Unexpectedly, the senior sister I met by mistake pushed open a gap in my locked heart, allowing me to reconnect with the outside world. From that day on, my sister would send me messages from time to time, most of which were simple greetings and encouragement, and occasionally she cared about my studies and life, which was very heartwarming. Unconsciously, I developed trust and dependence on this kind senior sister. After a winter vacation correspondence, my sister has become the only friend I can talk to. Since her experience was very different from mine, when I confided in her about her grades, she was ashamed to say that she could not provide any advice or help. Because of this, she began to forward articles about the painting profession to me. From interview techniques to career guidance, it's extremely detailed. With her patient answers, I gradually gained a certain understanding of this major, and even thought that it was not a good choice at the most tiring moment. Although I had a good impression of my alma mater, which my sister praised her, I could not imagine filling it out on my application form, because I knew that my parents would never approve of me studying art. You need to know that in their eyes, people like me who are not gifted should study art at all, let alone that its tuition and fees are much higher than ordinary majors. Although my sister kept reassuring me that painting students would not have to worry about finding a part-time job, as long as they were willing to endure hardships, not to mention living expenses, and even tuition and miscellaneous fees could be earned on their own, I still did not dare to try it easily, after all, it was about my future, my life, and I would not take risks if there were more secure options. When I learned what I thought, my sister seemed very lost, but she didn't continue to persuade me. In the following time, she never mentioned the matter of letting me apply for her school, and even when I was on the verge of collapse and wanted to give up taking the college entrance examination, she just kept comforting me, as if she was afraid of accidentally saying something, letting me know that I didn't have no other choice.

In a blink of an eye, it was the second semester of the third year of high school, and the classroom was shrouded in tension and anxiety all day long, and the oppressive atmosphere was breathless. As the course progresses, the exercises become more difficult to understand, and the ideas for solving the problems become more and more complex. Faced with those topics that need to be considered comprehensively in combination with multiple knowledge points, I am even more desperate to cry. A week before filling in the volunteers, in order to alleviate our anxiety, the head teacher shared with us what he had observed over the years: there are many students who perform at a high level in the college entrance examination every year, so we can be more confident, give it a go, and fill in one or two schools that we really like. At first, this inspiring remark really encouraged many people, but as the experience of the previous brothers and sisters spread, its credibility instantly dropped to zero.

"What kind of extraordinary play, that's all fooling people, do people still beat gongs and drums to tell others when they brush questions at home all night every day?" A girl said indignantly.

"I heard a senior sister say that last year's senior brother who made rapid progress in just one month and finally entered the top 50 of the college entrance examination in the college entrance examination was all due to the one-on-one tutor he hired at home." The other girl took over mysteriously.

"Yes, every subject was invited, and it was said that it cost a lot of money...... "Another girl chimed in."

"Looks like cram school isn't enough......" A boy next to them poked his head out and joined the conversation.

"Do you have the contact information of that senior brother? I also want to ask the same tutor to ......" the girl who opened the topic asked anxiously.

"Why don't we invite it together? One to three is actually enough, and it can be a lot cheaper. ”

"So how much is a lesson? I'm a little tempted......"

"I don't know the specifics...... It's much more expensive than cram school anyway......"

"Isn't this nonsense...... The cram school is one-to-many, and there is no comparison at all......"

"Haha......"

Listening to their words, my heart suddenly cooled in half. It took me a whole semester to convince myself to accept the gap caused by the tutoring, and now they are planning to hire a tutor to widen the gap even further. I don't believe in my luck, just as I don't believe in my own strength. After that day, I gave up the struggle completely. Instead of wasting energy, it is better to admit defeat early, which is more relaxed. So, while I felt sorry for myself and complained about others, time, workbooks, and tutoring classes made me fall further and further behind. I became more and more withdrawn due to my low self-esteem, and I did not want to deal with anyone, including my sister. I didn't reply to her messages, and I barely resumed my correspondence until she came to the school to find me and enlighten me. Under the remote supervision of my senior sister, I hastily filled in the two schools and handed in the volunteer intention form. On the day I filled out the online application, the class teacher called me to talk. Probably out of consideration for my self-esteem, the head teacher did not choose the location in the office, but deliberately found a quiet corner of the corridor, which looked more like a small talk between teachers and students.

"I took a closer look at your volunteer form......

"Hmmm......"

"And then there are a couple of questions I want to ask you......"

I lay silently on the railing, trying to pretend that nothing had happened.

"Judging from last year's admission scores, there is a high probability that your first choice will be invalid......" The head teacher pondered for a while and asked, "Are you not clear about this situation, or do you have any other ideas?" ”

"I'm playing." I replied in an understated tone. In fact, my answer is not entirely a lie. I know better than anyone that I don't have the slightest chance of getting my first choice. And the reason why I will fill in this school is because it is the school that Xingyuan yearns for the most. I hope to take this opportunity to remember Xingyuan, even if it is just a trivial matter of filling in the same volunteer.

"Volunteering is a very serious matter, how can you take your future as a child's play!" Hearing my words, the head teacher's face suddenly sank, and his tone became stern.

"The future? What is the future of my grades? I smiled wryly.

"There are still two months before the college entrance examination, so it's too early to give up...... the head teacher frowned and reproached.

"You don't know, I don't have the conditions to participate in cram schools, let alone the conditions to hire a cram teacher, excuse me, how can I catch up with others in such a situation?"

The head teacher was silent for a moment before replying. "I'm not deliberately avoiding the issue of unfairness, it's just that for now, there's no point in discussing it. Besides, why should you compare yourself to others? The head teacher sighed, and his gaze became much more relaxed.

"Isn't there a ranking for every exam? Doesn't that make us compete with others? Can...... I don't have anything...... What to do to fight with others......" After speaking, the grievances and indignation accumulated during this period of time burst out, and I couldn't help but feel sad and cry hysterically.

"Yin Ran, to be a man, you must be able to bend and stretch. When you have the ability to compete, you can compete with others, but when you think you can't change, you might as well turn your eyes to yourself and think that it is better to try to get more points. The head teacher looked at me tolerantly as I cried breathlessly, and then continued for a long time: "Don't be discouraged, in fact, your second choice is quite good, as long as you work harder, you may be able to pass the exam...... But...... If you still want to continue your studies, I suggest you fill in a guaranteed school......"

I wiped my tearful face with my sleeve and realized how ashamed I was. "If nothing else, I'll go first."

"Let's go back......" The head teacher shook his head helplessly.

That night, after dinner, I hid in my room in a daze, and didn't rush to the website to fill in the application half an hour before the deadline for submitting the application. Luckily, my parents didn't interfere with my choice, or they didn't know anything about completing the online application today, so I successfully filled in the only school I knew that could be used as a guarantee. With the SMS notification of the successful submission arrived, everything seemed to be settled.

In the days of the final sprint, I did my best, and I was worthy of the class teacher's good guidance. It's a pity that the miracle didn't happen to me, and in the end, I missed my second choice by a few points. On the day I returned to school for the graduation ceremony, the campus was filled with sadness. Perhaps infected by the rare expression of true feelings from my classmates, for a moment, I felt lost and regretful that I could not fit in. After receiving the admission letter, I silently left the classroom full of laughter and laughter, and said goodbye to my classmates who had become strangers without hesitation. The thought of being able to completely get rid of those gossips and malicious slander from now on made me feel indescribably relaxed and excited, and I couldn't help but speed up my pace, and I wanted to leave the school immediately. Unexpectedly, I was intercepted at the school gate.

"Wait!"

At a glance, I recognized that the two swaggering girls who were blocking me were He Xinyi's friends. "What?" I glared at them impatiently, but felt an inexplicable anger welling up in my heart.

"Look at her face, I really think I'm amazing!" One of the girls glared at me and scolded me viciously.

"If it weren't for Xinyi interceding for you! Hum! The other girl also showed disdain.

"It's really not white, why should Xinyi help this kind of person!"

"yes, it's not worth it at all!"

"What do you mean?" I stared at them in surprise and suspicion, completely unsure of what they were saying.

"I don't want to think about why no one bothered you!"

"If it weren't for Xinyi's face, would you be able to graduate without any danger?"

"If you have a little conscience, say thank you to Xinyi, although she is not uncommon!"

With that, they pushed me away and walked straight in the direction of the classroom. I froze in place, looking at their backs as they faded away, hesitated for a long time, and finally decided to go home as planned.

And just like that, my high school career came to an end.