Li Yanan's matter was widely publicized by the little speaker Jin Yu, and the whole class knew about it. No one asked Li Yanan, but many people looked at her secretly. Fang Jia looked at Li Yanan with some sadness, she didn't know how to tell Li Yanan, but it could be seen from her eyes that she felt worthless for Li Yanan.

Li Yanan was like sitting on pins and needles in class, and later when she was in a big class, she saw that even the students in the outer classes began to point fingers at her, she gritted her teeth, and remembered what Chen Xu said to her during the winter vacation: Before doing everything, prepare for the worst, see if you can afford the consequences, and whether you will regret it when you think about it in the future!

Li Yanan feels that what kind of choice he makes, what kind of consequences he has to bear, he has already made a choice, and there is no turning back. I'm about to graduate, let's get my diploma! The people in the dormitory no longer talk to Li Yanan, so she had to go to the rental house every day. However, human beings are social animals, and only when their hearts are strong enough can they be able to live alone without being harmed.

One day, Chen Xu was studying in the library, and Li Yanan suddenly walked up to her and sat down. Chen Xu glanced at her and didn't speak, and continued to study. It's true that the library is not a good place for conversation. At noon, Chen Xu was tired and was about to go to dinner, Li Yanan packed up his books and walked out of the library with her. Chen Xu turned his head to look at her, "You have something to do with me?" Li Yanan looked at Chen Xu, "What do you say?" I want to apologize to you, I used to misunderstand you and think you were pretending to be high-minded, and of course, you certainly don't care what I think of you. But you are really a person with a very bottom line, if Jin Yu found out about this at the beginning, the city would have been full of wind and rain, and I would not have stopped for more than half a year. ”

Chen Xu looked at her, "Everyone is an adult, how you choose is your business." I don't have the right to point fingers at you, you have to take shortcuts, and you will have to bear the consequences. There is no such thing as a free lunch, and there will be no pie out of thin air, you can just feel good yourself. You don't have to thank me, because it doesn't have anything to do with me, I don't have that much time to worry about other people's business. ”

Li Yanan still said sincerely, "You are really good, at least don't do things that harm others and yourself." I misunderstood you in the past and said things I shouldn't have said, and I apologize to you today. Chen Xu didn't expect that when Li Yanan's matter broke out, she suddenly ran over to apologize to herself, was it just because she didn't tell others about it?

Li Yanan said a little awkwardly: "Chen Xu, I know that you have never been my friend, but we have always been roommates!" Aren't you still in the same class? Do you have time? I'll treat you to dinner at noon! I have some things that I want to talk to someone about, I really can't find anyone, I know that there are some things that others can't empathize with, and it will be annoying for others to listen to it, but I don't have anyone to say that I will go crazy. Can you please give me some time to listen to me. ”

Chen Xu looked at her, "Okay, I'm going to eat anyway, so you don't have to invite me to eat, so let's go to the cafeteria to eat, if you can still eat the food in the cafeteria." Let's finish our meal in the cafeteria and go for a walk around the lake! Fortunately, it wasn't too cold today. ”

Two people ate in the cafeteria. Li Yanan said, "My story is a bit long, can you go to the café outside with me and sit for a while?" Although the weather is not too cold today, I still feel quite cold after being outside for a long time. I didn't pay attention to keeping warm after the miscarriage, and I was afraid of the cold, so I couldn't stay outside for too long. Chen Xu agreed. The two of them came to a small café on the corner outside the school and sat down, and Li Yanan ordered two cups of coffee. Chen Xu was a little unaccustomed to drinking this thing, bitter. Li Yanan stirred the coffee in the cup with one hand, and only looked up for a long time before he looked up and said, "Chen Xu, I really admire you, you can live so tenaciously alone, but I couldn't hold on to this road at that time." My mother used to be a primary school teacher, and she only had a salary of 80 yuan a month at that time, but my mother loved this job very much, and she liked to be respected and regarded as a literate person. But later, when the last batch of private teachers became regulars, she was brushed off because she did not have a diploma. Therefore, my mother has always paid great attention to my studies, so that I must have a diploma to take a shot. I have had excellent grades since I was a child, and I have always been a source of pride for my mother. But then my father was injured while working outside the home, and he could no longer earn money, and the family only had a few acres of thin land, and the income was not enough to support the family.

I could only take out student loans when I went to college. People are very strange, the poorer they are, the more afraid they are afraid that others will look down on them, obviously I haven't done anything wrong, I study hard, and my grades are good, but my inferiority complex accompanies me like a shadow. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I changed dorms, and I knew that two people would move out when the six-person dormitory became a four-person dormitory, but if I changed to a different four-person dormitory, I wouldn't feel inferior, but because I had a student loan, I had to go to the six-person dormitory like everyone else. The day I left that dormitory building, I felt that I had never been so ashamed, I was only 400 yuan short of the accommodation fee every year, it was not that I couldn't get the 400 yuan, but the stipulation that I was a poor student could not live in a four-person dormitory, this naked contempt felt like an invisible whip to my face, and that day was a day of great shame for me.

I originally thought that as long as I studied hard and graduated successfully, graduated from a prestigious school, found a job to earn a high salary to subsidize my family, and paid off my student loans, I would have a bright future. But then my father died, and only my mother and younger brother were left in the family, and my younger brother was not a good student, and he did not study well, so he only went to a junior college, but he spent a lot more money than me to go to college. The money from student loans is simply not enough for other purposes. I want to save some of my money to support him, so that my living expenses are not enough, and I also try to do part-time jobs like you, to work, but because of my inexperience, I am always bullied. Later, I met Wang Hao when I was handing out flyers, and he felt good about himself. Because he saw me pitiful, he sent me dozens of dollars more, I could have refused, but I was reluctant to refuse, dozens of dollars were enough for my living expenses for several days. After going back and forth, the two of us got acquainted, indeed, I am very grateful to him, but I can't talk about liking, you also see what he looks like, it's hard to give birth to liking from the bottom of my heart.

Later, he confessed to me, saying that he liked me, that I was pure, that I was strong, and I knew that this was the usual method of deceiving girls, but what to do? I can't resist his temptation, or rather, I can't resist the temptation of money. He is addicted to a lot of people, and he is not strong at all. So I didn't have to serve him a few times a month, and he rented me a small one-bedroom house across the street from the school. I have to say that he is very disgusting, thinking that he is very attractive, thinking that I love her, so he refuses to give me money directly, but will buy me some things, I can only be cheeky and quietly return part of the things, get a little money, give my mother some family, and then give my brother a part. I don't look good, and I can't sell it for a high price. So I was very satisfied, because this man was infertile, so he was reluctant to do measures, and I was pregnant during the summer vacation, and I was going to go to school, and I didn't plan to keep the child. Not to mention, the doctor said there were signs of threatened miscarriage. I told him I was pregnant in order to get some money from him for nutrition and abortion. Unexpectedly, he actually asked me whose child I was, saying that he had asthenospermia and that I could not conceive. I was sad and embarrassed. I consulted the doctor, and the doctor said that asthenospermia and threatened miscarriage have a certain relationship. I lied to him for money and said that it was I who was suspected of being too sad to kill the child myself. He also secretly checked on the Internet, only to know that asthenospermia can make a woman pregnant, and he felt guilty, so he gave me 20,000 yuan.

This time, in order to stabilize me, he also gave me a bank card, saying that it was the company's dividend card, which had more than 1 million, and said that there were hundreds of thousands of dividends at the end of the year. You used to say that you were right, and I don't think what I'm doing right now. But at this point, I want to graduate smoothly, and now I have earned almost 100,000 yuan from him, in addition to my brother and my mother, there are tens of thousands of yuan. After I graduate, if I can be admitted to work in the system, I will have no worries about food and clothing, and it would be best if I could find the right person to marry, even if no one married me, at least I would not have a problem eating. I don't have the ability to get rid of him yet. ”

Chen Xu asked puzzledly: "Why are you telling me this?" I don't sympathize. Li Yanan smiled a little sadly, "I don't need sympathy." Sympathy makes me feel disgusting, and even I look down on myself. I feel sorry for myself and it doesn't make me feel comfortable. I just wanted to find someone to talk to, I couldn't talk to my mother, I couldn't talk to my brother, and when I wanted to talk, I realized that I didn't even have a friend. When I first went to college, Fang Jia and I had a good relationship, but then I didn't want to be friends with her, originally the two of us were about the same, but later her family conditions improved. People are really strange sometimes, seeing that Jin Yu's family is rich, and Lin Zihan and Wang Yuqi's family conditions are not bad, I don't feel anything, but Fang Jia got better all of a sudden, but I didn't adapt to it, this is the bad thing about human nature! ”

Chen Xu didn't try to persuade Li Yanan to leave the man, she just said softly, "Li Yanan, just do what you think is right, don't care too much about what others say." People don't live for others to see, some people take shortcuts, some people pick the difficult road, no matter which way is our own choice, there is no need to complain, and there is no need to explain to anyone, I still say that, just be worthy of yourself, you don't regret it when you think about it in the future. The joys and sorrows of human beings are not connected, and it is difficult for people to empathize, so sympathy is really cheap and unbelievable. Again, I don't sympathize with you, but I have no grudge against you, I hope you live better and better, and live the life you really want. ”

A tear from Li Yanan fell into the coffee cup, "Thank you Chen Xu." I admire you very much, you can firmly follow your own path, move forward according to your own established ideas, no matter how hard and difficult it is, you can persevere, and I really hope that your wishes will come true. ”