(I don't want to remember the past.) A lot of things that shouldn't have happened happened. ）

Footsteps suddenly sounded on the steps outside the door, and Chen Feng closed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows tightly. He knew who was coming in and what was going to happen next.

The footsteps shuttled unhurriedly from room to room, and it seemed that he had grabbed a handful of melon seeds in the big room and swallowed them. After going around the big house, I didn't find my grandfather, so I turned around and returned to the hall. There was a little hesitation in his footsteps, he walked around the hall and stopped, coughed tentatively, and asked, "Uncle, are you at home?" "It's Erbao.

There was a sound of water outside the door curtain, and it was supposed that Erbao was scooping water from the water tank behind the door, and then it was a coo-dong swallow.

Chen Feng stood inside the curtain, clenched his fists excitedly, and stared at the cotton cloth in front of him in a daze, which was the last barrier for the silly boy.

The curtain was lifted, and Erbao's young face pierced into Chen Feng's eyes. He was still so red, his little eyes looked into the room, his gaze passed through Chen Feng who was standing in front of him, and fell on the small meat ball on the kang. He smiled, sat on the edge of the bed, and reached out to pat the little dark face.

"Uncle Erbao......" The child struggled to open his eyes, stretched his waist and snorted slightly. Erbao smiled again, pinched his shiny little nose, and asked him where his grandfather had gone.

"I don't know......" the little fat man replied confusedly.

He stood up, swallowed melon seeds and walked to the door, and was about to lift the curtain to leave, but suddenly turned around. Perhaps what he saw at this time was the same picture as what Chen Feng saw—a fleshy little fat man lying in a bright room, his whole body strong and powerful, glowing with sunlight shining in from the window. The chick × the chick stood up stiffly in the little blue panties and seemed to move......

Erbao seemed to remember something, hesitated to open the curtain and look out, ran out of the house and closed the courtyard door, and when he came back, he plugged in the door of the hall again...... When he walked into the room again, Chen Feng heard his heavy breathing.

His face was still hesitant, but his feet slowly came to the bed. Sitting on the kang weir, he reached out and patted the little fat man's face. Chen Feng grabbed Erbao's shoulder violently, but it was still to no avail, so he could only watch him kiss the little fat man on the face.

"Iron Bull, are you awake?"

"Uncle Erbao, what are you doing!" The child seemed to be enraged by this sudden interruption, and angrily pushed away the hand that was placed on his chest, twisting his face to the side, leaving Erbao with a round ass.

Erbao lay on the kang, playing with the child's ears with his stinky hands, and patting his ass with the other. As if thinking of something again, he stood up and began to fumble in his pocket. After a while, he found a piece of paper and dangled it in front of the silly boy with a grin. "Boy, what is this? Want it? ”

The child struggled to open his eyes again, and the moment his eyes fell on the piece of paper, the little eyes suddenly widened. Almost jumped up, two stout little arms hugged Erbao's big hand, and shouted "Give me ......"

The piece of paper was twenty yuan, and Chen Feng remembered it clearly.

The room was filled with happy laughter, and Chen Feng, who was standing on the side, had almost forgotten everything that was about to happen. In this hut, all he could see was a loving uncle teasing his lovely nephew.

But what was destined to happen happened after all, no matter how Chen Feng shouted, and no matter how he swung his fist at Erbao, he couldn't touch them in the slightest. The miserable white light penetrated every corner of time, but it couldn't shine into the eyes of the black boy lying on the bed.

Reaching out and opening his mouth to endure the burning pain, trying to burn the threads of time. But he seemed to have been wrapped in a layer of plastic wrap, seeing that he had grasped the silk thread, seeing that he had already choked Erbao's neck, and his thick fingers were still bounced back by the invisible film......

Seeing Erbao stand up, Chen Feng was tired and no longer struggled, everything looked so pale and weak.

The silly boy seemed to be really stupid, lying on the bed with his mouth open and motionless. For the first time, the little boy sprayed something white, and from the little bird that was just beginning to grow hair, he got a full belly.

Erbao bent down and patted the little fat man's face again. In the quiet room, Chen Feng heard him swallow something in his mouth, something that the silly boy sprayed for the first time.

He walked out of the room through Chen Feng in front of him, as if he had passed through a shadow cast by a spider's web. The door of the hall rang, and so did the door of the courtyard......

Sitting on the kang weir and looking at the frightened child, he still retains the memory of that time. happily snatched the money from his uncle's hand, and fantasized about going to the amusement hall to play games with Haizi. Ignoring the fact that the uncle reached out and grabbed the little guy's cow, thinking that it would be the same as when he was a child, and the adults would pinch the little boy's little finch. He didn't understand why his uncle would take off his pants, or why he was fiddling with it endlessly, but he was surprised to see him stick out his tongue and be so frightened that he didn't dare to move. Until the strange excitement is over, there is an emptiness that seems to never be filled, and a fear that I dare not tell anyone......

The child finally moved, sitting on the kang weir with his bare little buttocks, his feet hanging in the air, staring at the air in front of him. Looking down at the money in his hand, he accidentally rubbed something sticky on his stomach. Tears rolled out of his eyes, and on his face were two large crystalline stars.

"Mom......"

The colors of the world flew away like dust, leaving only a sketch of a stick pen. This picture was fixed in front of Chen Feng's eyes for a long time and did not want to fade, and the child with tears on his face sat on the kang weir, grinning and calling out to his father and mother thousands of miles away......

After so many years, he had long forgotten that he had thought that he had no longer been attached to the two people who had brought him into this world since he was a child, and that there was no place for them in the soft corners of his heart. It wasn't until now that I remembered that when I was most nervous and helpless, what I was looking forward to the most was still the warmth that was thrown away from the memory.

Thunder rang out in the sky, and two blue lights burned in the tearful eyes.

"Where were you then...... Looking at the unfinished breakfast in front of him, warm tears welled up in his eyes and dried up, and the feeling of humiliation squeezed the whole world at this moment.

I don't remember how many times, he was picked up by Erbao who suddenly appeared. Maybe it's at home, maybe it's in the crop field, maybe it's in the alley where no one comes home from school...... It's like a ghost haunting an unattended child. It was an indescribable feeling, a fear, but also an expectation.

I believe that every man who sees this place will understand that at that age, every boy has a wolf in his heart that is desperate to get out of the cave, and the fire in his heart will explode at any time and gnaw at his whole body. But no one could tell him why, and no one told him what would happen next. All you know is that as you grow up, your body is undergoing indescribable changes every day. It makes you look forward to every opportunity to show those fresh muscles, to every opportunity to tell someone that you've grown, no matter how that opportunity happens.

But that's also the fear that struggles in your heart, grandpa's bright eyes and slightly upturned corners of his mouth become a ridicule that cannot be ignored, and the occasional teasing of adults is also an insulting tease in your eyes. So you're at a loss, so you don't want anyone to know, so you're going to consciously stop letting anyone take a shower for you, so you're going to sneak your hands and wash your panties.

In this contradiction, Chen Feng avoided almost all of Erbao's whereabouts, but the little wolf in his heart longed for the last moment of that day to happen again and again. He runs, he runs, he dodges when he can. Until he was finally caught by Erbao, he suddenly stopped resisting and struggling. Shame, resentment, nervousness, fear, anticipation, emptiness, and the inexplicable satisfaction that followed filled the growing body. He even began to learn from Erbao's example, fiddling with the gradually changing little finch in a place where no one was, and happily enjoying the sudden pleasure.

Sometimes, he couldn't escape the palm of Erbao just because of the insignificant temptation he wanted to come now. Sometimes it's to be able to play games on Erbao's computer for an hour, and sit there wholeheartedly, letting the beast get up and down. Sometimes it's because he has money in his hand, and with it he can buy what he wants...... And many times, Erbao would open his mouth and swallow the precious white that the little boy squirted.

Slowly he grew taller and stronger. The fluff on the beak turned into a stiff beard, and the finches no longer looked white and tender, but became black and strong. His world is getting bigger, but it's also getting smaller. The feeling that Erbao left in his heart slowly turned into pure disgust. He had enough strength to dodge him and fight back against him. Another person walked into his world, and since then he has thrown that humiliating experience into the garbage heap and never dug it up again.

Thinking about it carefully, he also tried to escape at that time, begging his parents to take him away on the phone, but all he got was a reprimand, and he coldly threw down a sentence: I'm busy, hang up first...... Or will tell him on the phone that if he is bullied, he will go to Uncle Erbao......

Haha, life is so wonderful. The authorities, the pain is unforgettable, but they pretend not to remember. Onlookers, wantonly pointing out the chess game, and looking forward to the show.

Until he never thought of them again, until his grandfather was too old and frail to take care of his rebellious grandson...... He is finally reunited with his parents, but he finally no longer craves their care.

There was a faint cry outside the door, the voice of a child.

Awakened from this shout, he suddenly realized that in these few seconds of memory, he had almost turned the world upside down. The gloom that lasted all night turned into a sea of rolling clouds, and the sultry breeze suddenly raged between the heavens and the earth, and the dark gray morning was like the deep night swallowed by darkness, only a thousand green snakes flew in the air, cutting through the chaos from antiquity with a miserable white light.

Hurrying out of the courtyard gate, a bolt of lightning illuminates the pond of childhood. In this moment of light, a teenage boy stood naked on the shore and cried, his thin figure was submerged in the darkness in a blink of an eye.