Hou Chunhui once jokingly told me that the fortune teller said that he would have two wives in his life, and I only thought he was talking nonsense.

If you don't count, it's the big star in it, but if you count it, the harem text written before, all the wives he has written over the years, there are countless wives in his writing, not to mention two.

And just yesterday, I really discovered her existence.

What I wrote next, I just said that I was scribbling to get attention, and I hope none of this is true, it's me. Just last night, my head felt like it had undergone a nuclear explosion, and it was painful.

Hou Chunhui's two wives, one is me, and the other is also me.

After finishing all his posthumous affairs, putting everything about him in the box, and not having to open the cremation certificate (posthumous ID card), I completely fell into a breakdown, stopped writing for a long time, and closed my business for a long time.

I wanted to do both things, but I couldn't do either, I thought I was overestimating myself, how could I get out of the trauma so quickly, and still have a code word with one hand and a career with the other.

A mental torture that words can't describe, long sleepless nights, and no sleepiness during the day, made me worry about my body. For the sake of my child, in August, I decided to go to the hospital to seek help from a doctor, but I was diagnosed with mild or mild depression and no anxiety.

The doctor prescribed me antidepressant medicine and sleep aid, the effect was average, but it was much stronger than before, and I was finally able to fall asleep for a short time, and I saw Hou Chunhui several times in my dreams.

When I went for a follow-up appointment half a month later, Qu and Taisoft asked me how I was doing. I found clues in the chat, I said that I feel that there are two mes living in my body, one strong and one weak, the strong one I can't take the weak one, I want to stay in a small place to earn a little money and idle all my life, and when I get to the city, I am unwilling to fight for a foothold.

Tai Soft said then let the strong one eat the weak one, I said it was impossible. Thai soft said that if the strong can't eat the weak, how can it be considered strong, it can only be said that it is evenly matched.

The doctor asked me about my situation, just a simple judgment to prescribe depression medicine, and I told Taisoft during the chat, in fact, I had two nicknames in high school, one was called Brother Jie, and the other was called Ah Leng, but Ah Leng only had one Ye classmate called that, I thought he wanted to be special, just like Ban Hua also wanted to make a special call me Xiaojie.

Most of the time, I didn't know "she" existed. I feel like I'm a Virgo, a sign that is recognized as a perfectionist with obsessive-compulsive personality and a weird personality. I lost friendship in childhood, lost love in middle age, my life experience was imperfect, and I couldn't sleep when I had something in my heart, so I couldn't sleep because of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I did a physical examination, thyroid, cardiovascular, cerebrovascular, liver and kidney cancer embryos, all no problem, too, since the new crown vaccine, I haven't had a cold for three years, and I have been running around to start a business, and I haven't been yang once. Fifteen years of serious poor sleep, but with such a body like an iron warrior.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm asleep or not.

On the way back from the doctor's visit, I listened to music with headphones on, and found that only one earphone had a sound, and the other one seemed to be broken, but they were all put into the shell and all of them lit up.

I had a minor surgery that could be done or not, it was a circumcision. With stitches on my body, I came home and saw my dad taking my son back from the supermarket and buying six bubble gums, which he was about to swallow and was stopped by me in time. My dad said that he only knew that he was clamoring to buy candy, so he bought it for him, but he didn't know that it was bubble gum, and he had already swallowed six of these at noon.

I was so angry that I scolded my dad, and then ran to the supermarket and scolded a few employees who sold goods, a three-year-old child who didn't know anything, a drunk old man, how dare you sell them bubble gum!

The aunt at the supermarket was aggrieved: I told him "this is bubble gum".

Children know what bubble gum is, and the old man only listens to you when you are teasing the child and doesn't understand what you mean! Why don't you say, "You can't swallow it!" Can't be swallowed! Can't be swallowed! ”

I'm so angry that I'm going to crack!

When I got home, I picked up the bubble gum that I had thrown away, chewed one, and wondered how big the bubble gum was, the size of six in his stomach, the size of an egg.

I asked the doctor, I can only observe whether it can be discharged, and the child's physical state, I drove the car, I told my mom that I wanted to vomit a little, my mom said that you didn't swallow bubble gum, and when I heard the word "bubble gum", my body instantly had a vomiting reaction, yue~

My mom said bubble gum again, yue~, my son also said bubble gum, yue~, the two of them thought it was funny and kept saying bubble gum, I couldn't control my body yue~, until I roared, don't say those three words, I want yue to have stitches to crack!

My psychological effect is so menacing, but since I met Hou Chunhui, this problem I have had since I was a child has disappeared for six years, six years ago, I would have a low-grade fever when I saw spicy strips, and I would have diarrhea when I saw the unhygienic food production process.

It was he who healed me, after all, he could eat anything. It was he who healed me, after all, he was so good at sleeping.

But I also had diarrhea when I was with him, but I also had trouble falling asleep when I was with him. I'm so conflicted, so incomprehensible.

I had a group chat with my good friends, and we were silent for a long time, and we only started talking recently.

"I find that I speak a little weirdly now, but I'm kind."

The brick said: "Brother Jie, you are in the yin and yang of kindness, right?"

"I'm sorry, I used to speak very badly, I haven't seen you for many years and I'm not so familiar, and I feel that I haven't been a good friend since I don't see it, I don't have to scruple to speak, I will practice speaking with high emotional intelligence, and I feel that I can't master the strength well, so it looks yin and yang weird and tea."

Lan Lan said: "Brother Jie, we know, you are the least tea-free. You have to pay attention to your body, take medicine and see a psychiatrist, it's really not okay to travel. ”

Banzhuan said: "Brother Jie, it doesn't affect your body if you don't have to sleep, you can find a night shift!" Double pay is so cool! ”

When it comes to going to work and wages, one thing comes to mind. Before going to the hospital to see a doctor, I lived in my sister's place, and the second sister of the second uncle's family was also there, and when it came to a nasty step-grandmother, I said to the second sister, you and her are not unfamiliar, but there is a grudge. Didn't your parents tell you about the past?

The second sister said: "My dad only said that she locked up the rice and didn't let them eat it, and my mom kept calling her an old witch. ”

Then I told my second sister a bedtime story, which caused her to be distracted on the first day of work, and she was late and happened to meet the leader.

I asked them if they wanted to hear the story of "What Fallen Princess Still Has to Work", and I will tell you 50.

Lan Lan said: "Brother Jie, keep it on my account like in high school, and pay you back next time." ”

Then I told them stories in the group for a night, and while telling the story, I found "her", and I began to realize that it was not simple depression, but a more serious "dual personality".

I began to sort out the "I" of the past 28 years, and found that all the incomprehensible and contradictory contradictions were explained by dual personalities, all of which were traceable and reasonable.

It's not that "I" can't sleep, it's that "we" are all awake.

The doctor asked me twice if I had "suicidal or masochistic tendencies", and I firmly said no.

Is it true that depressed patients "feel that they are useless" and "life is boring", and their psychological defense line is too weak, so they choose to end their lives to escape reality?

Then I'm not, I'm useful to my family and children, my career prospects are also very good, I will face things bravely, and I will never "commit suicide".

But just last night, I completely discovered the "dual personality", I experienced unprecedented mental torture, brain waves like high-voltage electricity leakage, CPU about to dry burn! The body is like an electric shock.

Under such intense mental torture, I am no longer sure.

For the first time, my body watched two "personalities" fight for a night, or maybe it's been four months, or it's been 28 years. Every day the brain gives orders, the departments of the body go to sleep, fight behind closed doors, sleep the one who loses, and wake up the one who wins.

But last night, they told everyone, "Don't sleep." (End of chapter)