"Oh." Cai Jiayi didn't ask her what nightmares she had, but said, "Do you feel better now?"

Shen Nianchu closed his eyes, "Hmm."

But after a while, she opened her eyes again, "Perhaps, it's because it's too dark after turning off the lights, and I've been a little afraid of the dark since I was a child."

"That's ......," Cai Jiayi smiled understandingly.

She took her hand off the light switch and said, "Then let's not turn off the light...... It's not early, I'm going to sleep too, good night."

Shen Nianchu raised his eyes to look at her, his expression was a little unspeakable, and when he saw that she was leaving, he finally opened his mouth and said with a little crampedness, "Can you, can you not leave first, I'm alone, I'm still a little scared."

[The problem of slow update of new chapters has finally been solved in the ability to change the source, here download huann.change the source, and view the latest chapters of this book on multiple sites at the same time. 】

「……」

Cai Jiayi turned to look at her, her hands around her chest, and her expression was quite complicated.

But after a while, he walked over to her bed and sat down.

"Okay, I'll stay a little longer."

「…… Thank you."

Shen Nianchu lowered his head, put a pair of white little hands on the quilt, grabbed the quilt for a while, released it for a while, and didn't make a sound for a long time.

Cai Jiayi raised her hand to cover her mouth and yawned quietly.

At this time, Shen Nianchu suddenly looked at her.

Cai Jiayi immediately closed her mouth and smiled at her.

"I'm so sorry......" Shen Nianchu whispered a little embarrassed, "It's so late to let you stay with me."

"It's fine." Cai Jiayi smiled again, and said calmly, "You have experienced a lot of things today, and you are in a strange place and a strange bed...... It's normal to have nightmares if you don't sleep well."

Shen Nianchu's eyes drooped, and after a moment of silence, he followed a light statement: "I will be afraid of the dark, in fact, it has something to do with my mother."

"Oh." Cai Jiayi nodded subconsciously, and it took a second to react, "Your mother? What's wrong?"

Hearing her question, Shen Nianchu was also momentarily dazed.

Want to go on? She doesn't know what the relationship between herself and Cai Jiayi is now, after all, she used to hate each other very much, and the other party also said that he didn't like her.

At the beginning, the other party was very clear in her heart, that is, the rival in love, the person who snatched Chen Jiayu, and her competitor.

But today, under this series of events, she suddenly found that this positioning has become ambiguous.

Is it the enemy? I don't seem to hate her that much. She is not a person who does not distinguish between good and bad, and has no conscience, the other party reached out to her when she was most vulnerable and helpless, not to mention for what reason, but these help are real, and then mention "hate" or something, it seems that she is narrow-minded.

Is it a friend? But it doesn't seem to be quite like that. What's more, she doesn't even know what a real friend looks like.

At this moment, the relationship between her and Cai Jiayi seems to have become very delicate.

Neither an enemy, nor a friend, nor somewhere in between.

Rather, it's something very different.

Maybe it's because of the change in her positioning, maybe it's because of the fear brought by that nightmare, maybe it's the helplessness of the day and the loneliness of the night, maybe it's because I want to break the loneliness of sitting speechless, Shen Nianchu suddenly had something to say.

….

She bit her lip for a moment, then spoke again.

"Because my mother always believed that children's independence should be trained early, so when I was very young, I slept in my own room. I remember very well that one time, when my father accompanied me to the book store, I accidentally turned to a fairy tale in which the little princess was captured by a demon in the dark."

"That night, when I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the dark room, I was suddenly scared and started crying."

"Dad came and asked me why I was crying, and I said I was afraid of the dark......

"Daddy wants to help me

Turn on the light, my mother didn't allow it, she said, the more afraid of the dark, the more I have to work hard to overcome it, and locked me in a dark room alone, telling me when I don't cry, I am not afraid of the dark, I can come out. And after that, whenever the room is too dark, I'm prone to nightmares."

That night, even though she was crying hoarsely in the dark, her mother ignored her, and even her father did not come to help her because of her mother's resistance.

Later, she understood that reality is not a fairy tale, and no demon will come to catch her in the dark.

However, she understands that reality is not a fairy tale, and she has not become a princess who everyone loves, but is still a helpless child in the dark.

Shen Nianchu turned his head to look at Cai Jiayi, "You were right that day, I am actually a person with low self-esteem and lack of love."

As she spoke, a very strong smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, as if she mocked herself, and like an affirmation of those words.

"Growing up, I didn't know what it was like to be truly loved, only that when I met my mother's requirements, she would be happy and have a good face for me. So, I had to tremble and try to do my best in everything, and I never dared to disobey any of her words. When she is satisfied, she smiles at me, compliments me, and buys me gifts...... At that time, I was also happy, and I felt that she should love me. However, as long as I don't do a good job, it's like a different person......

Cai Jiayi sat beside her, looking at her gently and quietly, neither urging nor impatient, just listening quietly.

Shen Nianchu sighed.

"Actually, I know that under those halos, I am not as dazzling and excellent as everyone sees, more of a girl, just a girl who is both sensitive and inferior, the more I am afraid that everyone will know the real me, the harder I will work to make the aura on my body a little brighter and brighter."

"Sometimes I think, if I'm really not that good, will my mother still love me......" Shen Nianchu's voice became softer and softer, and at the end, it was almost muttering, "If I wasn't that good, would anyone still love me?" And what is true love?"

After Shen Nian finished speaking, Cai Jiayi spoke softly in a voice that was close to soft.

"Why do you have to be loved by others? If no one loves you, will you have no reason to exist in life?"

Shen Nian was stunned at the beginning.

"There is no rule that a person must be loved by others to live, and there is no rule that a flower must grow into a sunflower or a rose to be beautiful and charming enough."

….

Cai Jiayi looked at her and smiled.

"Well, I don't want to point too much fingers at your life, lest I be suspected of pouring chicken soup on you, the only thing I want to say is that I hope you remember that no one loves us, and we can love ourselves ourselves."

Nobody loves me, I love myself.

I want to try to be better, not to satisfy anyone's desires, but because I love myself, so I want to get better day by day.

Maybe in the process of getting better, someone will notice my goodness and fall in love with me?

"As for what is true love......

"I think that true love is giving, I am willing to be good to you, I take the initiative to give it to you, and I will not be angry with you if you don't want it. If I don't love you, you have to give me the same love or something, it's not love, it's greed and self-interest."

"And those who use the so-called "love" as a shackle to try to imprison us and hurt us, in the final analysis, we are not strong enough, when we become better and stronger, they naturally can't imprison us, can't hurt us, right?"

In fact, everyone will not lack love, as long as he knows how to love himself.

But since I was a child, I have lived in an environment that lacks love, I have never experienced what true love is, the people around me and the education I have received are indifferent and utilitarian, how can Shen Nianchu know how to love himself?

This is also human nature.

It's like a plant, which has been buried in dark and harsh soil, and does not see sunlight, how can it be normal

of them blossom and bear fruit?

But...... If at this time, it can be a little stronger, try to break out of the ground, and feel the presence of the sun, perhaps, for it, everything will be different again.

was stunned at the beginning, and he didn't say a word for a long time.

Cai Jiayi said again: "By the way, Chen Jiayu told me just now that he plans to contact the administrator of the white wall and ask the other party to delete the post. When the post is gone, in a few days, everyone will forget about it."

She curled the corners of her mouth and chuckled.

"Actually, when you look back after ten or eight years, you may find that this is just a trivial matter. By the way, do you know what the focus effect is? It's that a person will always be more than others see themselves. But 99 percent of people don't care about you as much as you think."

"For example, if a stranger falls in front of you, you may laugh at the time, but after a few days, will you remember what the other person looked like? To others, you are the one who fell and they laugh at you now and forget about it after a while."

Shen Nianchu pursed her lips and smiled, "Well, you're right."

At this time, Cai Jiayi finally couldn't hold back and yawned again.

Shen Nianchu was a little embarrassed.

"Are you sleepy, yes, it's so late, it's all because I pulled you to talk for a long time...... You go to sleep first."

"What about you?"

"I'll sit by myself for a while, and I'll sleep when I'm sleepy."

"Really?" Cai Jiayi rubbed her eyes and muttered, "In this way, if you are not sleepy, go to my room and find a few books to read, maybe it can help you fall asleep."

….

"Ah, is that okay?"

"Yes, come on."

Shen Nianchu followed her to the room, a little curious about what books Cai Jiayi had.

Then, Cai Jiayi walked to a bookshelf and introduced her: "53, Tianli 38 sets, Huanggang dense papers, college entrance examination questions must be brushed...... The choice is yours."

Shen Nianchu: "...... Is that all the books you are talking about?"

Cai Jiayi looked serious: "In order to help you fall asleep, isn't it best to watch these?" She thought for a moment and said, "I still haven't finished my homework yesterday, if you're really not sleepy, you can help me do it."

Shen Nianchu snorted and laughed, "Okay."

Cai Jiayi's eyes also bent, "Doing homework is to tease you, but I really don't have any miscellaneous books, and I don't have time to read them in the third year of high school."

Shen Nianchu also understood, she was about to say it, her eyes swept over the desk, and she saw a copy of "The Little Prince" with a beautiful cover on it, and said casually, "Then can I read that book?"

"......" Cai Jiayi's obvious hesitation fell into Shen Nianchu's eyes, and she said, "I'm just asking casually, if it doesn't work, forget it."

Cai Jiayi hesitated for a while before holding the book in her hand and handing it to her: "Forget it, you can take it and read it, but remember not to break it, and return it to me."

"Well, thank you."

Shen Nianchu returned to the second bedroom, sat on the bed, and turned the first page very gently and carefully.

As she turned the pages one by one, the weariness crept up little by little.

……

"Indeed, I love you." Hua'er replied, "But because of my fault, you didn't pay any attention to it...... I hope you will be happy ...... future."

……

"So, innocently, she revealed her four thorns, and then said, "Since you have decided to leave here, then, go away, and I will be fine myself." 」

"She was afraid that the little prince would see her crying. She's a very proud flower......

Seeing this, Shen Nianchu already felt tired and couldn't resist, she closed the book, gently put it aside, and then lay on the bed and covered it with a quilt.

This time, she slept well and had no dreams all night.

Early the next morning.

Shen Nian was awakened by a knock on the door

。

She got out of bed, opened the door, and saw Cai Jiayi outside the door.

"I'm a little embarrassed to wake you up." Cai Jiayi tilted her head and said with a smile, "But I'm going to school, so I have something to explain to you."

Shen Nianchu looked at her.

"Your school uniform was only washed last night, I just went to the balcony to take a look, and it's not completely dry. I'll put my spare uniform on the couch and wear it if you want. Also, I put the keys and money on the table, and I don't know what you like to eat, so I didn't prepare breakfast for you, you can go out and buy breakfast, or you can walk around the neighborhood......

"You wait for me for a while, and I'll go to school too."

Shen Nianchu said suddenly.

She can't escape forever, sooner or later she has to face all this, and accept it all again-

She may be weak, but she is by no means cowardly.

I'm on fire this year