After Mr. Yuan said this, I asked him, "Would you like to be friends with me?" ”

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because, I can't let it go. I know you too well, you just don't have a secure marriage. ”

Marriage...

I'm not afraid of marriage, nor am I afraid of getting divorced after I don't have love in my marriage. I'm just afraid that when I get married, my life will really start to fly at the speed of light.

We're going to have kids in the future, and my whole world is about them. I started to have no life, I started to live without my own fantasies, and I started to devote all my energy to my family.

Then the child grows up, and my world is all about the child. He started going to school for kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, high school, and university. I went from being in my twenties, to my thirties, to my forties, and even older.

What I fear most is that I will lose my mind, and among thousands of mothers, I have never met the kind of person I like.

My mother said, "I always like to worry about things that don't belong to me. ”

Possibly.

My mother suddenly read these two sentences into her book:

-- Everyone has a time when they are confused, and this is the time when we are really tested, so we need to calm down and think about it, maybe this decision will be a major turning point in our lives.

-- People say that cherishing the present is the most important thing, and it's true that no matter what you've been through, do what you have to do, and everything will become what you want.

I leaned into Mr. Yuan's ear, covered my mouth with my hand and said to him, "We spend our whole lives trying to get rid of other people's expectations and find our true selves." ”

"What do you mean?"

"I saw the years on my mother's face." I say.

"You just don't have enough time to spend with them, and so do I."

I ran to my mother's beach chair and pinched her legs: "Mom, do you love me very much?" ”

"You? I picked you up. My mother looked me up and down and smiled.

Well, I really owe it, and I always want my mom to say something I like to hear.

"Are you not satisfied with my current situation? I mean the life aspect. ”

"No, I think you're doing a good job. It's just that I always work overtime, but I come into contact with a lot of people. ”

"Well, Mom. How did you fantasize about my life before? ”

It seems that every mother is looking forward to her child's life, and she is excited when she says this.

"I used to have a miscarriage when I first had you. Several times, your cousin is very naughty. I was pregnant with you at the time, and Jiang Luoyi especially liked the stairs of your grandmother's house, running around. I had to hold on to him, afraid that he would fall, but when I went up the stairs for a while, my stomach hurt, and I felt something was wrong, so I quickly asked Lao Jiang to take me to the hospital. It's not just that, quite a lot. It's really gratifying that you've grown so big. ”

I've heard this story many times, and I tell it to her when I first hear it. I Jiang used to take me to the reservoir to play, and I was almost washed downhill by the water while sitting on the swimming ring, and I almost drowned.

"I was thinking, you girl has a big life. If you don't die in a great calamity, you will have a blessing, and you don't expect you to do anything. Live a life in peace and stability, and make do with college. Twenty-three or four, find a partner to marry, and it's good to start a family as soon as possible. ”

My God... My mom is simple. I just got married after graduating from college, and this is the beginning of my life. Just so casual, get married? Fell to death on a tree?

"I want you to be a painting teacher and open your own studio or something. The salary is not too high, as long as you can support yourself. Girls don't have to be too far from home, just open a studio near their home. Find a partner, you don't need to have a lot of money, you have the right person, you have a good character, just be good to you. ”

"And then? You're thinking about it very simply, isn't that creative? That's probably what mothers all over the world think. ”

"That's for sure, everyone wants their children to live safely."

"Do you think Yuan Shubai is the future son-in-law you imagined in your heart?"

"Hmm... Shubai is not. The son of the Qingling family was the type I imagined at first. ”

She's talking about an aunt's son, a high school teacher.

"Then how did you fall in love with Yuan Shubai?"

"Needless to say, Xiao Yuan is gentle and considerate. Be filial to us, and don't deduct from you. The family is good, his family is highly educated, handsome, and how beautiful he looks when he smiles. He has a higher education than you, a tall height, and a good job, so you are really cheap for nothing. ”

She praised Mr. Yuan's voice too loudly, and Yuan's mother said: "You are not talking about my son, how can my son be so good?" ”

"Yes, yes, you taught well. You should have a few more children like Xiao Yuan. Each girl has one, how can this one be enough. ”

Mr. Yuan was there, digging a hole in the beach and sitting in. Bury your legs with sand. I don't want to talk naively, and I'm really not talking to my mother.

"Mom, look at those two fools playing in the sand there."

"What nonsense, Xiao Yuan is a teenager. It's not like a thirty-year-old at all, and you don't know how to dress up every day. ”

"Okay, well, then tell me what the advantages are." I held my face and winked at her.

She put down the book and stared at my face very seriously for a long time. When I was very embarrassed, my mother picked up the book again and said perfunctorily:

"I've read it roughly, and I think your dad is right. Parents are not 100 points, and they can't expect 100 points from their children. ”

"What do you mean?"

"I don't understand this, which means you have to get by. Whether it's looks or work. ”

"I ......"

"Mom, you're really your own mother."

She said that, but I wasn't angry. Because I know that in her heart, although I am not very good, I am the best for her.

I still remember my first job in Beijing, in a company with Nianjun. Once, at work, because of a mistake, I delayed a big project and was scolded by the boss.

I called her, "Mom, I'm not bad at all." Am I stupid? ”

"No, you're a great boy in my heart. What's wrong baby? ”

"Am I really bad at everything? No wonder when you're at home, you call me lazy and say I'm not good at things. ”

"No, I said that to motivate you. I won't talk about it anymore, so don't cry. What's wrong? Unhappy at work? ”

I didn't say anything on the phone, I cried vigorously. She booked a plane ticket on the same day and flew to Beijing to see me. When I got back from work, I saw her back in the kitchen.

My mother doesn't know how to cook anymore, and the family is all cooked by old ginger. But that day, she was really serious about cooking every dish for me.

When he saw me come back, he was smiling. Without asking me what I was unhappy about, I just ate and said, "If you do everything well, you will feel a sense of accomplishment, right?" ”

She always encouraged me in another way, sometimes negatively, but that was just a concern for me.

Sometimes it's encouragement, I'm afraid that because of something, I'll touch the most vulnerable part of my heart.

It was the first time I had hugged her so hard. Her expression of surprise is still vivid in my mind after so many faces.

"Mom, you love me. But you never said it. ”

"I didn't say it, but I proved it with my actions. I want my daughter to be happy, that's a way to love. ”

Probably all mothers are like this, gentle and kind.

"I want you to be happy, because your dad and I can't be with you for the rest of your life. You have to learn to grow by yourself, and you have to learn to take care of yourself. It's not that you have to have a partner with you, it's better to have one. ”

This heavy chat...

"Don't talk about it, I'm just out to play today, it's so unpleasant to say this."

"Let's eat. Daddy, let's eat. ”

The old man didn't want to move, but Yuan's mother went over and called the two people over. This atmosphere made me suddenly feel that we should go fishing, dads while fishing, and moms while barbecing. It's so exciting, it's much more fun than basking in the sun here.

"Yuan cute, let's take mom and dad for a barbecue next time, right? It's the kind that you can barbecue while fishing. ”

Mr. Yuan gave me a thumbs up and looked at me with great admiration. When he praises me, I tend to be a little proud.

"It's so smart."

"That's it."

Eating the sandwiches made by Yuan's mother, watching them sit in a circle, there was a feeling that their eyes were going to be moist.

For parents, we do for children. I really owe too much, and I don't even have so much time to spend with me.

An occasional get-together, a trip, can make them go back and brag for a long time.

I felt that something was missing, and I rummaged through my bag for a long time and didn't find what I was looking for.

"Isn't that it?" Mr. Yuan took out his DSLR camera from his backpack and handed it to me.

"Yes, yes, that's it. How can there be no family portrait at this time? ”

Sitting on the blanket, Mr. Yuan put up the SLR. The first few photos were very restrained, and later Mr. Yuan said that they were all family. Why are you so nervous, you should eat and drink, and be natural.

Then Lao Jiang and Yuan's father really continued to eat.

A few shots down, each time the shot is more and more natural.

When I packed up my things and went back in the afternoon, I took another photo. Along the way, they were all discussing how happy they were today, and even a silent person like Yuan's father followed them to the circle of friends.

In order to continue to make them happy, Mr. Yuan said that he would go to the barbecue the day after tomorrow. The kind that can be fished, barbecued by yourself.

The two fathers and mothers sat in the back and waved their hands. Although Mr. Yuan and I were also smiling on our faces, we felt guilty in our hearts.

This kind of time when you get along with your family, just a simple play. can make them happy for a long time, and before that, we as children cared about them so indifferently.

We care so little about them.

They love us so much, with a lifetime, with countless years. And we are growing step by step, tired of their love, and escaping from their tenderness. They may even feel that their love is a control over our unborn lives.

But they forgot that when they were young, they also had enthusiasm and expectations for the future.

Therefore, the expectations for us are not too high, I just hope that we don't work hard.

I like Wang Zhengliang's "Where Has Time Gone"

-- Half survived a lot of words, and hid in a head full of gray hair.

Where has the time gone,

I don't feel young and old,

Bear children and raise daughters for the rest of your life,

My mind was full of children crying and laughing,

Where has the time gone,

I haven't taken a good look at your eyes,

Fuel, rice, oil and salt for half a lifetime,

In the blink of an eye, only the wrinkles on his face remained.