For a long time to come, I was in excruciating pain. Physically and mentally exhausted, I was constantly tempted to give up, but at the same time, I knew that there was no way back.

I remember that day, on the way to the transfer process, my father walked ahead on his own, not even looking at me, as if we were strangers who had nothing to do with each other. Feeling guilty, I endured the curious gaze of the passer-by while pretending not to care about his indifference and anger. On the way back, my father still didn't bother to travel with me. As my father walked faster and faster, I was left behind and couldn't keep up with him, but I felt so aggrieved that I could only choke up. Approaching the school gate, my father suddenly turned around and yelled at me, "Hear me clearly! This is your last chance to graduate your own business! I don't have that much spare money for you to splurge like this! "At that time, I couldn't tell whether it was because of fear or despair, and I finally couldn't stop crying. However, my tears still could not stop my father's hurried footsteps, nor could I get the slightest sympathy and comfort.

My parents instilled in me from a young age that I had no choice but to study. Growing up in the information age, I naturally understand that life is not as they say, there is only one choice. However, as I grew older, and as I gradually realized that I was worthless, even if I had no choice but to admit that there was some truth in their words. I can't imagine what I could do other than study. With my limbs not diligent, my mind dull, my mind and my hands not skillful, it was really difficult for me to find a job that I was qualified for. Therefore, I had no choice but to read.

In fact, I didn't have the courage to leave the campus and step into the society, and I didn't have the courage to face the unknowns, responsibilities and difficulties that followed...... I'm not ready...... Therefore, I had to grit my teeth and finish my studies and never drop out...... At least get your hands on the high Chinese...... I have always followed the teachings of my parents, studying and going to school, not only to escape from reality, but more importantly, I have always harbored an unrealistic fantasy: I hope that the power of knowledge will one day create miracles and make us suddenly good enough to cope with everything.

Probably too lazy to repeat what I said earlier, my parents didn't ask me why I left early. "What's wrong with letting people say a few words? It doesn't hurt or itch, don't you just ignore it? No matter how ugly it is, won't it pass after a few days? Who's going to target you all day long? "As they say, many things, just think about it. Compared with the scars of objective existence, the psychological injuries that cannot be seen, touched, or confirmed are simply not worth mentioning.

Rumors and harsh words poured down on me like a continuous stream of icy and biting waves, and then drowned me. I exhausted all my strength and surrendered. I lived more carefully than before, even to the point of trembling. I was surprised to find myself in a state of tension from time to time, afraid to move for half a minute, for fear of being criticized. Whatever I did and how I did it seemed to be wrong, and in the end, even my very existence was wrong...... Luckily, this time, the homeroom teacher reached out to me and allowed me to hide in the office to catch my breath during recess. Unfortunately, as a student, I inevitably have to appear in front of others. Even if my classmates would show mercy to my subordinates for the sake of the class teacher, the other students would not let go of this rare opportunity to think that they were doing justice.

In these loneliest and most painful days, I can't help but think of Jing Ye Sailing. I hope that he will return to school soon, so that I can find some solace and strength in the endless despair. I don't pray for a hero who stands up for me and stands up against those who are ill-willed, all I need is a companion who trusts me unconditionally and supports me. I was unreasonably convinced that Jing Yehang would not hesitate to fight with everyone and choose to stand on my side, just as I was sure that Xingyuan would choose me. I am convinced that the reason why he has not arrived yet is because he is so simple that he does not know all this. Who else but me will tell him about the school?

I thought that if I held back my tears, silently endured injustice and suffering, and didn't complain to Jing Yehang and ask for help, he wouldn't look down on me. However, the truth is that no matter how hard I tried, it was in vain, because he had already made up his mind......