In a dorm room with a half-hidden door, a few sneakers were scattered on the ivory-yellow floor tiles, and dirty cigarette butts loomed in the corner. The four iron single beds were piled with pillows and bedding that had never been folded, and there were panties of various colors hanging from the bedside that they were too lazy to put away. All the beds are in the upper bunk, and the lower bunk is in the place of the computer desk. Right in front of the computer desk next to the balcony, a bare-chested man rests his feet on the table, holding braised beef noodles in one hand and putting noodles in his mouth with a fork in the other. The heat enveloped his head, and he devoured it with a loveless expression.

If I could, I would like to make it an oil painting, with bold lines and bright and soft light. I named it "The Death of the Face".

On this day, he closed the door to the dormitory, but did not turn off the lights. I just wanted to lie in bed and rest for a while, but I didn't want to fall asleep unconsciously.

The night in Northern × Capital does not have the comfort of Fengshen Valley, and sweat spurts out from every pore on the body, gathering into drops, and then converging into a stream of water. Chen Feng was lying on the hard mat with his back facing the sky, and in a trance, he saw the fluorescent lamp staring at him. He seemed to be on the subway again, and there was a couple not far from him who were forgetting to kiss, and on the other side was also a couple, arguing endlessly.

The subway soon arrived, and he walked towards the door. He was a little strange and a little embarrassed. The passengers around him did not avoid him because he was naked, but just cast strange glances, like watching a dog that broke into the subway.

The gray door opened, and he stomped on the soft grass. Without looking back, without doubt, he raised his hand and touched the rough bark, the small tree was now much thicker, and the bright leaves rattled in the breeze. Sunlight casts from the canopy of the trees, jumping in the forest with dots and stars. Shiny, dim, and the T-shirt on the floor, white and dazzling. The red trail spilled on the T-shirt, a faint touch, accompanied by that gust of wind......

He suddenly woke up, only to find himself lying on the ground. I don't know if it's because he didn't wake up, or because the person who fell asleep from the bed won't fall and get hurt, Chen Feng didn't feel very painful, but there was a little soreness on his body.

When he got up and tried to climb back into bed, the pain finally came to him. Sitting in a narrow chair and looking at it, both knees and elbows have turned black and purple. Holding his legs and baring his teeth, he gasped for breath, and the sweat that had flowed all over his body came out like a fountain. The two big-footed girls shook in mid-air, almost knocking over the half bucket of soup left over from eating instant noodles on the table.

"Let's go home!" He thought.

He woke up late the next morning, and his aching limbs kept him hesitant to go home. It's just that at that moment last night, the painful knee made him suddenly feel aggrieved, hugged his leg and gasped, and resisted the urge to grin and cry several times. But he didn't cry after all, gritted his teeth and crawled back to the bed. It tried its best to return to its dream in the woods, but it never returned.

Lie on your back in bed and enjoy the scorching heat of the sun on your shoulders. He was the only one in the empty dormitory, and no one brought him breakfast, so it seemed that this meal was saved again.

Sit up and look at the familiar dorm room. Originally, there were four people, and the other two moved out early because they had girlfriends who disdained to live with the two of them anymore. Now, this dormitory is nothing more than a warehouse for those two people.

He sighed softly, looked down at his swollen knees, and was secretly glad that he hadn't been broken. But how could it be in retrospect? Now he is not a mortal, how could he fall like this? If you think about it again, if you were an ordinary person, it is estimated that no one would be able to fall to the ground over the guardrail of more than ten centimeters while sleeping, he is indeed not a mortal.

Reaching out and touching his knee, a chill soaked through the swollen piece. Although the bruise could not be cured immediately, it was not so painful after all.

The phone rang suddenly, and it was my sister calling.

"Xiaofeng, come home. Accompany my grandfather back to his hometown. ”

"Okay."

Chen Feng agreed simply, which was beyond his sister's expectations. She originally wanted to persuade Chen Feng well, and put on a posture of knowing how to reason and moving with emotion, but she didn't expect the ending to be so neat. But it was this neatness that made her feel inexplicable, like riveting all her strength to move a cardboard box, only to find that the box was empty, so that she didn't know where to put her arms. Turning her head to look at her mother in the kitchen, who was still staring at her worriedly.

"He's back."

"Huh?"

Since Chen Feng came back last time, his grandfather told him that the ring was a pair of brothers, and his mother's heart has been turning upside down. In the past half a month, she quarreled with her father several times, and she secretly cried every night. She was afraid to see Chen Feng, but she wanted to hug her son tightly. She was afraid that her son would push her away, but she wanted him to grow up and fly away quickly.

Mom has been entangled in this contradiction for twenty-four years, watching the black boy change from a small ball of meat to a big strong man, watching him grow tall and strong, naïve and naïve, watching him naughty and smiling. But every time his face appeared in front of him, the scene of twenty-four years ago became clearer and clearer. She hated the child's father, and hated the man she had loved all her life. But she couldn't hate him, she couldn't hate the man who was as heartbroken as she was.

When Chen Feng was very young, her mother realized that her son had inherited her sensitivity, and he was not as arrogant as ordinary boys. He shouldn't have known what had happened, but he was still separated from his family.

She sighed, put down the freshly peeled shallots in her hand, and bent down to take out a bag of minced beef from the fridge. Beef and green onion stuffed dumplings, this is his favorite food.

Every time she knows that Chen Feng is back, her mother's heart is still very sweet, she doesn't need her youngest son to say anything, even if he is lying on the sofa watching TV, his heart is beautiful. In the past few years, she often took Chen Feng to visit the vegetable market, where she chatted with the third aunt and six mothers-in-law, as long as Chen Feng stood next to her, she could even talk to the uncle who sold vegetables for half an hour. With such a tall and strong son standing behind her, she looked very proud when she chatted.

"When was his car?"

"Noon."

Hearing Grandpa's cough, Mom's heart suddenly tightened. I put down the half-mixed minced meat and walked to the living room, and saw my grandfather sitting upright on the sofa as usual, closing his eyes and recuperating.

Grandpa is getting old and starting to get confused. She suddenly regretted agreeing to let Chen Feng accompany her grandfather back to her hometown, afraid that he would say something in a daze that Chen Feng had been deliberately not letting Chen Feng know. Although she also knows that even if she says it, her son will not believe it, and even if she believes it, what can she do? He's not the little boy with a toy gun and imagines he's a hero, and he probably won't ask them for any more mess.

But what's the deal with the rings? Grandpa never mentioned it in all these years. Now in the hands of a silly boy, in the end, it feels weird. Also, what happened to my son that day? The clothes were all gone, even the underwear was gone. I came home naked in the middle of the night, and the black shorts on my body were not the ones I wore out, and I didn't find them again when I washed my clothes.

Mom's heart tightened again, and she didn't dare to think about it anymore.

"Call Xiaofeng again, and say that I made dumplings for him, beef and green onions." Mom turned to her sister and said, "Ask him what he wants to eat." ”

After a while, Chen Feng replied to WeChat and said that he wanted to eat pig's trotters. My sister complained to her mother that she couldn't cook meat anymore, saying that he would be too fat if she ate meat again. Mom didn't listen, she just said that she could manage it at home, and she didn't eat as much as she wanted at school.

"You're used to him."

"I don't know what I'm used to one, and what the other day will be like." Mom stirred the stuffing, and her throat was suddenly so tight that she couldn't speak, and her voice trembled a little.

"Can't get in touch with that family?"

"What face do we have to meet him? I don't know what he looks like now. ”

"What else can it look like? If you see Xiaofeng, you won't see him? My sister said, "It's been more than 20 years, and you don't always worry about it." People are better off than us, and he can't afford to lose. ”

Mom was speechless for a moment, sobbing and wiping away tears. To this day, she still can't understand why her father secretly gave away his children back then, and the twins couldn't grow up together. Although the family was poor at that time, it was not impossible to starve to death if they left their children......

"Xiaofeng will graduate next year, you should pay attention to the daughters of the people around you, it's time to tell him a daughter-in-law."

"You're really worried, he'll find it himself in Bei × Beijing, not to mention that he doesn't know if he wants to come back."

"If you tell me, you will say that if you find a daughter-in-law at home, he will definitely not leave."

When Chen Feng arrived home, it was still bright, and when he heard the door, his mother came out of Chen Feng's room to open the door. The moment the door opened, she was still used to reaching for her son's backpack, and Chen Feng was still used to taking off her shirt and flushing it into the toilet.

On this day, Dad didn't come back for dinner, someone asked him out for a drink, and I don't know what time it will be home. Chen Feng ate two large plates of dumplings in one go, and also nibbled on a hot and slimy pig's trotters, and ate a few prawns and some stir-fried vegetables by the way.

If it weren't for his grandfather's sudden snoring, Chen Feng would have even forgotten the purpose of his return. His mother told him that his grandfather had been clamoring to go back to his hometown recently, and he was just in time for Chen Feng's holiday, so he asked him to accompany his grandfather back during this time to see if there was any problem with the house in the village. Ask if anyone wants to buy a homestead, they are unlikely to go back to Texas, and it is too troublesome to go back to repair the house every year, so it is better to sell it to save trouble.

As soon as Mom's words landed, an old voice mixed with phlegm came over. "I'm not dead yet, my land can't be sold!"

Mom and sister smiled helplessly and didn't speak. Chen Feng pouted, used chopsticks to pull the shrimp skin chop on the table into the bowl, and began to clean up the table. Mom snatched the chopsticks from him and drove him into the living room to watch TV. Grandpa opened his eyes slightly, then closed them again.

"Iron Bull, did I put the ring on you?"

Grandpa's sudden question made Chen Feng frown, and before he could speak, his mother rushed out of the kitchen again. But she didn't speak, just glanced at her grandfather. Chen Feng didn't answer his grandfather's words, got up and went back to the room. He doesn't know what to say, to be honest? It is estimated that it will scare the whole family to death. Make up nonsense? As soon as he said nonsense, he blushed and sweated, and no one believed him. It's better to avoid mentioning it.

(I'm often asked "right or wrong", and I don't always know how to answer.) It's not that I can't judge, it's that I can't always put myself in someone else's shoes. Who can tell? Your "right" can only be "wrong" in the eyes of others, and your "wrong" is still "wrong" in the eyes of others. No one can say anything about the past, but I don't like to comfort myself and others with "it's all over", because we are all like Chen Feng's mother, who has passed for others, but what about me? ）