(Here's the middleman's perspective)

That's when my madness began.

My wife's fierce abuse and cheating on me, my friend's drunken confession, and my friend's son appeared in front of me in the dress of his first love...... There were so many things that I couldn't digest that day, so I must have gone insane. I felt the affection for my friend's son like my first love, like a forbidden light in my dark life, or a handful of poisonous water when I was dying of thirst after a long journey in the hot desert. I knew I couldn't, but I couldn't help but hold it in my heart.

After that day, the relationship between my friend and me was at an impasse, and he didn't seem to tell anyone about that day, nor did he mean to mention it to me again, but we couldn't get along anymore as we used to. On the contrary, the relationship between my friend's son and me quickly warmed up, and he must have regarded me as a very interesting toy, and whenever he was alone with me, he tirelessly teased me, wanted to see my adult jokes, and immersed himself in the superiority that could easily make adults embarrassed. Although my friends no longer seem to support my son coming to my house, the latter is very bored in his own house, and still comes to play with me when he has nothing to do.

Being so despised and teased by my friend's son makes it stands to reason that I should be humiliated. But I also wish he could change into that dress and continue to play with me. It reminded me of my school days, when the smile of my first love would make me shy. However, I eventually became a filthy adult, with filthy thoughts in my heart. As the days passed, I gradually lost control of the despicable demons in my heart.

Another vexatious abuse and argument from my wife, who smashed the console in the house like a ghost, but I no longer took her and her actions seriously. And it sparked me so much that I decided to put it to use. I took this opportunity to tell my friend's son that he would not buy a new console or update the hardware for his computer for games. And because his friends no longer support him coming to his home, he may also respect his friends and refuse his visits. But if he was willing to do "something" for me, then I would not only overturn all of the above decisions, but would even be willing to hide it from his parents and secretly give him some extra pocket money.

If he had refused here, I believe that my life would not have become so crazy, after all, would he really have to promise me for that reason? However, he agreed, and with that lovely face red from humiliation, and in that beautiful and nostalgic dress, he agreed to my request. It was a big mistake for him, and I grabbed it, and it was only natural that there would be more times after that.

I am slowly destroying with my own hands the worthless life I have built up to this point.

For a long time after that, we had frequent private meetings.

But instead of feeling happy and satisfied, I became more anxious and hungry. He wasn't really interested in anything about it, and he just changed into a dress just to play with me as an adult. And as time goes on, his voice is becoming more masculine, and it is believed that in the near future, his body will be more masculine than neutral as it used to be. He's also getting more and more distant from me, and I can't remember the last time I saw his smile. Every time I think about it, my brain seems to become cloudy and burning, and it becomes something viscous that boils even at room temperature. I panicked more and more, panicking that those warm and sweet illusions were about to pass away.

Especially when my daughter accidentally witnessed us doing something at home, he never came back.

At that moment, I felt like the last sane string in my consciousness was breaking.

The next day, some people in blue uniforms made a surprise visit to my company. He must have told his parents everything, and then they called the police. I had foreseen that I was not stuck in the company, so I threw away my phone and ran away in time.

But where can I run after I escape? The company can't go back, and when you go home, you will only be caught. Perhaps he should turn himself in, so that there is still hope that he will be able to return to society after serving his sentence, and live a life that can be fed despite being despised. But why do you do it, is it because of shame?

However, my shame has long since been shattered from the moment my daughter witnessed me and the boy she had a crush on, and now I am just an insatiable beast. No job, no home, no future, no love...... There's nothing left, and I don't want to go back. If you have to say that there is anything left in your heart, it may only be the impulse of self-exile and the desire to distort and expand.

It's already such an incurable life, so it's better to end it all.

But before I wrap up, I want to indulge in a little bit at the end. When I made the decision, I found myself in the arcade where he had been frequenting lately. Perhaps this decision has already been formed in the depths of his heart, but it took some time to find out. Besides, he will become like this, and there is probably his mistake in it.

But wouldn't it be too shameful to blame him? Thinking of this, I laughed loudly at myself at how I was still thinking about that kind of thing. It was his fault. There are also friends who cheat on their first love, and their first love who cheats on themselves. Sure enough, it's all their fault.

While he hurried out with a restless face, I kidnapped him and carried him to the wilderness where he was imprisoned.

What I did in the following period of time is probably not necessary to go into detail. I had expected this indulgence to last for a long time, at least for a few months, and even for a few years until he could no longer impress me. For this reason, I also took great pains to build a dilapidated wooden house that leaked wind and rain. But just two weeks later, the time for indulgence came to an end. I was disillusioned with his foul smell and withered description, and he who was cursing me at first became lifeless like a corpse, and perhaps even grew older, with a faint beard, which made me even more tired.

The day after he died, I walked out of the woods with a strong sense of confusion and a desire to have nowhere to vent. The original office worker who had nothing to do had died in that filthy and dilapidated wooden house with his friend's son without any suspense, and then wandered in the sun as a shameless perverted murderer.

——

Siren's dream.

After reading the memories of the intermediary, I finally understood why the sirens advised me not to take it as well. It's just that the metaphor she used before was still too lukewarm. This is not just watching a bad movie in the cinema, at least I have the right to leave the seat halfway through watching a bad movie, and I can't fast-forward and skip these memories when I watch them, and I can't end it until I watch it completely. I almost threw up.

Those memories don't even end with the middleman killing his friend's son, and there's a lot more to come. But between the content is complicated, here is a brief summary:

If he was barely a man before he imprisoned his friend's son, then he became a beast after killing his friend's son. The two-week experience simply reshaped his inner world, and he used the description of "his original self is dead" to aptly. Therefore, he did not end his life as he originally thought, but found other "prey" in order to fill his bottomless desires.

He is definitely not a highly intelligent criminal, much less a trained criminal, but he meets most of the characteristics of a "criminal who is difficult to catch". According to my social practical experience, the most difficult thing to catch in the city today is not those criminals whose methods of committing crimes are complex and exquisite, but those who have simple and crude methods of committing crimes. For example, in a place that the monitoring can't take care of, stab a stranger who has never met him, and then turn around and leave, or even simply leave the country. And his method of crime is to add a link of "doing something" to the above process, after which he will no longer be imprisoned, but directly kill the victim, and then find a nearby place to hide the body. When the body was found, he didn't know which city he had gone to.

He targets young or young men, i.e., victims who are more impressed with a "friend's son" than with a "first love". This is puzzling to me, if he likes his friend's son because he found the feeling of first love in him, then shouldn't he do more to women like first love in the future?

Is it because he has never felt the body temperature of his first love, so he can't find the feeling of first love when he violates a woman who is similar to his first love, and his friend's son is the opposite? But I've seen his memory, he later went to kill his friend and first love, and at that time he had the opportunity to "do something" to his first love, but he didn't do it, but killed him directly. Is it because he still has some beautiful thoughts about his first love, so he is unwilling to tarnish it?

Or is it true that during the long period of contact with his friend's son, he has really twisted into a pervert who indulges in forbidden tastes, and his first love is no longer attractive to him? Probably even he couldn't tell the difference, otherwise I would have gotten the answer from his memory.

Later, he had lost the will to look into his own heart, and perhaps he was running away from something inside him, and he became more and more like a zombie that smelled something fishy and drove past without hesitation and in a muddle.

Using him as a mirror, it's not like I can't see myself.

In the succubus's seductive dream, I said to the demons: since desire is one's own thing, then shame is also one's own thing. But the reverse of this statement can also be true. In the first half of the enchanting dream, those physical bodies like "it" ...... If I didn't have the amulet of the blue bird, I wouldn't have realized that it was a dream, and then I would have indulged in the beauty of the dream and never woke up again.

Lust and shame...... This time, I only defeated the desire for "escapism" with shame, but I did not overcome the desire for "human-like and non-human things".

So what about next time? Can I still defeat my desires with shame?

I shook my head to dispel my confusion and re-engage in the problem at hand.

All in all, now I understand the middleman's motive for attacking Joan.

He made the men he had captured to look a little like Joan, but the men were not like Joan, but both of them were like his friend's son. I'm afraid that in his opinion, Joan is a super rare prey like no other, so he is obsessed with it to that point. It didn't even go straight as it used to, but tried to create a beautiful "encounter", which led to the surveillance of that time.

But I still have a lot of questions that remain unanswered.

I originally suspected that the reason why he became a perverted murderer was because he obtained demonic knowledge when he was an ordinary person, but in my memory just now, I only saw how he became a psychopathic murderer, but I didn't even catch a glimpse of the scaly claws of demonic knowledge. So how exactly did he become a demon warlock? What is the relationship between the succubus and him? Most importantly, what is his relationship with the old bones?

This time, I'm not going to explore the information by reading the memories directly, and frankly, those memories just now really made me feel like five thunderbolts.

"That's too perverted......" I used as a summary of his memory.

Unexpectedly, this sentence actually caused the reflection of the intermediary in front of him to react violently, "You, a pervert who is in estrus with the flesh of something outside of people, also deserve to say that I am a pervert?" ”

"He's self-aware?" I turned to the sirens.

"He's a dream reflection of memories extracted from spirit fragments, and you can understand him as an automated conversational robot. Although I assume that he will only answer questions, sometimes he will react to words that are not interrogatives. Probably because what you just felt was understood by this reflection as a question of yourself. Speaking of which, she thought for a moment and added euphemistically, "Also, I don't think it's very good to say this about him when it comes to perversion." ”

"Aren't you my partner?"

"Yes, I am your steadfast partner forever." She was so serious that she couldn't say enough, "No matter how perverted you are, I will accept everything from you unconditionally." ”

"I hope you will at least change your appearance when you say such things in the future, otherwise it will make me look like a pervert even more......" Then, I looked back at the intermediary, "Let's talk about your question first, how did you get the knowledge of demons?" ”

He was very honest now, "Someone gave it to me." ”

"Who?"

"Bite the blood."

I heard a rather unfamiliar name, "Who's the one who bites blood?" ”

"Don't you know? The half-blood demon bites the blood, and when it comes to the name of the murderer, he is a powerful warlock on a par with you in the hidden world. He said.

(End of chapter)