Friday closed, this week the stock made 14,000, WeChat told Pei Pei, she didn't reply to me, maybe on the plane from Shanghai back to Tianjin, maybe I saw it and didn't want to go back.

She hasn't replied to my WeChat for several days, and the last time we contacted was on Wednesday, August 10th, and at 7:46 p.m. I asked her if she was back in Tianjin, and she didn't. Later, when I asked her where she was and when she was going to be back, she ignored me. It was only later on Douyin that I watched her post a video and found out that she was going to Shanghai on a business trip.

This morning I posted a WeChat public account, which reads: How should you spend your days of suffering? Today I saw the video of Rebus's anniversary speech, talking about the perception of the three lows in life, thinking of myself, I am now at a low point in my life, entangled by emotional things, and love is not very painful. It wasn't until yesterday that I accidentally saw her song "Don't Disturb is the Last Tenderness", and I was suddenly relieved. Indeed, emotional matters depend on fate, and they are unattainable, since they are unattainable, why should I be entangled. There is a balance in the world of feelings, and you have to measure whether you have enough to support the needs of the other person. What people need is a man who can make her look up, do I have enough capital to make people look up. I just want to care about my life and provide help, but people won't need this, and I won't let you into other people's lives until the relationship is confirmed. This is only the lower level of art, and what should really be pursued is the level of Tao, which is the confidence that can give people the confidence that they can be entrusted with for life. Sometimes it's still too slow, I can see the industry trend clearly, I can roughly see the direction of a stock, but I can't see the emotional things clearly, maybe the emotional world is more complicated.

I have known her for more than 1 year, I added WeChat on July 15, 2021, met for the first time on July 20, confirmed the relationship on August 22, and separated on October 12. Re-got in touch on February 21, 22, separated on April 29, and was deleted on WeChat on May 13. WeChat re-added on August 4.

Now she basically doesn't reply to me when I send WeChat, so I often log on to Douyin, watch her online, and watch her. I don't like to watch short videos, when I first signed up for Douyin, she asked me, there are so many numbers, you are not tired, are you? I'll tell her the truth, I used to be quite reluctant to do this, but if you like it, I want to try it. She said, do you believe this yourself, it's an international joke. I argued, I thought so, what was there to joke about. And give her a screenshot of the friend page, telling her that she is the only friend of the friends. It feels like she lacks basic trust in me right now, and feels like I'm pandering to her by saying anything, but I really don't.

I don't know when she will return to Tianjin, and she doesn't say anything when I ask her, I can only click on her avatar to see if her IP territory is still displayed in Shanghai, indicating that she is still in Shanghai.

Sometimes I really doubt whether my insistence is meaningful, but to love someone is to strengthen your beliefs and be unswerving, whether you can get the favor of others depends on why you love her, how deep you love, and how much you are willing to pay for her.

In marriage and love, it seems that it is often the problems that people encounter that affect the relationship, especially those who want to solve the problem by breaking up or divorce at every turn. In fact, every couple will have problems, and whether they will be happy or separated in the future does not depend entirely on the problems people encounter, but also on how people attribute the problems.

When a type of person encounters emotional problems, it is easy to attribute it to himself because he has "found the wrong person" and thinks that his lover is not a suitable person for him. Since you are looking for the wrong person, how to solve this problem? Only substitutions, breakups or divorces. Therefore, this kind of person is easy to use substitution to solve the problems encountered in the relationship.

This attribution method is easy to make people fall into a strange circle: after the change, when they encounter problems again, it is easy to attribute it to "finding the wrong person", and the solution is to break up or divorce, and then find another one to start a new cycle.

A dating expert shared a study of their divorce rate, and they found a pattern: the more you get married, the higher the divorce rate, and it doesn't go down until the eighth marriage.

This may be because the more times you get married, the easier it is for two people who are used to being attributed to "finding the wrong person" to unite, and when encountering problems, both parties are accustomed to using "substitution" to solve the problem, and the more likely it is to divorce. By the eighth marriage, many people have already reached the end of their lives and have no time to "change".

People who tend to attribute it to "finding the wrong person", even if they don't want to change people, are easy to change the other party and make the other party their ideal lover, which is the source of pain in many people's relationships. There is an essential difference between change and "influence", "influence" does not cause pain to each other, but change does.

The other group of people looks at the problems that arise in relationships in this way: Why can't we get along? Maybe it's because I haven't learned to get along with the real person. How to solve it? Of course, it is to learn how to get along with the real person, that is, to grow yourself and adjust yourself, not to change the other person.

Attribution: Doesn't get along with the other person

This kind of lover will also encounter problems, but every time they encounter problems, it is an opportunity to understand the real other person, grow themselves, and learn to get along with each other. So, it's the same cycle, but this kind of person grows in the cycle, there will be fewer and fewer problems in the relationship, and the relationship will get better and better.

"Find the wrong person" or "won't get along"? One is outward attribution and the other is inward attribution; One asks the outside world to change to adapt to itself, and the other is willing to understand the outside world and then change itself to adapt to the outside world. Perhaps in love, the difference between a person who is easy to be happy or not easy to be happy lies in the thought when he encounters a problem: whether it is attribution outward or inward.

Everyone wants to live a happy life, but a happy life is not given by others, a happy life is often created by oneself, which comes from the ability to have enough love in the heart, and the external world is only the result of inner projection and creation, and happiness is first in one's own heart. Self-esteem is not something that comes from others. Only by the accumulation of self-confidence can we be as hard as a rock, not as fragile as glass! Just as a successful person first has a successful heart, and then slowly shows it, a happy person first has the ability to love in his heart, and then slowly shows it in his life.