Han Jianguo and Xia Fang glanced at each other, and then Han Jianguo stretched out his finger and pointed outside:

"Go to the door and tell me."

I got up, followed him, and walked to the street gate.

I didn't rush to speak after finding a random step and sitting down, I didn't know how to say.

Xia Fang had a reminiscing expression on her face, stretched out her hand and pointed to the mulberry tree opposite the gate and said:

"I can't imagine that this tree is dying now, and it can't grow many leaves. Yiming, do you remember when you were a child, you rode on your father's neck and yelled to eat the mulberries on this tree. ”

I shook my head, not remembering anything like that.

She was not in a hurry, and said with a little pity:

"If only I had a camera."

I smiled: "Don't talk about it back then, and not now." ”

Han Jianguo interjected: "I remember that there seems to be a camera on the little snowmobile. Why don't you let her bring it over and we'll take a picture? ”

"No need."

After saying that, I took out my phone, turned on the camera, and took a picture of the tree opposite, I don't know when it died.

I looked at the photos on my phone, trying to imagine in my mind the picture Xia Fang had just described, and the magic was that I actually went back to the past through the phone.

In my mind, I was riding on the shoulders of Han Jianguo, who was not rickety at the time, stretching out my arms and pulling the mulberry leaves hard, Xia Fang was watching me cautiously beside me for fear that I would accidentally fall down, while showing a heartfelt smile.

Although it was a real thing, I couldn't be there, just like seeing the happy reunion of the family in the movie, I would only be silently envious.

I tried to recall other images, but I couldn't.

Shaking his head, he put down his phone and lit a cigarette.

I put away my thoughts and whispered to Han Jianguo and his wife:

"I don't want to know why you left in the first place, I just want to know when you're going to leave this time."

Han Jianguo pondered and said:

"Let's ······ later"

I was not surprised by this answer, and asked:

"What about the first snow in the summer?"

"She stays and lives with you. The yard that your mother and I bought is for you. This time he replied cleanly.

I hesitated a little and said:

"I agree with what you said, I will move to a new yard, but I will not marry Xia Chuxue."

"No way!" Han Jianguo was a bit unexpected, I didn't expect him to have such a big reaction.

"Why?" I asked, confused, and suddenly looked up at him, and then said:

"When the time comes, you still have to leave, just take her with you, you don't have to worry about my life or death, why bother. Why does a little girl live with me in this ravine, you don't want to support me and can't support me, now you have the ability to support her, even if not, she is also an adult, she can also find a job outside, it must be better than in this place, and then why can't you find a man with better conditions outside? ”

The more I talked, the more excited I became, I really couldn't understand what the two of them were arguing about. It's just unreasonable.

Han Jianguo was extremely determined, he just wanted to speak, but he didn't want to be preempted by Xia Fang.

"Yiming, there are some things that Mom and Dad are not good to tell you now, I was going to tell you all that day, but fortunately I endured it, and then your father didn't agree to tell you now, the reason is that it's not time yet, don't be resentful in your heart, it's not what you said, we don't care about your life or death, on the contrary, we are too concerned, so we will make this decision."

"Your father and I both want you and Xiaoxue to go to work in the big city, but there are always so many unsatisfactory things in life, right?"

Xia Fang wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Han Jianguo.

"Okay, don't say so much."

At this time, the waves in my heart were already surging against the rocks. I even forgot to put the cigarette in my mouth.

Although I kept saying that I didn't want to know the so-called truth, after listening to Xia Fang's words, although it was only a little insinuation of the truth, it was enough to cause my brain to be seriously disconnected now.

I had a strong premonition that the truth that Xia Fang wanted to talk to me that day was not what I thought the two people were ready to say.

At the same time, I also vaguely felt a trace of regret. All I wanted to know she had tried to tell me that afternoon, but I refused.

I asked stupidly:

"Why do you care too much about my life and death? If you really care, how can you ignore it for so many years? ”

Xia Fang seemed to be a little shaken under my question, she stared at me deeply, the tenderness and regret in her eyes were unobstructed at this moment, it came from the mother's eyes looking at her son, but it was a pity that there was a Han Jianguo beside her, a little rickety.

Han Jianguo immediately grabbed Xia Fang's arm, turned around and pushed him into the courtyard.

At this moment, I was a little overwhelmed, I seemed to see the maternal love and warmth I had been pursuing for a long time leave me again, and I panicked.

At the same time, my resentment towards Han Jianguo increased a little.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down.

The distant chirping of birds and cicadas became louder in the middle of the day.

After a moment of relaxation, I said again:

"If you are really forced to leave, I can choose to understand, but this will not be the reason why you left me and my grandfather in this small mountain village for 18 years, I don't care, grandpa is already lying on the kang at the moment, so I can't get my forgiveness for any reason."

Han Jianguo didn't speak, smoking quietly, I wonder if he also regrets the decision he made back then.

After a long time, he whispered:

"You'll understand."

I was silent this time, thinking about what kind of things would make me choose to abandon him for eighteen years if I had a child of my own in the future, and then I would not feel a little guilty in my heart.

I don't understand, let alone imagine, in this small mountain village, dangers and accidents are too far away from me, so I won't understand Han Jianguo and Xia Fang's original decision.

Thinking about it, I suddenly pointed to the mulberry tree and asked:

"Have you ever eaten the mulberries on it when you were a child?"

Han Jianguo thought for a moment and replied, "No." At the same time, he asked me, "Do you know the origin of this mulberry tree?" ”

"I don't know."

To be honest, I really didn't pay attention to the origin of this mulberry tree, I just remember that this tree was there when I was very young.

Han Jianguo lit a cigarette again, and said in a somewhat sad tone:

"This tree was planted by your grandfather after your grandmother was gone. Feng Shui says that planting mulberry trees in front of the door means 'mourning', and it can also accumulate yin qi, in short, it is not good. ”

I gasped and asked:

"If the implication is not good, why did grandpa plant it in the first place?"

"Because of your grandmother, she was sick all the year round, and your grandfather couldn't see it well when she found a lot of doctors, and then your grandmother was gone, so she said that she would find someone to look at feng shui so that she could choose a good cemetery. The man who watched feng shui came to our door and said that our family is heavy yin and the elderly are easy to get sick or something, and gave a suggestion that it was to plant a mulberry tree at the door. It is used to rush the 'mourning'. What does that saying goes, 'fight poison with poison'. ”

"And that kind of statement?"

"I don't know, I don't understand this thing, anyway, your grandfather believed it at the time and didn't let others touch this tree."

I thought to myself, isn't this just a liar, and he is still 'fighting poison with poison'.

Could it be that so many of my misfortunes have something to do with this mulberry tree?

"Huh. Such people should be shot. Otherwise, how could there be so much. ”

Relatively speechless, Han Jianguo didn't want to continue to talk to me at this time.

I pulled out my phone again and looked at the photo of the mulberry tree in my phone. fell into contemplation, this tree has lived for a lifetime, and in the end it will be said to be 'mourning', what will that person be said to be after living for a lifetime.

I thought of my grandfather, who was lying on the kang at the moment, and whether he wanted to ask this question too.

"What do you say this man lives all his life for?" I suddenly asked the question I had been struggling with, and it was even more ridiculous that I wanted it to be answered by a father who had abandoned me for eighteen years.

Han Jianguo's somewhat old face was also a little more moved at this moment, his deep eyes stared at the old mulberry tree opposite, and after thinking for a while, he said an answer that he was not sure about:

"To live is to live, like that tree."

"To live is to live?" I scoffed and said, "It's just a vain." ”