"Is there really no hope?"

"He has already had a brain herniation with dilated pupils, and arachnoid hemorrhage is the most fatal, do you expect him to be able to turn things around and bring him back to life?"

At three o'clock in the morning, in the intensive care unit, the doctor shook his head and looked at me, and I looked at my sleeping father's film-covered eyes.

"You're too young, there's a reason why we don't tell you about his situation, knowing that you're his only son, I'm worried that you won't be able to bear it,"

The doctor stopped his movements and looked at me, and continued:

"But you surprise me, calm and terrible,"

"Your father's first operation was successful, but he bleed twice in the process of awakening the anesthetic, and we have no way of knowing the amount of bleeding, unless we take him to the radiology department for a brain CT, you know, the road is bumpy, and he probably won't be able to finish it, so it's too risky and a pity. Prepare for the worst. Your father's current situation is a medical miracle that he can survive in a vegetative state. ”

I didn't see a doctor, my eyes were always on him. His eyes were half-open, filmed. Leaning against the ventilator's chest, I held his hand and clearly felt his hand tremble.

"He's moving!"

"Just involuntary tics."

Leaning against the railing next to the bed, the doctor raised his hand to look at his watch and beckoned the other family members to come in.

Now the forty-six-year-old father is almost completely tormented by illness, his original young and vigorous face is full of wrinkles and the film in his eyes, and his complexion is even more gray and dead, and the last strength is only maintained by the crazy operation of the medical machine.

The days are over, and there is no medicine for the stone;

This is the natural end of human life, and now there is no way to return to heaven.

In the cubicle, Zhou Zhantang stood less than a meter away from us and watched.

My mom was standing on the other side holding his hand, and I was holding his other hand.

I saw her quietly wipe away her tears in front of the man in front of her, who had been divorced from her for nine years, and pretended to be calm.

"He's moving!"

I felt his fingers twitch for a moment, and then slowly lifted up with my hand holding him.

Rao is the final return to the light, and I let my father hold my mother's hands with each hand and slowly lift it up, and gently fall on his belly covered with the quilt. Although his cloudy eyes reflected us, he was powerless to say another word, all he could do was to keep the three of us' hands close together.

I met those eyes......

All kinds of emotions and words, so guilty, so remorseful, so longing for indebtedness, so fatherly love like a mountain, but there is no half of blame and resentment.

"Don't worry, Zhou You will take good care of him when he is handed over to me, and he will always be safe and healthy."

When the doctor heard this, he had no heartbeat.

My hand on the hospital bed shook suddenly, and my whole body went limp. Looking at my father's satisfied expression that seemed to be fulfilled in the end, feeling the vitality of this young body gradually exhausted, and the flame of life used up all the residual heat, I could no longer hold back crying, and the tears poured out of my eyes like a.

But I held his hand, and there was still residual body temperature. I don't believe it, I really don't believe it. Obviously he picked me up for dinner the day before, and he made an appointment to go home the next day, and he made an appointment to bring him medicine the next day...

Now, there is no longer my father's company and teaching.

In the funeral home, the staff opened the door of the morgue and pushed him in, and we followed. Until I was in front of an open freezer, I watched as the staff pushed him, the chain at the foot of the bed shrinking and folding into a flat surface, and he lay on it, and was sent into the freezer and closed the heavy door.

I found the children column on his death certificate and signed my name - Zhou You.

The vigil lasted for two days, and the incense was continuous.

It's time to light incense, right?

I got out of bed and walked to the living room to look at the black and white picture of him on the TV stand. I took three sticks of incense from the box, lit them, bowed three times with my eyes closed, and inserted them into the censer in front of his portrait.

"Why do you say? Obviously he took me to dinner the day before. ”

I stared at him in the portrait, he was smiling, but it felt like a smile rather than a smile, and it meant a lot.

At the memorial service two days later, several members of the Zhou family looked at each other coldly and stood in a row. I stood in it, but I saw her pear blossom with rain among his relatives and friends who had been with him for seven years, and his mother, who had been divorced for nine years, looked at me in the family seat with a worried face, and his hair was dejected.

I listened to the host's speech and thought it was ridiculous. What is ridiculous is not only his unfluent Mandarin, but also the group of cold-eyed Zhou family members.

"Let's go!"

"Dad! Go all the way! ”

I raised the brazier with both hands that was burning paper money, and slammed it down. With this loud bang, the funeral was over. And the relationship between me and the rest of the Zhou family was also shattered with this brazier.

After the funeral, it is time to be buried.

The heavy cover on the coffin fell, and a few long nails were nailed by others.

I'll never see him again.

A crane carried his coffin slowly into the pit, and I was carefully observing where the coffin was placed while others untied the rope. As soon as the soil is filled in and the red bricks are paved, we are people of two worlds.

The loess fell, and the sand and dust flew. Heavily covered his coffin, and severed the last connection between the world and him.

When I got home, I put three sticks of incense in the incense burner in front of his portrait, poured him a glass of wine and placed it next to the incense burner, and then walked into the room weakly and collapsed on the bed and fell into a deep sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, it was already the evening of the next day. I washed my face and looked up in the mirror, and there was a bloodless hand on the edge.