In the courtyard of the station, thirteen soldiers lined up, trying to straighten their waists.

In front of the soldiers, Dennis paced back and forth with his hands behind his back and his head held high, imitating the arrogance of a German officer in the movie.

But he soon got tired of it, because the garbage in front of him probably couldn't understand why he, the new lieutenant, walked like a castrated rooster.

Finally he stopped and looked at them: "In order to prevent being blown up by Israeli or Lebanese mortars, let me make a long story short, first of all, ask a few questions, you can answer them without haste, but it is better to tell me the answer before today, the first question, what is the level of soldiers' standing consumption in Naqoura, hemp grass, pills, prostitutes, etc.?" ”

"The second question, if there is an air-raid shelter in this building, remember to move my bed, toilet, inflatable doll, desk, etc., I will live and work in it in the future, if not, Glenn, find a few people who don't want to extend the service to help me dig, the faster and deeper the dig, the longer the family leave, if you can dig through the earth, I will help you apply to the Pentagon for the exclusive title of the strongest engineer in the American Army, so is anyone willing to take the initiative to sign up in front of me?"

Most of the soldiers immediately raised their hands, and Dennis nodded with satisfaction: "Thank you for your statement, which makes me feel respected enough." ”

"The third question, Sean Daning, who is from Lincoln High School in Warwick and can't even spell the word astronaut, why the is here." Dennis asked as he walked over to a soldier and stood still, smiling.

The soldier who hesitated to call out Dennis's name at the first sight was Shaun, a classmate from Lincoln High School in Warwick, who was also a famous figure in Lincoln High School back then, only slightly inferior to him, Tommy, and Palm's trio.

"Dennis, F*ck! Even if Ensign Marven called out your name, I couldn't believe it was you! Dude, what's wrong with this world, and you're also serving in the army? And also became an officer? Sean saw Dennis talking to himself, his face showed the joy of reuniting after a long absence, and he was so excited that he even choked up in the end: "I really didn't expect to see Warwick again!" ”

Dennis saw that everyone else was looking at him curiously, so he didn't rush to respond, but patted Sean on the shoulder: "Let's talk slowly after I announce the disbandment." ”

Then he took a few steps back and looked at the crowd: "Maybe many commanders have told you that soldiers should be fearless of death, have the courage to sacrifice, and be proud of dying on the battlefield. That's all, you know? Soldiers, first of all, you must learn to survive on the battlefield, after all, dead soldiers can't defend the United States, I want you to live, I want to live, so, if there are those warriors in this team who want to charge into battle and die on the battlefield, please stand up now, I swear, I will write you the most gorgeous letter of recommendation, and recommend you to the real hero troops, that is, those elite troops nicknamed Blue Arrow, Rock, and Howling Eagle, are there? Stand out! I'm not kidding! I'm a graduate of West Point, and a lot of my classmates are serving in the elite units I just mentioned, and if you want to be a fighting hero, this could be a very valuable opportunity for you, stay and you'll just be a living pile of garbage. ”

A group of people were expressionless, and a few even turned their heads away.

"Not one, that's good, because I don't even know how to write letters of recommendation, and I don't have any classmates serving in the frontline troops, and the United States won't send West Point students to places with high mortality rates, I'm an accident." Dennis smiled:

"If not, then congratulations, your commander has prepared a little greeting for you, Glenn."

Glenn took out two large marching bags and placed them in front of everyone, unzipped them, and took out sets of brightly colored women's underwear from them, as well as one after another American original "Attic" with an exposed cover.

Dennis pointed his finger at the soldiers in front of him and counted the numbers, and said: "My order does not indicate that I want to lead you, so the number of greeting gifts is a little small, only ten sets, not enough for each of the thirty people to get one set, but fortunately, more than half of the fools went to the hospital to pay a high price to hire a nurse to cure sexual hunger, and twelve people were divided into ten sets...... Glenn, how the are you going to divide it? You are better at math than me, calculate clearly, and then distribute it to them, and those who go to the hospital are considered unlucky. ”

"Just now you asked them to raise their hands to sign up to dig holes in the ground, and two of them just didn't lift them." Glenn added a note of detail that he had paid attention to.

Dennis nodded: "Very good, remove those two guys who disrespect the commander, there are just ten people left, each with a set of underwear and a magazine, which is a small gift for my comrades-in-arms who live and die together in the next period, don't underestimate these underwear, each set has the body odor of a young girl in Beirut, Ensign Glenn spent a lot of time and energy to steal it from the laundry rooms of those luxury hotels in the foreign embassy district, and every "Loft" magazine was shipped to Lebanon through channels that I contacted my classmates in the United States. It is more difficult than terrorists smuggling weapons under Israel's nose. ”

Glenn picked up one set of greeting gifts after another, as if holding an American flag solemnly, and handed it to the three-legged cat soldiers in front of him.

“ThankYou Sir！” This time, there is no need for others to remind them with their eyes, and everyone knows how to pay high respects to Dennis and Glenn with a loud and excited shout that is comparable to receiving the president's award.

Which officer who graduated from a military academy will prepare such a thoughtful greeting gift when he comes to report to the new unit!

Before, every stupid* officer thought that the soldiers were just like them, they could drive out at any time to fool around with women, and then use the excuse of helping women get green cards to pay for the overnight.

This respect almost reached its peak when they were carefully reminded by Glenn to discover that there was still a curled hemp hidden inside the bra, perhaps dyed with the scent of a woman's milk.

At that moment, the soldiers felt that as long as Dennis didn't let them go to the battlefield to die, they could do anything.

Dennis looked at these already excited cuties and said with a smile, "What are you waiting for?" Go back to the dorm, the bathroom, or even go out on the street, and suck one, or simply put on that underwear yourself and cool off the brothers! Glenn, tell them that it's time to disband, except for Sean Daning. ”

"Private Sean Daning stays, the rest of the people, disbanded!" Glenn makes a cameo appearance as a sergeant major, signaling for everyone to disband.

A group of young men who had just been thrown to the other side of the world in their early twenties cheered and rushed towards the dormitory.

"Glenn, touch the details of these guys, see which ones can be used as mules, which ones can help us manage the accounts, and which ones can help us take the blame, old rules, if the other party doesn't have any vices and is very motivated, don't hesitate, report to your superiors as a fucking Soviet spy, and ask the Army Intelligence Bureau to send someone to review him, and just kick him away by the way." Dennis waited for his men to disperse before he admonished Glenn, who came over.

Glenn glanced at Sean standing next to him and motioned for Dennis to pay attention to the occasion, Dennis laughed: "Sean can't be a Soviet spy, he can only be the leader of Lincoln High School in third place, or Tommy abstains, otherwise he will be ranked fourth." ”

Glenn retreated to the vicinity of the entrance of the hall, and when only he and Shaun, who was also from Warwick, were left in the courtyard, Dennis looked at his high school classmates and stretched out his fist at the other party: "Disbanded, soldier, just talk about it, speaking of which, I don't think you loved your motherland in high school, and you were willing to take the initiative to join the army for it, and you still came to serve overseas, what happened to you?" A handsome young Lebanese guy who fled to the United States for refuge has stolen your girlfriend, so you're coming to his home country? ”

Sean and Dennis clashed their fists, and then scolded angrily: "I ***** love your mother Twist Country!" ”

After scolding, he took out the hemp grass given by Dennis and lit it in his mouth: "I can't wait to shoot Jimmy Carter's head with a gun!" If it weren't for the fact that this bastard reinstated the Selective Service registration system! I'm probably married now, having kids, and being a happy truck driver. ”

He took a deep breath before handing it to Dennis, who pushed the hemp back, "Dude, looks like you need it more, and I didn't play much with this thing when I was studying at West Point, and now I only have one occasionally." ”

In Sean's foul tongue telling, Dennis learns another story of a young American hillbilly in the army, a very different story from himself and Tony.

After Sean graduated from high school and turned 18 years old, he obediently completed the registration according to the Selective Service registration system signed by President Carter, not because he responded positively because of his sense of patriotic honor, but because of President Carter's fucking President Statute, once found unregistered, American citizens who deliberately fail to register face five years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000, will not be able to enjoy certain federal benefits for life, and will not be hired by the federal government for life.

The main thing is that Sean wants to be a truck driver, and the premise of his application for a truck license is that he must complete the Selective Service registration, otherwise he will not be issued a driver's license at all, which is why he went to register.

When he went to the Selective Service Bureau in Rhode Island under the Enlistment Command, the staff of the other party also swore to him that the chances of his name being selected for service by lottery were negligible, and less than three years after the registration, the Federal Enlistment Command called him to inform him that he had been selected to serve in the lottery and needed to go to a designated hospital to complete a medical examination and participate in the recruit report.

Sean was already stunned at the time, he had just taken out a loan to buy a truck and started running transportation, looking forward to the happy life of a blue-collar truck driver in the United States, and now with a phone call, he was going to say goodbye to his beloved truck and fiancée and run to serve.

Then he hastily trained in the domestic base for a few months, and was sent to Lebanon, a ghost place.

"Why did you come to Lebanon, I mean the normal process, the base commander will consider your idea, if you don't want to go so far, you can change to a closer overseas base?" Dennis asked curiously.

He knows the process of recruiting recruits better than Sean, and generally speaking, unless there is a Vietnam War-level battle, the United States will not directly throw fool-like recruits to such a far place in Lebanon, at least let them adapt to it at home for a while, and then go to overseas bases near the United States mainland to adapt for a while.

"Uh...... I...... Or that the guys who were recruited and selected in Kent County at that time did some dishonorable things, and then they were punitively thrown overseas to mold. Sean heard Dennis's question and said: "We went to the hospital for a physical examination, do you know, can you not be a soldier, just look at the physical examination report, so many people hope to get a physical examination that proves that they are not suitable for being a soldier, and they think of a variety of methods." ”

"Someone wanted to take a gun and give himself a shot in the thigh, but he was later told that the injury would not affect his enlistment, unless he could be ruthless enough to use a shotgun to load the largest one-headed deer bullet and break his entire leg."

"Some people say that they have all kinds of bizarre mental illnesses, gibberish, insulting others, etc., but there are professional psychiatrists and psychologists in designated hospitals, and those guys can easily expose the liar's deception, and they scare us poor people, and show us a film about treating mental illness, and the doctor in that film says that if we cut off any leaf in our brain, we can cure mental illness and make us more obedient, and many people are frightened."

"Later, I found a loophole, a urine test! This is definitely the best chance to cheat, the people in the hospital and the enlistment office didn't pay attention to the urine test at all, they let us wash our hands and urinate, and there was no supervision at all, these fools simply gave us the best chance to cheat. ”

"And we just happened to bump into a bastard in the toilet who was selling syphilis patients' urine at a high price, damn it, a small glass of urine, two hundred dollars, much more expensive than fucking drugs! But no matter how expensive it is, I am willing to pay, after all, I can escape enlistment with severe syphilis, I bought a cup, and then the urine test report came out, and the doctor told the recruiting officer that I had syphilis and could not perform military service, I was so happy to die when I heard this, I thought that Lao Tzu could finally drive the truck with peace of mind, do you know what happened next? ”

"What happened?" Dennis no longer had any curious expression on his face, just a perfunctory echo.

"The doctor said that the urine test report showed that I was not only infected with syphilis, but also pregnant!" Sean exclaimed with grief and indignation:

"That fool* who earned me two hundred dollars sold me a cup of urine from a pregnant woman with syphilis!"

Dennis patted Sean on the shoulder with a sympathetic face: "Don't get excited, I understand, did you find out in the end that all the soldiers bought similar urine?" ”

"That's right, even the urine that the female soldiers bought was problematic, and the urine test results showed that the female soldiers had severe syphilis and prostatitis." Sean says:

"Afterwards, we found the bastard who sold urine, and he actually said that he had reversed the two parts of urine! Fuck it, the result is that our follow-up physical examination was quickly passed, and after a few months of training in the domestic base, we were all sent to various ghost places around the world for the reason of suspected deception! And you can't refuse, once you refuse, these people will find trouble with your retirement, you can retire in two years, very good, because I am suspected of fraud to evade conscription, if you don't want to carry the file of non-honorary retirement and be deprived of retirement benefits, you will obediently renew, at least six years of service, they will consider giving us guys who cheated the military with urine tests a chance to be discharged with honor, otherwise why do you think I am still in this hellish place. ”

"Have you ever thought that he deliberately let you bump into each other, and he also deliberately reversed the urine?" Dennis said suddenly beside Sean.

Sean was taking a puff of smoke, when he heard Dennis's words stop halfway, he almost choked to death, and after coughing violently for a while, he stared at Dennis: "That's ...... Deliberately? ”

"I'm just guessing, but it's unlikely, after all, there is no reason for the other party to deliberately frame you." Dennis exhaled, "I'll see you later, Sean, I'll go check out my break room." ”

With that, Dennis turned and walked through the gate, leaving Sean alone in the courtyard in silence.

Glenn, who was listening to the conversation between the two in the door, looked at Dennis who walked in and said, "Dennis, isn't that a trick you devised when you discussed the military service system in West Point class?" Set a trap for those who do not want to serve, smear a stain, and then use the excuse of suspected fraud to evade service and intimidate them to deprive them of retirement benefits, forcing them to continue to postpone their discharge. ”

"That's right, it looks like some of my classmates who work in the Recruiting Command have already started to apply what they've learned." Dennis turned his head to look at Sean, who was lonely in his back:

"Tony and I didn't go to military school without Tommy's letters of recommendation, and now we're like Sean, moldy somewhere around the globe, cursing the fool who accidentally took the wrong urine, and didn't know who to hate, thanks to fucking Tommy."

(End of chapter)