I...... I used to hate the dark, and I always felt that there were monsters lurking in the darkness, and they hid in the darkness so that I could not see them, but they could spy on me.

I...... I used to love the dark, and I could always use it to hide myself. Moreover, there will always be situations and things that cannot be seen in the light in the darkness.

I fear it, but I love it, I hate it, but I depend on it.

I know...... There is a world in the darkness that can not exist, but it can also be everywhere.

Even the smallest darkness can be an abyss.

As long as...... Completely lost light!

The closest thing to darkness is not in a cave in the Wild West, nor in some prison dungeon, nor is it buried deep underground. But...... Every time the nightmare came, the sudden feeling of sinking was like falling into a bottomless abyss, and the water surrounded my body and submerged me. And I can only sink slowly, deeper and deeper, that sense of sinking, the feeling of submersion is the closest feeling to darkness.

And I'm finally getting to the fullest of that feeling now.

Maybe that's death.

Yes, that's how I felt then.

I didn't know where I was, I wouldn't know what was going on, I lost my hearing, sight, taste, smell, touch. But I don't seem to be completely dead, or I'm just a soul when I'm dead!

I don't know where I am, it's not darkness around me, it's nothingness. Nothingness, nothingness that you can't feel anything. No temperature, no air, no color, no taste, no sound, as if everything didn't exist but ...... Conscious!

Suddenly I remembered why I was like this. But it didn't feel like a video clip in my head at all, but a simple memory, and I knew what was going on.

But this feeling of knowing suddenly evolved into a strong emotional change! I felt it...... Unwilling.

This feeling of unwillingness is like water overflowing the sink, and then regret appears, and then ...... Sadness.

Sadness...... Yes! This was followed by a knife-like sadness.

I don't even know why I'm sad! The uncontrollable sadness made me want to cry out loud.

What's going on? Why do I feel sad? I don't feel the cause of my sadness.

But when I had enough crying, a sense of resentment arose.

That resentment spread like a kindled fire. Hate! Must be hated! When the hatred swells to the extreme, an irrepressible anger ensues!

And that invisible anger can't be vented, there's nothing around, no body, no power, no contact.

When anger gradually turns into frustration, that irritability replaces anger, when anger rushes back into my heart and quickly disappears, a strong sense of frustration, powerlessness makes me extremely disappointed in myself, that sense of disappointment and depression makes me think of destroying myself.

Until...... Suddenly, I felt the voice from the abyss.

"Come closer, get closer......"