Having and then losing is a more painful experience than not having one.

Tang Muye suddenly remembered a sentence - "I only care about what I once had, I don't care about eternity!" ”

When I saw this sentence before, I felt that in the face of feelings, having such an attitude might also be a kind of free and easy, although I couldn't keep it, but I once had it, and that was enough.

However, after experiencing it himself, he realized that between possession and loss, there is an inseparable pain, which is by no means so free.

Since Jiang Xiaoya left, he has been in a trance for the past few days, and sometimes Tang Yihuan shouted his father several times before he came back to his senses.

And during this time, he worked alone, and his speed was a lot slower, he could only earn one hundred and fifty or six a day, as if he couldn't lift his spirits, and the whole person felt sluggish.

Tang Muye also knew that his state was not right, but he couldn't adjust it for a while, and he often tossed and turned at night and couldn't sleep, and he didn't want to get up in the morning.

In this way, day by day, Tang Muye's heart was empty all day long, he got up in the morning to send his children to school, then went to work, picked up his children from school after work, went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, went home to cook and eat, and coaxed the children to sleep, almost living an instinct, and he didn't have to think about how to change it.

Day after day, every day is almost the same, as if it's been copying and pasting.

It is also on the weekend that I will take my children out to play, cheer up, accompany my children to the park, or go to the supermarket.

During this period, only Su Zihan occasionally called or sent messages to chat, asking Tang Yihuan how he was doing, because he was busy with work, he didn't come over to eat together or anything.

Although Tang Muye has a mobile phone, he rarely surfs the Internet, and occasionally checks Baidu, or reads novels, Su Zihan complains every time he calls and complains that he doesn't take the initiative to contact, and he also says sorry every time, but after chatting, he is still like that, and he really has no idea of calling or sending messages.

What to talk about? Everything that should be said has been said, there is no topic in small talk, and there is nothing to say, isn't that an awkward conversation?

Thinking of this, Tang Muye remembered what Jiang Xiaoya had said, saying that he had a difficult personality and couldn't do business.

Think about it, you can't chat, how to attract guests!

It's almost May Day in a blink of an eye, and Su Zihan called a week in advance-

"Tang Dacai, you are still so cold, you wait for me to contact you every time."

"How do you remember this nickname, no one has called it for many years."

"I don't have any other memories of you, all I can remember is you in that time period, why, didn't the great genius later write as a model essay?"

"Oh, and I'll still read it in class, but no one knows the nickname. You've never shouted that before, why did you remember to shout this today? ”

"Because I suddenly want to travel, and the ones that are closer to this side are Suzhou Gardens and West Lake, so I naturally thought of the four great talents in the south of the Yangtze River, so I remembered your nickname."

"It's a misname, and it sounds ironic."

"Then you should shout more, you need to stimulate more now, otherwise it will be too numb."

"Well, I also feel like I'm about to become a soulless walking corpse, living a step-by-step life every day, just like a programmed robot, without any brains."

"Let's go out for a walk, do you have any plans for May Day?"

"I don't have any plans, I'm going to take the kids around casually."

"You haven't been to West Lake, have you? Why don't we go to West Lake together? ”

"I ...... I don't really want to go. ”

"I don't think it's fake that I don't want to go, I'm afraid of spending money!"

"Huh...... It's not that I'm afraid of spending money, it's that I don't have money to spend for the time being! ”

"It's okay, I'll go by car, and I'll take you with me, anyway, I'll go alone, and I can have fun with you!"

"That's not good, you took us to play for two days last time, we can't be like this all the time, you better go alone, take more photos and come back and we'll take a look."

"What did you say? I'm alone, I'm too lazy to go, and traveling alone is too boring. Otherwise, I'll lend you money, and we'll go together, and then pay me back when you have money, how about it? ”

"That's ...... Yes, you have to be fully mentally prepared, my current situation may not be able to meet in the short term, so don't affect your life. ”

"No, no, I don't have any urgent need for money at the moment, so it's decided, you guys get ready, I'll drive you to pick you up on May Day."

"Okay, we'll wait for you at home."

"Oh, by the way, how are you getting along with the roommate?"

"It's been almost a month since she moved out, and I don't have a share house now, just me and Huanhuan live in a house."

"Moved away? Why didn't you say that? ”

"You didn't ask me, why didn't I think to say this!"

"And is her room empty all the time?"

"Yes, it's empty, and I'm too lazy to move, so I've been living in the second bedroom I lived in before."

"Then I might as well go over on the night of the 30th and stay in that room, wouldn't it be better to set off directly from you on May Day!"

"It's okay, what color quilt you like, I'll prepare it for you, and you can live when you come over."

"I don't want you to buy it, I'll buy it myself, I don't know what I like, I only know when I go to the supermarket and see it, and I'll just put it in the car and bring it over when the time comes." You don't have to prepare anything, I'll bring what I need to use myself. ”

"Okay, then it's up to you."

"Oh, by the way, it's not that you don't have to prepare anything, you have to cook some more food on the night of the 30th, well——, four people, my sisters who live with me will also go together."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Can you order your own food? Then I want to eat fish in sour soup, can you make it? ”

"This is indeed a bit difficult, because there is no sour soup in my hometown, and the taste may be different!"

"It's okay, just a little bit of that taste, I just want to eat that."

"Okay, then I'll make sour soup fish and wait for you."

Not long after hanging up the phone, the mobile phone received a message, clicked on it and saw that it was Su Zihan's transfer information, seeing that the amount was 5,000 yuan, Tang Muye couldn't help but show a wry smile, do you need so much money for a trip?

However, after hesitating for a while, he clicked to receive.

Now he has a low income, but the expenses are not small, so the money on the card is always not saved, and he has been working for more than two months after the year, he has been thrifty, and he has only saved 4,600 yuan until now, mainly to save tuition for Tang Yihuan, twice a year, even if the small class fee is slightly lower, it will take five or six thousand a semester.

To do this kind of temporary work, a normal performance a day, it is only about 18 yuan, about 4,000 yuan a month, and the rent plus water and electricity bills are almost half spent.

Life is tight, and it is really not suitable for travel.

If he really wants to travel, his budget will not be as much as 5,000 yuan, he thought that it would be good to borrow 2,000 yuan from Su Zihan, but he didn't expect her to transfer 5,000 at once, and he was embarrassed to say no, let alone return 3,000 yuan, so he had to store it in the WeChat wallet first.

It would be nice if there were temporary workers like installing air conditioners, two hundred and eight a day, and the proprietress also helped to watch the children, and there was no need to rest for a month, and she could earn almost eight thousand, so she didn't have to worry about survival.

Unfortunately, that kind of work is also unavoidable, and the installation team will go wherever there is work, and it is impossible to fix it in one place for a long time.

As for advertising, it is unstable, and it is inconvenient to always take children to work, so I don't do it anymore.

And manual work, always burying his head and doing it, the cervical spine can't stand it, Tang Muye doesn't want to do it, so he still accompanies the child on weekends and takes him out to play.

After Ultraman disappeared, Tang Yihuan's favorite thing to play now is to ride the small battery car left by Qin Ruoling around the community, and when he arrived at the square, he took the remote control car sent by his mother to play on the ground.

There are still many children in the community, and Tang Yihuan has never lacked playmates, but none of them play as well as Qin Yifan.

Tang Muye felt that it was quite boring when he was resting, the community in the city was completely different from a village in the countryside, in the village, everyone was very familiar, when he was bored, he could sit down and chat with him wherever he went, and he didn't have to be polite when he got to the meal, he drank the wine, whether he went to someone else's house or someone else went to his house, it was the same.

However, the community in the city is different, many people do not know each other, and even the neighbors rarely see each other, and people seem very strange to each other.

In such a boring life, he suddenly looked forward to the early arrival of May Day, and it was indeed a good choice to go out and have fun.

Of course, time is always passing slowly, neither speeding up, nor staying, but when you are happy, you will ignore its existence, and when you wake up suddenly, you can't help but sigh, time flies so fast.

On the contrary, in the days of boredom, it will feel that time flies too slowly, and I wish that the day would pass in the blink of an eye.

Tang Muye felt that he had survived this week.

On the afternoon of April 30, after picking up the children from work, he went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, according to Su Zihan's requirements, he bought two carp of about one catty, bought some pork, cabbage, mushrooms, tofu, bean sprouts and three tomatoes, and other things are still at home, and he will go out to travel tomorrow, so he will not buy more.

When he got home, Tang Muye immediately quickly washed rice and cooked, and then began to make fish in sour soup.

As a specialty dish in my hometown, many people in my hometown can make it, but the taste is also very different, the ingredients are different, the sourness is different, and the taste is different.

It's just that in my hometown, every family has hot and sour, most people also have pickled tomatoes, some people still have clear sourness, those sour tastes, are unique to the characteristics of their hometown, and here, there is none, only fresh tomatoes can be used, the sour taste is not enough, in order to increase a little sourness, Tang Muye will put the whole tomatoes directly in the water to cook, and then crush them with a spatula after cooking, and then add a little white vinegar, so that the soup will be more sour.

It was almost seven o'clock, and when Tang Muye's sour soup fish was about to be ready, he heard a knock on the door.

Tang Muye opened the door and saw that it was Su Zihan who came, followed by a slightly chubby beautiful girl, both of whom were carrying large bags of things in their hands, in addition to quilts and sheets, as well as gifts.

As soon as Su Zihan entered the house, she saw the steaming hot pot on the table, she took a few deep breaths, and then said happily: "Wow, it's so fragrant, it's good, it's good, it's just this taste, I can finally eat the sour soup fish from my hometown today." ”