"Delphinch!"

She suddenly said in a loud voice: "I, I actually have a relatively negative, or cowardly thought!" I feel like I have to say it! ”

"When I didn't know the real cause of my mother's death, I could still look at the danger faced by magical girls with a normal heart. However, since I learned the truth, I have begun to feel entangled! ”

"I can't tell if it's hatred or fear, and I don't know which emotion is more. But I know that I feel very disdainful of my own thoughts. ”

Hearing her words, Delphinium did not comment directly, but asked rhetorically: "Why?" Because of your mother's business? ”

“…… I've been thinking about these things for the past few days, and I'm starting to think that it's not so good to know the truth. ”

Lin Xiaolu replied with a complicated face: "It's just 'knowing that the magical girl is at risk of dying' is completely different from 'the magical girl I know is dead'. ”

"Obviously, I used to think that it was something very far away from me, but it seems to have happened to me all of a sudden, and even when I dream, I start to feel restless."

"Weird, right? Obviously, I've been a magical girl for so long, but it's not until the past few days that I'm starting to feel scared, and even more thoughts about 'withdrawing' and 'avoiding' than feelings like 'revenge'. Because I would think, if one day I meet the enemy who killed my mother, will I die like my mother? ”

"I had the idea of 'revenge', but I was afraid of it, and even wanted to stay away and continue to pretend I didn't know."

"But in that case, am I still worthy of my mother? What is the point of my empowerment? As soon as I thought of this, even my belief in continuing to fight began to waver. ”

"Doesn't that sound ridiculous? Obviously, I used to want to know the truth about my mother's death. But when I learned the truth, I began to regret it. The heart is full of negative feelings: fear, guilt, self-denial...... It makes me think it's better not to know. ”

"I, really a very bad person, I told Delphinium before that I wanted to become stronger, I wanted to be your help, but because I knew a little bit more about it, I began to waver, and I began to feel scared."

"Obviously, Xia Liang also knew about it, but she even reached the bud level so quickly, and I still ...... until now"

Her words stopped.

Because she suddenly noticed that a somewhat cold palm held her hand.

"Why be sorry for this?"

Delphinium looked at her seriously: "Before you were a magical girl, you were just a child who didn't grow up in the first place. Fear of death is an instinct that even adults can't escape, so why would you be so self-defeating? ”

"However, if I don't stand up and take revenge, my mother's death will be ......," Lin Xiaolu said in a hurry.

"No one has to stand up, Bai Mei."

Delphinium clasped her hand and interrupted her, "Revenge shouldn't be considered by you, as Sakura's teammates, revenge is something we adults do." ”

"Don't think about revenge?"

Lin Xiaolu asked blankly: "In that case, how can I feel at ease?" What should I do? Can you really continue to immerse yourself in your own world as if you don't know anything, as before? ”

"It's always like this, like a family to defeat some weak beasts, and then tell yourself like a self-satisfied person, did I protect this city?"

"Even then, will there be a day when an enemy suddenly appears that I can't deal with, and then I will, and I will ...... too"

She felt like her thoughts were in turmoil.

As she herself said, many negative feelings were all mixed together, which made her self-identity lower than ever.

But what she doesn't know is that in fact, the vast majority of children, because of simple impulses or yearnings to become magical girls, will fall into a certain degree of confusion.

For Lin Xiaolu, the opportunity to feel this confusion is the truth about her mother's death.

When she first learned this information, she may have felt that she missed her mother. But with that comes a strong sense of dislocation.

Lin Xiaolu, who has always pinned her heart on the animation of magical girls, has imagined the word "magical girl" too beautiful and one-sided.

It seems that all things about magical girls have a filter in her heart, and as long as there is a little relationship, it will become full of dreams and fairy tales.

That's why she has no hesitation in becoming a magical girl, and she will also be quite brave when fighting the remnant beast, just because in her mind, she has become the "hero". It is all the unpleasant that should be detached from reality, and it is in a sweet dream.

It's just that such a layer of filters was shattered as he learned the truth about his mother's death, and that the progress of his cultivation was not as good as that of his peers.

The concept of "magical girl" increasingly overlaps with reality in her cognition, so that she can no longer regard this term as an imaginative spiritual sustenance, and instead brings a lot of thinking about the real situation.

Responsibility, Crisis, Loss, Death...... Many inevitable negative concepts have crossed over from the other side of the filter, which has become Lin Xiaolu's new trouble.

Because of this, at such times, she will subconsciously ask for help from Delphinium, the magical girl in her mind. After all, for her, the delphinium is the place where this "filter" is best preserved.

Regarding these things, Delphinium can't think about them so deeply, but this does not prevent her from feeling that Lin Xiaolu is in urgent need of her help.

These worries and anxieties seem to have two sources in common – insecurity and low self-esteem.

So, what should I say to my daughter, and what can I do to make my daughter feel better?

By the time she figured it out, she realized what she was going to do. In a word: fill up the gaps.

"Bai Mei, don't be in such a hurry."

So, after sorting out her inner thoughts, Delphinium took the initiative to speak: "I have always told you, don't be ambitious, not only in honor and strength, but also in the meaning of life. ”

"Seriously, do I really exist here?"

Stretching out her other hand, Delphinium gently held Lin Xiaolu's palm with both hands: "Can you feel it?" I'm standing here right now, in front of you, holding your hand. ”

Lin Xiaolu looked down, then nodded blankly.

"Then you feel it, and this is the reality you have."

Delphinium looked at her in a serious tone: "It's not that you are alone in the face of hatred, in the face of enemies, in the face of unknowable crises. The reality is that I'm here, and I'm going to guide you and I'm going to protect you, so you'll be fine. ”

"If you feel lost right now, then don't rush, think slowly, and make decisions slowly."

"If you are afraid of battle, I will deal with the enemy; If you don't want revenge, I'll avenge Sakura; You can think about things that you can't figure out, because you are still a child, and you still have a lot of time to grow. ”

"Even if you say that you don't want to be a magical girl anymore, you want to stay away from dangerous battles, and be an ordinary girl, it's ......"

At this point, she stopped suddenly.

As if remembering something for a moment, the delphinium pursed her lips slightly, vaguely struggling, but this expression was only fleeting, and her cold gaze turned into a slightly kind gaze after touching Lin Xiaolu: "That's okay, after all, you know, I'm a 'big man', and I can do this kind of thing." ”

What she didn't say was that under normal circumstances, magical girls want to become ordinary people again, and there are only two ways to report to the royal court and retire normally. The process of the former is even just a decoration, and almost no one walks through it.

Lin Xiaolu wouldn't know this, and there was no need to know.

She still looked stunned, but after hearing what Delphinium said, she slowly shook her head:

"I won't, I want to continue to be a magical girl."

"Is this what you mean?" Delphinium asked softly.

“…… Well. ”

The sloppy eyes refocused, and Lin Xiaolu nodded a little firmly: "I'm sure of this alone, because even now, magical girls are still my dreams." ”

Even if there are all kinds of distractions in her mind, what she is confused and confused about is always "how to be a good magical girl", not "whether to continue to be a magical girl".

As for what Delphinium said, she will accompany herself here......

"But, Delphinium, you're going to go, aren't you?"

Thinking of this, she had a few thoughts: "You are a big man in the magic realm, and you are only here for a short stay, even if you stay here, one day, you will leave here, right?" ”

"When the day comes, you're gone...... Am I going to have to look at you from afar like I see an official like a mayor or something? ”

The delphinium was somewhat silent.

She tried to let go of her hand, but found that she had been held by Lin Xiaolu's backhand at some point, and she couldn't pull it out.

didn't have the strength to break free, and the two were in a stalemate for a long time before she pretended to be calm and nodded: "Well, I'll go, but I can't lie to you about this alone." ”

It's just that the reason is different from what Lin Xiaolu thinks, not because he is an "inspector".

"Sure enough, it will."

Hearing her answer, Lin Xiaolu's expression became a little lost: "In that case, in fact, there won't be long days like this summer, right?" ”

The first thought in her heart was reluctance, but soon, she convinced herself.

In itself, the past few months since she met Delphinium have been like a beautiful dream for her: she has become a magical girl, met new friends, learned her mother's true identity, and her relationship with her father has improved a lot, and even her schoolwork has improved under Delphinium's teaching.

Even if there are new troubles now, it's not Delphinch's fault, it's just that I can't help but think too much.

She told herself that she had gained so much because of the arrival of the other party, and she should not continue to be greedy.

- "However, the time to leave is dominated by you. ”

What Lin Xiaolu didn't expect was that under the flat tone, the content of Delphinch's words suddenly reversed: "I will wait until you, you and Xia Liang, and even your entire team have grown up and can be on their own, and I will not leave." ”

This sentence made Lin Xiaolu stay in place for a while.

Taking this opportunity, the delphinium quietly let go of her hand: "In this way, will you feel a little more secure?" ”

"But, but, like me, if you want to become a powerful magical girl, you may not be able to ...... until you retire" was still shocked by what Delphinium said, Lin Xiaolu was a little speechless.

"Then wait until you retire." Delphinium turned her face sideways and said lightly.

After hearing such a statement, Lin Xiaolu felt that her heartbeat stopped.

An indescribable feeling, perhaps named flattered happiness, came to my heart in an instant.

She couldn't help but clutch her chest and said, "In that case, it's ten years ......."

"Well, ten years." The delphinium remained indifferent.

This made Lin Xiaolu feel more and more incredulous: "But there is no reason for this, why do you want to do this?" For people like me...... Even if you say that you are very good with my mother, I don't think I deserve it. ”

"Who said you weren't worth it?"

With one hand on his waist, Delphinium squinted at Lin Xiaolu: "If even you have given up your expectations and no longer face up to your own possibilities, how can you become your ideal appearance?" ”

"But can I really get that far?" Lin Xiaolu is still a little unconfident.

"Didn't Mo say that? You are a genius. ”

"It said it was a casual lie......"

"That's what I said, goblins, sometimes even they can't tell whether it's true or not."

Looking at the river in the distance, Delphinium said calmly: "The reason why I chose to stay in Fangting City, as you think, is indeed due to your mother, and because this is the city where I used to be stationed, I don't want it to be destroyed by the remnants of the beast." ”

"However, I myself can't stay here forever, and after Sakura dies, the older generation like us must pass the baton to the next generation."

"I saw you and Xia Liang here, and I also learned about you, so I believe in your possibilities as the next generation."

"Maybe Moko just said it casually, maybe you don't believe in yourself, but I believe that one day, you will become a magical girl who can protect anyone."

"The so-called ten years is just a bet and a bottom line, in my opinion, you will definitely become stronger, and it will definitely not take that long."

Delfinch's judgment was so decisive that it finally made Lin Xiaolu feel that the haze in her heart had been swept away a lot.

The hand covering her heart gradually clenched into fists, and her eyes reappeared: "Delphinch, do you believe me?" ”

"The answer is the same no matter how many times you ask, I believe."

Taking a few steps back, Delphinium looked at her daughter calmly: "So don't be presumptuous, keep your head up, you won't be worse than anyone." ”

After speaking, she half-turned, made a gesture of continuing to move forward, and finally confirmed to Lin Xiaolu: "Is there anything else you want to ask?" ”

Lin Xiaolu looked at the figure of the petite girl in front of her, the last bit of confusion in her expression gradually faded, and the originally dark expression became bright, and even faintly soft.

She shook her head, stopped talking, and walked forward with the delphinium in small steps, side by side.

The sound of crisp footsteps resounded on the empty bridge deck, but instead of the dull sound of coming, the sound was now light and more neat. Footsteps slowly moved from the center of the bridge to the opposite bank, crossed the river, crossed the long sidewalk, and finally faded into the unknowable distance on the other side.