In Dongfang Siyi's memory, that night, he and Yu Mei were the only two people who walked together.

In fact, Yu Ming will not know and will not understand, his worries are unnecessary. In Dongfang Siyi's heart, Yu Mei's position is also like his own sister, and his heart is the same as Yu Ming, just thinking about how to love her. Whether it is the ignorant emotions of young boys and girls, or the hazy consciousness of the beginning of love, he has not been able to find anything beyond the love of brother and sister, just like the pure vase, only containing the good wishes and blessings of the years.

Many years later, Dongfang Siyi once talked to Yu Ming about his mood that night. Because of the existence of Yu Ming's brother, Dongfang Siyi rarely had the opportunity to get along with Yu Mei alone, and that night was considered one and the only time after going to middle school. Dongfang Siyi said to Yu Ming: "Thank you for inadvertently giving me this opportunity to experience a special hazy emotion that can only be found in the days of boys and girls. ”

Dongfang Siyi told Yu Ming truthfully: "I followed Yu Mei, looking at her back, just thinking about protecting her, accompanying her like a shadow to protect her, and even wanting to be her shadow forever." That night, some childish thoughts that only boys would have flashed through his mind one after another, and Dongfang Siyi would laugh dumbly when he thought about it today.

Yu Ming has always been a teenager and an old man, and the words he once said to Dongfang Siyi have become a reality many years later. After graduating from high school, Yu Mei was successfully admitted to a key university in the north, where she majored in forensic medicine. What puzzled Dongfang Siyi was why this girl, who had seen a dead mouse and would run away, chose the forensic profession?

Yu Mei went from undergraduate to master's degree, and then went to doctoral study after finishing her master's degree. Reading seems to have become her eternal pleasure, Dongfang Siyi sometimes thinks that this may be the difference between a top student and a scumbag. He also reads, but both as a student and now as a judge, he learns passively. Only when he thinks that he has to study, and if he doesn't study, he can't solve the problem in front of him, will he force himself to burrow into the stacks of books.

It wasn't until many years later that I saw Yu Mei again at the class reunion, and when Dongfang Siyi mentioned this question that she didn't have the opportunity to ask at that time, Yu Mei said very easily: "I chose the medical major only because I was interested in people, or the human body. You know I love to draw, and I wondered if I wanted to go to an art school. I thought about it for a long time, and it wasn't until I filled in the application after the college entrance examination that I decided that I wanted to study medicine. Because, in addition to being interested in the external things of the human body, that is, the so-called human form, I don't know why, I am more interested in human physiology and so on, and I always have an urge to explore. ”

Yu Mei looked at Dongfang Siyi, who had a wide open mouth, and smiled: "Later, I felt that I might be more suitable to do research work in this area, which is why I finally chose to major in medicine." This is the simplest and most primitive impulsive consciousness of human anatomy, and it is this impulsive consciousness that helped me choose the medical profession, not other factors, let alone the so-called deliberate thinking. You won't be surprised or frightened when you hear it, will you? In your eyes, I may just be a little girl with a weak personality, and you wouldn't have thought that I would have such strange subconscious impulses. ”

Thinking about it now, she has indeed found the profession she is interested in, and she has also found the career she loves. Dongfang Siyi knows that Yu Mei has become a well-known expert in forensic science in China, and has used her special professional theories to help the police solve many difficult and important cases, and is regarded as a god-like help to the police.

After Dongfang Siyi and Yu Ming finished their undergraduate studies in ordinary universities in the province, they returned to the county seat, and according to the distribution policy of college students at that time, they were successively assigned to the county court and the county government.

Yu Ming, with his intelligence and youthful style, quickly emerged. He started as a clerk, climbed the ladder step by step, and is now the deputy county magistrate of the county government. Because of his plain style and remarkable political achievements, he has won the trust of the people, and he can be regarded as a capable person who has benefited one party for one term of office, and has realized his own ideal of staying on the ground in a down-to-earth manner.

When taking a group photo after the class reunion that day, Yu Ming unswervingly dragged Dongfang Siyi and asked him to always stand by his side, deliberately making Dongfang Siyi lose the little idea of getting close to Yu Mei again.

It wasn't until after the group photo was over that Yu Ming looked at Dongfang Siyi and smiled happily: "With my eldest brother here, I will never think of any idea of beating my little sister." Dongfang Siyi also smiled: "Old cadre, you really don't have any mood, and you are still so stubborn today." I want to tell you again that she is not only your sister, but also mine. Can't I care about her? You should know that this kind of care is not intended or utilitarian, but only the concern of one partner for another, and it is completely voluntary on the part of one person. ”

Dongfang Siyi looked at Yu Ming, who was full of puzzlement, and said: "This kind of care doesn't even need another person to know, let alone any return and response from another person, it's just an act that belongs to oneself." Can you stop me from caring about her in my heart? Love her? Or can it be said that she is missed? This is a simple thing that cannot be simpler, but you, an old cadre, are overly complicated. Do you know? You, the sister, have lost the ability to understand at least an adult. Between people, in addition to family, friendship, and love, there is also an emotion, which has both the temperature of the previous three emotions, and is different from them, it is the fourth emotion. I thought about it for decades before I figured it out, and I was destined to only maintain this fourth emotion with my little sister. You can see it as affection, or you can see it as friendship, and nothing else. ”

Yu Ming grinned, looked at Dongfang Siyi with a somewhat complicated expression, and for the first time calmly admitted another thought in his heart: "Actually, I want to say that I regret it very much, regret that I didn't let you pursue Xiaomei back then, you may not believe it." Some things may be predestined, and of course, many things are also man-made. If I let my little sister marry a decent gentleman like you, it may be her best destination. ”

Dongfang Siyi understands Yu Ming's inner thoughts very well. Yu Mei's marriage was not happy, she married her boyfriend who had pursued her for many years when she was in graduate school, and she also spent a peaceful time after marriage. Later, the ex-husband who had vowed to love her for the rest of his life went to the United States to study for a doctorate, and in less than half a year, he hitched a ride with the daughter of a wealthy businessman and lived with the rich woman.

The man didn't care about Yu Mei's feelings, and soon after he lived with the rich woman, he called and told him truthfully about his decision, claiming that he was open to the relationship between men and women, and that Yu Mei could choose to maintain a lover relationship with him in the future. Yu Mei didn't expect him to be able to say such shameless words, it was really shameless and bottomless.

Yu Mei took the initiative to file for divorce, and when she filed a lawsuit with the court, the man quickly sent legal documents regarding the consent to the divorce. It's very simple, because in this married life between him and Yu Mei, he is just a winner, and all he pays is hypocrisy, but Yu Mei has paid her own hard work and all her material responsibilities. This marriage hurt her very much, and until now she is alone, she said that she does not want to be hurt again, and she does not want to let herself sink into meaningless emotional entanglements.

Dongfang Siyi also told Yu Ming with a calm smile: "Actually, I never really thought about chasing her, let alone being able to marry her. You should know, I've always thought I wasn't worthy of her. In front of her, I don't know why there is always an inferiority complex, like a wall that stops me and makes it difficult for me to get by. This kind of inferiority complex made me lose the courage of a teenager, or I didn't have the courage to do that at all. Perhaps, from elementary school to middle school to university, I felt far inferior to her, she performed too well, the best among us, which made me feel an unattainable inferiority complex and anxiety. ”

After years of precipitation, those hazy youths and youthful dreams have become stable and calm after middle age. The years have closed the gentle, veil-like barrier one by one, and you can dimly feel their looming existence, but you can no longer pull them apart as easily as in the past, perhaps this is the best distance that the years reserve for friendship.

For Dongfang Siyi, Yu Mei is the glimmer of good times that can illuminate his life that he will always collect in his heart. He misses her as much as he misses the sunshine in spring, he cares about her, he cares about her as much as he cares about the moon or not, he cares about her, just as he cares about the clouds and rains of the sky. Sometimes, for no reason, her shadow would appear in his heart, and this feeling would naturally become a part of his life, without any selfish distractions, nor any desires between men and women.

Decades of career as a judge have made Dongfang Siyi's heart dominated by a kind of loneliness, which is a kind of active loneliness, a kind of conscious and voluntary loneliness. Dongfang Siyi has always remembered the sentence in "The Mean of Rites": "A gentleman is cautious and independent, and does not deceive the dark room." Humble and self-shepherding, with chapters and chastity. ”

As a professional judge, standing between heaven and earth, he should promote the righteousness of heaven and earth, do things above board, be self-denying, be cautious, keep his heart, and be clear. In the details of dealing with people, even if it is invisible or audible to others, we must be cautious and do not do things that violate morality and legal conscience. All things have their own laws, which is what we call the way of heaven, the earth and humanity, and following these laws and being cautious in words and deeds is the right path we should choose.

There is a kind of friendship, in the heart of the lonely soul, as warm as the sun, bathed in this friendship, can always make people naturally obtain a kind of spiritual support. There is a kind of friendship, in the heart of the open-minded person who has read the world, like the tranquility of the garden, which can always make people forget to return and enjoy themselves.

The friendship between Dongfang Siyi and Yu Mei is such a friendship. He would occasionally remember a mutually understanding smile she had given him, a casual word of concern, a nonchalant gesture, a greeting after a long absence. She remembered him in the same way, leaving her a pair of gloves with body temperature, a back that she left with peace of mind when she got home, a vase that could hold her own unique time and dreams.

(Next Episode: Chapter 43: Eros and Bacchus)