A scar in the heart

In the 60s of the 20th century, American psychologists once conducted an experiment: 10 volunteers were recruited and told that the experiment was aimed at observing people's reactions to strangers with physical defects, especially those with facial scars.

The makeup artist first drew a bloody wound on each volunteer's face and used a mirror to make them see their terrible selves. Subsequently, the psychologist took away the mirror.

After a while, the psychologist said that in order to make the wound more realistic, some more powder needed to be applied. In fact, instead of applying any more powder, the makeup artist used a damp cotton yarn to wipe the fake wound clean.

The unwitting volunteers were sent to various public places, and when they returned, they recounted their experiences to psychologists. Their feelings are surprisingly consistent: strangers are surprised, disgusted, lack kindness, and always stare rudely at their faces.

The results of this experiment shocked even psychologists: people's misconceptions about themselves affect their perceptions so profoundly. There is no scar on their faces, but only because they engrave the "scar" in their hearts will they feel the strange eyes of the outside world.

In other words, the so-called outside eyes are just a projection of your heart.

This psychological experiment should be enlightening for people with depression. Many patients reintegrate into society after recovery, and the biggest concern is: How will people perceive themselves? Is it curiosity, sympathy, pity, or discrimination?

Neither. In fact, everyone has their own life, and no one values you that much. What you understand as someone else's attitude is actually your attitude toward yourself. As the saying goes, "Others see you the way you see yourself." ”

If you're scared about it, it's your heart that needs to change. In this world, you alone can determine how others look at you.

Dispel stigma

Next, I will use my own example to illustrate how to overcome the fear in my heart.

That fear did exist. I remember when I was sick, my colleague took me to see a famous neurologist in a large hospital. This kind lady received me at home. She explained some things to me and told me to get better as soon as possible. "Don't delay it for a long time, it's not good to delay it for a long time," she hesitated, "I'm afraid it will scare you...... If you are sick, you have to find an exit, and if you don't do it, it will turn into cancer......"

Later, he talked about the issue of rehabilitation: "Depressed patients have a 'stigma' and are afraid of contact with people, and the more they are afraid of contact with people, the better they will become, and a vicious circle." Reintegration into society is difficult. ”

However, it turned out that reintegration into society after recovery was not so difficult.

On July 19, 2012, the night after my medication took effect, I reported the good news to Hu Shuli (editor-in-chief of Caixin Media and author of the preface to this book). The next morning, Shu immediately arranged for me to go to the office. Despite my hesitation and apprehension, I gritted my teeth and took the first step back to work.

This is an important step. Sitting in the seat after a long absence, looking at the desk clean and tidy, as before; When my colleagues saw me, they simply said hello and didn't pay any special attention.

At lunch, I talked about my experiences and feelings during my illness. Wang Shuo (editor-in-chief of Caixin Media) listened with great interest and said, "You should write an article with the title 'Hell Returns.'" ”

That night, I remembered Wang Shuo's words and gave it a try. Even though I haven't written for more than 5 months, I'm happy to find that my thinking function is not impaired, or even better.

This article played an important role in my reintegration into society. Through it, I tell friends and colleagues why I disappeared for months. From now on, there is no need for curiosity and suspicion; I don't have to go through any more explanations.

I know that many patients are particularly reluctant to mention that they have had depression. He himself was secretive, and his colleagues and friends could only be cautious in front of him, pretending not to know. Acting is too tiring, and it adds a lot of pressure to yourself and others for no reason, so why bother?

Nothing to be embarrassed about. First of all, there is no shame in this; Secondly, even if you are embarrassed, everyone is busy with their livelihoods, who can take care of you? Even if a few idlers are staring at you, how many days can their interest last?

The hand that cannot be removed

The most important thing is not the eyes of others, but how to keep your body stable for a long time.

Healing from depression is a long process, and don't think that everything is okay when the brain is uninhibited. There's still a long way to go, and medication can only get you up from the bottom of the trap, and what happens next is up to you.

First, stick to your medications. In general, maintenance therapy is given after the drug has taken effect.

The minimum course recommended by the World Health Organization is six months. In my opinion, mild depression is best maintained for more than 6 months for the sake of insurance; Moderate depression for more than 9 months; Major depression for more than 15 months.

Many people think that taking too many antidepressants can be addictive, which is a misconception. Drug studies have proven that antidepressants are not addictive. The reason why it should be taken for a long time is to maintain the concentration of neurotransmitters in the brain, and antidepressants cannot be separated from it for the time being.

Depression has a high rate of recurrence, and treatment after a relapse will be more difficult. In patients with one seizure, the recurrence rate is 50%; Two episodes, with a recurrence rate of 75%; Three episodes, the recurrence rate is almost 100%.

I have made an analogy to my patients many times: just like a person who could have walked upright, but when he is sick, he can't stand up straight, and he has to fall backwards; At this time, it is necessary to have a hand (medicine) to support his back so that he can stand up straight and continue to walk; This hand cannot be withdrawn easily, but slowly and little by little when he has regained his natural ability to stand upright and walk. Once you notice that he is a little shaky, you must immediately hold on again, otherwise all your efforts will be wasted.

I know a lot of patients who have relapsed because they can't wait to stop taking the drug. Especially some female patients, knowing the consequences of stopping the drug, in order to have a child, take risks, make a big mistake, how to regret it!

Exercise is a way of life

Almost the same effect as insisting on taking medication is to insist on exercising.

Physical activity has been shown to be effective in relieving depression, anxiety, and other chronic psychological disorders. In 2005, Harvard University in the United States devoted itself to this topic. They found that after 3 months of rigorous physical activity, patients had a significant improvement in depressive symptoms, similar to the effect of receiving antidepressant medication. Studies of secondary school students also found that those who participated in more physical activity had relatively fewer depressive symptoms.

Other studies have also found that exercise can improve psychological problems such as panic disorder, psychological trauma, and other anxiety disorders.

Researchers speculate that physical activity can boost the secretion of brain chemicals such as "endorphins." This substance can uplift a person's mood and make the spirit happy.

Physical activity can also improve self-image, get help from group members, distract from daily worries, and increase self-confidence in dealing with problems encountered. These are all good for mood improvement.

There are too many benefits of exercise to mention. Here's a little bit of a takeaway: Don't make exercise a chore and daunting it for the sake of perseverance.

You don't have to be too constrained about how much time you have to exercise every day, you have to sweat every time you exercise, and so on. If the requirements are too high, you will not be able to persevere. Be easy, feel free, and choose something easy and easy, such as a brisk walk, which can be done anytime, anywhere. Even if you can only exercise for as little as 10 minutes at a time, you will achieve success over time. When a habit slowly forms and exercise becomes an integral part of your life, there is no need to "stick to it".

Rebuild the mind

I can't remember when or where, but I read a quote to the effect that a sickness contains healing power in itself. This quote has inspired me a lot, and it is a vivid portrayal of the road to recovery from depression.

Until now, medication is the preferred way to treat depression. However, there is no need to avoid the fact that drug treatment has many limitations: first, it only treats the symptoms but not the root cause; Second, there are side effects; third, long-term maintenance therapy is required; Fourth, there is a possibility that the treatment will not be effective.

Therefore, drug treatment is only the least bad way, and although its role is decisive, its own efforts are indispensable. The degree to which a patient recovers depends on the extent to which he is able to follow his heart and rebuild his life.

I watched a TV special on depression, and there is a paragraph in which it says: Depression is also positive, it can make you stop moving fast at a certain stage of your life, take stock of your life, so that you can live a better life in the future.

Today, it seems plausible. During the course of the disease, a person temporarily loses a lot of social functioning, but the brain never stops thinking. Now that you have fallen into the lowest point of your life, there is no need to whitewash and exaggerate, but you can face your heart, dissect the past with a scalpel, and sort out the successes and failures of life. When there is nothing left to lose, a turnaround will come.

A normal spiritual world should have its own value system and spiritual construction, and have the bearing to tolerate dissent; can obtain a good social support system, and can take responsibility independently, and do not violate their conscience unless absolutely necessary; At the same time, they can also see the hustle and bustle of the world, drive enthusiasm with sincerity, and transcend anxiety with calmness, and dare to choose, give up and take on some things in their own lives.

If you can do it, you will be fearless; Everything that has been endured will not be in vain. Encountering depression will be an opportunity for you to reinvent your life.

Everyone has their own life, and what you understand is the attitude of others is actually your attitude towards yourself. In this world, you alone can determine how others look at you.