowl of noodles, the porridge is mine, Sanduo always remembered that I loved to drink porridge, and I immediately blamed myself for wanting to be angry with her at the station just now, she said to me while eating noodles:

Sister, don't worry, don't be unhappy, you will definitely find a good job with a high education, unlike me who has no education, but I have no education and settled in Shanghai, when you have a good job and make a lot of money, don't forget me, you must take me to eat a lot of delicious food, hurry up and drink the porridge, nourish your stomach, remember your favorite drink.

I kept stirring the porridge in the bowl with a spoon, and my mood was like that bowl of porridge, uncomfortable and depressed, but finally I said:

What do you say, you are my sister, you are the best in my heart, and when I work, I will definitely buy you a lot of delicious food, I will raise you, Sanduo happily covered her mouth and smiled brightly, at that moment even imagination was bitter and sweet.

We braved the heavy rain with a big suitcase to take the bus, took the bus after taking the subway, took the subway after taking the bus, and turned the bus three times before we were in the community that looked good, not big, a little old, a few children were running around, there were a lot of leftovers in the trash can next to it, and the rain was slightly sour, but I still liked it very much.

The typical southern architecture is very new to me, who has always lived in the north and studied in the north, my sister Sanduo is on the phone next to me, and I hold an umbrella and look at the old mottled walls and remember the first poem I learned in high school, "Rain Alley".