We always want our children to be well, get into the best schools, and have the best jobs, but these so-called "good for them" ideas involve too much selfishness. We didn't teach them, "Be considerate of others, don't hurt them; When you don't hurt others, others will make you happy and happy. "We only teach them to be selfish, to be first, to go to the best school; Just tell them, "If you don't work hard, you won't get results; If you don't work hard, you won't win. ”

When educating children, you must first observe your own heart and see whether your current education of your child is based on your own attachment, subjective consciousness or selfish mentality, or whether it is really for the good of the other party. You must reflect on yourself and understand, otherwise, like most people, you have not discussed life and do not know how to distinguish between good and evil, and of course you will not teach the next generation.

Many parents devote their efforts to their children, and give them academic and external material satisfaction wholeheartedly, but can these make them distinguish between good and evil in their hearts and make trade-offs? Parents always think that if they leave their children rich knowledge and material things, they will be happy and safe, but this is not the case. If we only think that "He has no knowledge, we give him knowledge; He needs money, and we give him money; We will give whatever he wants", and it is completely wrong to speak good things to our children without knowing how to correct their mistakes, thinking that this is the education of love for children and love. Many parents are reluctant to scold their children, and they are reluctant to be scolded by others, and they do not teach them that "scolding is not right, because when others scold you, you will be unhappy, so you can't scold others". As long as these children do wrong things and are beaten and scolded by others, their parents will be their backing, so that the children do not know how to distinguish between good and evil, and for him hurting others becomes a source of satisfaction and happiness, but the heart is empty. Parents like this, who think they love their children, hurt their children and many more people.

We often see many parents doing negative things themselves, but teaching their children not to do this - how to educate their children if they don't set an example?

Young people who grow up in a materially rich environment will not know what the consequences of hurting others will not know if they do not know the trade-offs between good and evil, and they will still take it as pleasure to hurt others. Whose fault is this? Many people blame this fault on the failure of social education and school education, and do not think that they are at fault. The so-called society is the combination of everyone like you and me, and then expanded into the country and the world; Therefore, education must start from oneself, and before educating others, we must first educate ourselves.

The love that parents give to their children is based on wisdom that can teach them how to discern good and what is evil. If such a family can influence other families and raise the level of other families, this is the achievement of real family education. If there is a successful family education, then the teacher teaches the students how to behave in the world, and the students can truly understand. Otherwise, if the teacher gives the student personality education attentively, and when the student returns home, his parents only teach him to do his homework well and only give him money, then no matter how much effort the teacher puts in, the results will be limited. If parents can't educate one or two children in the family, then why do you expect teachers who are facing dozens of students to teach your children well? And how binding can social norms or laws be?

The education of children in a family is actually a reflection of parents' self-cultivation and emotional intelligence from one side. If parents are selfish in personality, then a child will be imperceptibly influenced by the living environment since he was a child, and he will also be a person who only thinks about himself and lacks love and responsibility in the future. As a parent, the focus of the child's cultivation from an early age should be on the mind, because a child with high emotional intelligence, even if his (her) academic performance is not necessarily the first, but because of this sound personality formation, he will definitely be a tolerant, responsible, loving and productive person in the future. What is needed for survival of the fittest is high emotional intelligence.