In this new house, Yu Qingtang felt at a loss for a long time.

The last time he sat like this, it was when he first arrived at He's house, when he was allowed by the old man to live in the same courtyard with his brother.

Since he was a child, he has never eaten enough, but what he saw was an antique courtyard, and everywhere he saw it, it was all exquisite and luxurious.

As for himself, he was wearing cloth shoes that had been sewn and mended many times but still had three toes exposed, and his shirt and pants were already dirty.

The moment he walked into the yard, he didn't know where to fall with his feet.

The self-esteem and shame that he had forgotten for a long time in order to desperately survive exploded in his mind at that moment.

Bang.

The explosion made him dizzy and cold, and with it something more unbearable than the whip and pepper water that fell on him.

He felt unworthy of being there.

But instead of giving him a chance to escape, his brother threw him into a large bathtub and gave him a personal bath cook.

That day was washed away not only by the dirt and mud on his body, but also by all the memories of him being abused like a brute.

Since then, he has been Yu Qingtang.

A wild boy born in the dusty countryside, who has been working hard to avoid beatings and survive since he can remember, this alone has spent all his strength, where does he know what cleanliness is.

His cleanliness, his love for cleanliness, were but habits that had been developed since that day.

He just wants to be like his brother, always clean, and wants to live cleanly.

Jin Yan took off his sunscreen coat, washed his hands and came out, and what he saw was the picture of Yu Qingtang standing in a daze at the door.

He looked pained and vulnerable, not even noticing her approaching.

Jin Yan stretched out his hand and shook it in front of his eyes, and poked his shoulder again, Yu Qingtang suddenly came back to his senses, and when he saw Jin Yan who was close at hand, he was stunned for a moment before remembering what he was doing just now.

"What's wrong with you?" Jin Yan asked.

Yu Qingtang shook his head, "I think of some of the past." ”

Jin Yan "oh", "Let's change the shoes first, it's hot to look at, there are slippers in the shoe cabinet, it's Dad's shoe size, you should be able to wear it." ”

Yu Qingtang obediently opened the shoe cabinet, and sure enough, he saw several pairs of spare slippers inside.

He changed his shoes and asked where the bathroom was.

Jin Yan pointed it to him.

When Yu Qingtang came out of the bathroom, Jin Yan was no longer in the living room, he was afraid that Jin Yan would go back to the bedroom, so he didn't look at it much.

After a few seconds, he heard the sound of cutting things from the kitchen, his face changed, and he strode towards the kitchen in an instant.

Jin Yan was cutting fruit, there was a voice behind her, she looked back, and the fruit knife almost fell into her hand.

And Yu Qingtang seemed to be able to teleport, and in the blink of an eye, he had come to her side and snatched the knife in her hand.

She was the one who was almost cut into her hand, but it was Yu Qingtang who blamed herself and felt distressed.

If he hadn't left, Jin Yan wouldn't have had a chance to touch the fruit knife at all, and naturally he wouldn't be injured.

Yu Qingtang skillfully cut the fruit that Jin Yan took out, and placed a familiar fruit plate, "Take this to the living room first, and I'll wash a few more grapes." ”

Jin Yan took the fruit plate, but stood still, just quietly watching his silhouette.

Yu Qingtang had no choice but to let her.

After he finished washing, before he could speak, Jin Yan turned around and went out.

A thought suddenly popped up in Yu Qingtang's heart.

Jin Yan didn't leave, did he want to see him twice?

When she arrived in the living room, Jin Yan was crowded in the corner of the sofa like a kitten, Yu Qingtang paid attention to her posture and couldn't help but say, "Sitting like this will hurt your spine." ”

Jin Yan just ate a grape, she said, "I feel safe sitting like this", as soon as the words fell, the water in the grape splashed out and hit Yu Qingtang's face.

“……”

Jin Yan was silent, hurriedly threw away the pillow on his body, got up to get the paper, looking at her appearance, Yu Qingtang sighed.

"Baby."

Jin Yan paused.

Yu Qingtang approached, grabbed her shoulders with both hands, and asked her to look at herself, "Why are you so uneasy?" You know I won't be angry with you, let alone a single grape, and I won't be angry with you if you puree these two plates of fruit and put them all in my face. ”

Jin Yan raised his eyes, looked at the pain in his eyes, and clearly felt the pain in his heart, "You didn't say goodbye first, you were the one who broke up with me first." ”

Yu Qingtang was stunned for a moment, realizing the deep meaning of this sentence, he couldn't help but say: "It's me, it's my fault, I'm afraid that I will be jealous, I will lose control, I can't help it, I will hurt you, I want to protect you......"

"You won't." Jin Yan said.

If he would have done something to hurt her, he wouldn't have been silent and planned to disappear after discovering his feelings at the time.

It's that he's too sane.

Together with the others, he was celebrating her birthday with gifts and giving her the best wishes, but in his heart he was constantly doubting and denying himself, and endured endless punishment and suffering.

No one knows how he spent the hours before he disappeared, or how he made up his mind to stay away from her and not give him a chance to hurt her.

But time never lies.

His melancholy, his gray hair, his desire to speak, and his helplessness are the best proof.

Yu Qingtang seemed to have a beautiful dream, he couldn't believe it, "Baby, do you understand what I'm referring to?" ”

Jin Yan: "You love me, don't you?" ”

Yu Qingtang: "......"

The three words that he buried in his heart and didn't dare to say easily were said by Jin Yan like this?

Jin Yan: "Or someone else......"

"No, no one else, just you, just you." Yu Qingtang was anxious to explain.

Although the reality was in front of him, he still couldn't believe that Jin Yan would be so calm and rational.

It's just better than he was at the time.

Jin Yan: "So what are you afraid of?" ”

Yu Qingtang looked at her, his eyes and tone were gentle, "Baby, it's true that I love you, but everyone has times when they get out of control, and I can't be sure when I will make excessive moves, for you who don't know anything and are not yet adults, it is a crime, do you understand?" ”

Jin Yan: "But I'm an adult now, I understand everything now, I know you, you won't get out of control, you will only make excuses not to see me, make me wonder if you hate me, let me take the initiative to stay away from you, so as to achieve the purpose of keeping a distance, isn't it?" ”

Yu Qingtang shook his head, he raised his hand to stroke Jin Yan's cheek, "No, how can I hate you, and I am reluctant to treat you like that." You don't understand anything, it's my fault, and the consequences should naturally be borne by me alone. ”

But now he knows that the "injuries" suffered by Jin Yan all originated from him.

All her unhappiness is also because of him.

Ask for a ticket~