This is my 10th year of marriage to Yang Xia.

Over the years, I have had a bad life, not material, psychological pain, every day I press my heart, even breathing feels like I have to do my best, and now I can't stand it.

The doctor said that I could try to write a diary to relieve myself, I haven't written a diary for a long time, but I still try to write it.

1

Like many newlyweds, we are sweet, happy, you and me, enjoying the calm and wanton gentleness every day.

As I told her at the beginning, I took her on a tour, and I released a lot of songs during this time, and my name gradually began to be known throughout the country.

Traveling is a liberating thing, and that's what I've heard people say, but seriously, I haven't traveled far for more than 20 years other than going to school.

I only know that the morning glow of Mount Tai is very beautiful, but I don't know that I will be so tired when climbing, it is really high, and I have to get up early in the morning, I set an alarm clock at four o'clock early, although I am a lazy person, but in terms of behavior, I am not so lazy.

When the alarm clock rang, I pulled up Yang Xia, who was still lazy in bed, and forcibly carried her out of bed when she hummed and held the quilt and refused to get up.

For breakfast, I ate bread and milk that I had prepared long ago, and I walked up the hill while eating.

There are many travelers like us, and many of them even got up earlier than us, and the light of their flashlights can be seen halfway up the mountain.

Originally, I could have taken the cable car up, but Yang Xia said that there should be a sense of ceremony, and what I saw when I climbed up with my legs was different from what I saw when I went up on the cable car, and I was skeptical.

So, it took us almost two hours to reach the top of the mountain, and the sun was already out, and we couldn't see the spectacular sight of the morning sun slowly rising from the clouds on the Internet.

Yang Xia gasped, and I wanted to gasp too, but I, who refused to bow my head in front of women all my life, forced myself to keep breathing evenly, and as a result, I almost didn't come up in one breath and died on the spot.

When Yang Xia saw me, she smiled and said that I was very personable.

I was thick-skinned, and I couldn't stand it, and my old face was red, but I still stubbornly defended myself by holding my neck.

This made her laugh even more unbridledly.

It's easy to go down, and I don't know who said it, it's easy to go up the mountain, but it's hard to go down. I don't think it's easy.

I didn't see the morning glow, probably because in summer, the sun came out too early, not that we got up too late.

But if she said she would come again tomorrow, then forget it, Yang Xia also thought it would be better to take the cable car, and I asked her if she wanted to have a sense of ceremony?

She said she hadn't said it!

So the next day, it rained and the sun didn't come out.

In fact, I don't want to see the rising sun of Mount Tai, the sunrise and the sunset, I have watched it for decades, but I just look at it in a different place, and it is not so unusual, but Yang Xia doesn't think so, because she is still sad for several days because of the rain.

By the third day, instead of stopping the rain, it was getting worse, and the tourists were all nestled in their rooms, so Yang Xia and I had to do something that adults loved to do.

After that, we went to many places, and we went abroad, and we saw the Eiffel Tower, which was a big rusty iron frame.

By the way, in romantic France, I smell the urine that fills all corners, these foreigners really don't pay attention to hygiene, and the security is not ordinarily bad, Yang Xia is even more angry and stamped her feet, because a new bag she bought was robbed on the first day she came.

The Louvre has also been to see it, how to say it, it's about the same as Harbin Pharmaceutical No. 6 Factory.

On the second day of his arrival in France, he left overnight with a grudge against the country.

We went to Egypt, excluding all kinds of false rumors on the Internet, the pyramids are still relatively grand, but to say that it is the seven wonders of the world, which I don't agree with, the building made of rough earth and straw and other things, in addition to covering a large area, there is an unrecognizable sphinx, I really don't know what to see.

Yang Xia was very excited, and kept pulling me to take pictures of her, maybe this is the difference between men and women.

After going to several places, we went home for the simple reason that she was pregnant.

It's one of the few things in my life that I'm really excited about, like the feeling of being a child yesterday and now becoming a father so quickly.

Yes, I always felt like I hadn't grown up yet.

In the days that followed, I always worked as a full-time nanny by Yang Xia's side, and during this period, I also published many songs, all of which were full of infinite yearning for life, and my fame also spread all over the country at this time.

With my help, China Entertainment also advanced into the top three in the country, and I successfully became a gold medal composer, which caused a small sensation in the entertainment industry back then, because it only took me half a year to go from a newcomer to a gold medal composer.

Yang Xia's due date is approaching soon, she begins to become worried, always laughing inexplicably, and crying inexplicably, maybe pregnant women are like this, I patiently accompany her, and tell her the story that the system gave me every day.

By the way, I almost forgot, I have a system, just like in the novel, it makes me omniscient, but now the system is gone, mainly because I don't do the tasks it gave me later.

On the day of delivery, I, like many people who are about to become fathers, were anxious outside the delivery room, worried, excited and longing.

The process of having a child is faster than I imagined, much faster, not at all like what is written in a TV novel, for hours at every turn, days and nights.

Yang Xia was pushed into the delivery room and then came out for a maximum of half an hour, and I screamed in surprise, why is it so fast!

The result was naturally that the medical staff glared at them with an indescribable expression.

In short, the mother and son are safe, in the ward, Yang Xia is lying on the bed, her face is a little pale, but her spirit is very good, and she asked me with a smile, what name do you want to give your daughter?

She gave birth to a girl, in the cradle next to the bed, the little one, unlike the other newborns, my daughter did not cry or make a fuss, with big black eyes, sucking her fingers.

I have to say that the baby feels delicate just by looking at it, as if I will break it if I touch her lightly, I stood next to Yang Xia, I wanted to hug my daughter, but I didn't dare, I was completely overwhelmed.

The nurse saw my embarrassment and picked up my daughter and stuffed her into my arms.

Her body was warm, very cute, like a porcelain doll, I didn't dare to move, Yang Xia looked at me and wanted to laugh, but because the wound was involved when she laughed, and there was a burst of bared teeth, now it was time for me to laugh at her.

She gave me a blank look and told me to give her her a hug, and I carefully put her daughter in her arms.

When they were in contact with each other, I began to think of names, I used to think of a lot of names, but I always felt that it was not good, and now I am still a little entangled, after all, the name is related to the future of the child, and it also carries the good expectations of the parents for the future, so I can't be careless.

After thinking about it, I still thought of it, and I called it An Nuan.

I told Yang Xia the name, and she asked me what the name meant.

I sat next to her, put my arms around her, and told her the name.

If you embrace it, you will be safe, and if you hold it, you will be warm, and you will be named An Nuan.

After having children, our already colorful life is the icing on the cake!

Well, in fact, I was in a hurry, my daughter seemed to have completely changed from the hospital, not at all like she was so quiet in the delivery room, she was crying every day, or she was choking, and when she choked on milk for the first time, she was so scared that Yang Xia and I almost didn't send the child directly to the ICU, and even called 120, but before 120 came, my daughter was already alive again.

The doctor was lonely, I was so embarrassed that I almost didn't use my toes to pull out the three-bedroom apartment, and finally I paid for the ambulance and bought the doctors a pack of cigarettes.

Taking care of a baby is an extremely troublesome thing, fortunately, Yang Xia and I don't have to go to work, and the money can't be spent at all, but I didn't think about hiring a nanny, mainly because I was afraid that the nanny would not be responsible and abuse the child.

During the day, it is generally brought to Yang Xia, I am responsible for the night, and I don't know if An Nuan, this little guy, recognizes people, when her mother takes her, she is quiet, when it is her father's turn to take her, she cries a little, makes trouble at two o'clock, makes noise at three o'clock, rolls around at four o'clock, and can't let her father rest for a while at night.

During that time, I was really exhausted, and it was said that many pregnant women had postpartum depression, Yang Xia was very happy every day, and there was no shadow of depression at all, but I seemed to be about to be depressed.

In the past, I was the one who comforted Yang Xia, but since I had Xiao Annuan, it was Yang Xia's turn to comfort me.

Although it was annoying every day, it was also the happiest time of my life.

Sometimes I wonder if these memories are real.

I don't remember exactly what day it was.

Yang Xia said that she wanted to take her children out for a walk after staying in the house all day, and I thought that she would also be isolated at home for more than three months, and she really had to go out to breathe.

I drove the two of them and wanted to go for a stroll in the park not far away. Because it was not far away, and she had to bring a child, she let Yang Xia sit in the back seat and did not wear a seat belt.

It was past three o'clock in the afternoon.

When I was crossing an intersection, a black Audi ran a red light and went on a rampage, and I saw the other car grow bigger in front of my eyes, and with a bang, I lost consciousness in an instant.

Before I could get unconscious, I saw Yang Xia being hit directly by the impact of the car and flying out.

I escaped death, and Yang Xia was fine, but her arm was broken, but Xiao An Nuan ......

The driver who caused the accident died on the spot, and he was fully responsible for driving drunk and running a red light.

But what's the point?

Back at home, Yang Xia seemed to be a different person, a person who could cry for a long time at any little thing before, but this time she didn't cry, she came to the cradle in a daze, gently pushed, and the cradle slowly swayed, as if her daughter was still inside.

I wanted to be comforted, but I didn't know how to speak, my mind was already blank at that time, was it sad? I don't know! It's like something has been cut off, and my heart is empty, and I can't speak.

I stood and looked at her.

Today's sky seems to be extraordinarily gloomy, is it obviously the sun coming out, or is it getting late? I couldn't tell the difference, I tried to pull the corners of my mouth, trying to show a little smile, and tell her, are you hungry?

She didn't answer, I thought about going to the kitchen to prepare some food first, and when I came out, I saw Yang Xia on the phone, and the doctor was opposite.

"Doctor, does An Nuan hurt?"

The doctor hesitated for a while, "It doesn't hurt, she's not conscious, she can't feel it!" ”

"Oh, that's good! My family is warm, and I am most afraid of pain. ”