I'm ashamed.

The reason for this long break is that I have a problem with my personal mental state.

At its worst, it is already the degree of bipolar disorder, which has a great impact on work and life. Friends who don't know what a bipolar is, can understand that Chengdao's heart is broken and obsession gives birth to demons.

As for the cause, it is related to my complex personal growth environment, as well as the pressure of all aspects at this stage, the incomprehension of my family and the unwillingness to communicate reasonably, etc., all kinds of negative factors accumulated, and finally I couldn't bear it, and my mentality exploded.

When I first started messing around, I would play games, scrub short videos, or learn to cook. I don't play the game anymore.,I haven't logged in for almost half a year.。 I don't brush the edge video anymore, and I don't feel interesting. I don't do any dishes, and I eat them every day. Even the author group hasn't spoken for more than half a year.

It just feels ...... Tired.

Every day is very tiring and depressing.

I don't do much, and I spend most of my time playing with my phone or computer.

However, not happy at all.

I don't want to go out, and I even resist going out, and I lock myself in my room every day, dark and wasteful.

In the past few months, I have been tortured by this disease enough, in addition to taking medicine and psychological counseling, I have even used some unscientific methods. During the most torturous time, I had to listen to red songs every night to fall asleep.

The editor approached me several times and asked me to continue or open a new book, but after I rejected it a few times, I wondered if I had run away with another website.

No. It's just sick and can't write.

Later, the second stupid (the author who became a top-notch author after listening to persuasion) was too worried about my state, and it happened that their family was on vacation in Hainan, so they called me over to relax. When we met, they complained about me: "Can you not have a self-contained face."

I haven't spoken to someone for too long, and my language function has deteriorated.

I stayed in Hainan for a while, and I discussed a lot of creative brain-hole materials related to writing. I also watched a lot, on various platforms, and I feel that I have regained my love for it.

It can be seen that mentality has a really big impact on writing.

I'm trying to return to normal as soon as possible, everyone is willing to continue to support, I am grateful, and I feel that it is not reluctant to wait and see first, it is indeed my fault and my problem. If you are wrong, you will admit it, and stand firm when beaten, and there is still self-knowledge of this.